Benefits of a Classical Education

On the way to work yesterday I passed one of those sludge-gulpers … you know: big-assed sewerage pumping veehickles that unblock drains and empty septic tanks and the like?

It had one of those sunscreen things on the windscreen, bearing the legend "SEMPER NELLA MERDA"* … I almost went off the road laughing.



* For any who - unlike me - did not have to sit five years of compulsory Latin at school, this can be translated colloquially as "always in the shit".

If You're Gonna Take a Selfie, Why Stop at Your Face?

Hokay, so as selfies go this one is pretty extreme but it's the only photograph taken of me this year so I'm thinking of using it as my Fæcebook profile shot (or maybe not). It was taken by a teeny tiny Raquel Welch in a miniaturised submarine (for anyone who can remember the sixties).

Anyhoo … other than some minor medical faff and blather and some icky nasties that the surgeon put right with rubber bands, superglue and bulldog clips it appears that I am all mended and can get back to whatever passes for normality around here.

This, by the way, is a portrait, taken yestereve of my prominent Brunner's glands - something I was not aware of having until last night. As it's a whole lot prettier than my face I may well use it on dating sites.

One thing I learned about gastroscopies: when the surgeon pumps your tum full of air so he can see what's he's doing, you can't help but do the most AWESOME monster belches! Hell, if I could belch like that when I was ten years old I'd have been king of the school.

I also learned that it's possible to giggle with a camera tube jammed down your throat and to make a nurse crack up.

So … Let's see some of your own extreme selfies.