We Have a Winner

… And it's MB, from sunny Adelaide.
Congratulations, MB. Your prize is to be able to wear a smug grin all day.

Sassy almost got there (two guesses is kinda cheating), but the rest of you were way off. Shame on you.

Okerly Dokerly.
Let's go through the answers. Swap papers and mark the person's sitting next to you so there's no more cheating.

1. When I was little, I used to feed cheese to my toy cars.

Damned right! For a toddler, it's a logical leap: I like cheese, therefore my toy cars will like it, too.
So I stuffed their little engine compartments full of stinky yellow goodness to make them go faster … or so I've been told.

2. I know how to get cattle to follow me anywhere.

I kinda hoped this would throw you, but it didn't (other than Sassy).
Hey, I'm from Norfolk farming stock. It's easy (though sadly, not rude).
Just wet your hand and stick it in a sack of milk powder, then jam it into a cow's mouth.
Said cow will follow you ANYWHERE, and the rest of the herd will tag along to see what the fuss is about. Be warned, though: your hand will receive a serious and yucky slobbering (she won't bite you).
The hard part, once you've got 'em where you want 'em to go, is getting your hand back.

3. My dining room is guarded by a blue rubber cat.

Meet Stouffer, my blue rubber cat (below, in Dive's rather familiar dining room).

click the pic for a bigger scary blue rubber cat

He's a hand puppet from Harry Hill's stage show and is great for frightening children.
For a bet with Mikey, I once travelled all the way to work wearing him. Right across London in the rush hour and everyone ignored me except one woman on the tube who cracked up when Stouffer gave her the eye.

4. In my guitar collection is a limited edition "Hello Kitty" Fender Stratocaster.

Bingo!
I was dicking around with one in a music shop yesterday morning and ALMOST bought it. It's so cool! Bright pink, with a big Hello Kitty right across it, and pink fret markers. I just want to take it on stage and freak the band out.
So, as I was too damned sensible to buy it, this one's the false answer.

5. I own a collection of Marxist crockery.

For starters there's a Che mug on the table by Stouffer.
I've got lots of socialist mugs and other crockery knick-knacks. Why Robyn should think there's no such thing as Marxist crockery is something only an American could answer.
I've got Marx and Lenin and Trotsky of course, through China, Nicaragua, Cuba, European Marxists, South and Central American, like Paulo Friere and good old Augusto Sandinho (mad as a chocolate hat and a useless revolutionary, but he kicked Yankee butt, so he gets my vote … The Sandanistas are named after him and Woody Allen used him as an inspiration for "Bananas", as the ultimate crap revolutionary). Shedloads of Cuban stuff; the list goes on …
WHY I should accumulate all this crap is anybody's guess.

So. Congratulations once again to MB.
Bonzer, cobber!