WTF Monday - Statue to the Unknown Veterinarian

Many thanks to Phil and Dawn for spotting this guy elbow deep in bovine ass during their recent trip to Madeira.

Saturday Statuary - Lippy and Slap

"Dude! You told me you were an expert with make-up an' shit.

That lippy and slap you sold me?

I mean, what the fuck?

Just look at me!

I can't go out without my helmet over my face.

Start running, dude, cuz I'm gonna whup yo ass!"

Saturday Statuary - Big-Ass Bug Thing

"Now hold still, sweetie; I'm just gonna put this big-ass bug thing in your hand."

Saturday Statuary

"Come, my darling, and kiss my weird alien face and I promise that next time I'll pay for a sculptor who can do hair and sleeves properly and not make us look all wrinkly and wet."

WTF Monday - Yet More Inexplicable Classicism

"You want this, huh?
You want this bunch of grapes and this severed penis?
Huh?
Yeah, I know you want it.
Well you can just keep your filthy paws away from my fruit sack, you weird fucking cat/dog/otter-looking thing, you.
As for the severed penis: I don't exactly recall why I'm holding that but as it's way bigger than mine I'm thinking I'll just keep hold of it and you can go find your own."

Saturday Statuary

I'm sure I'll be fine running around the garden naked, just so long as I don't trip over anythi …
Shitshitshitshitshit!

WTF Monday - Why We Study The Classics

It's all there:

the penis, the headband, the suggestively positioned frankfurter, the begging turtle … er …

I've trawled Ovid's Metamorphoses and come up blank. You gotta help me here.

Saturday Statuary - Eat The Baby

Very few people these days appreciate just what an excellent source of protein babies can provide.

Babies … the other, other white meat.

Saturday Statuary - Gayrilla

Preparations for Pride Day's march were in full swing at Breakfast Club this morning.

Even the fuzz were getting in on the action.

Careful with that baton, officer …

Saturday Statuary - Chair

Saturday Statuary - Cock

Big, angry cock.

Waiting to be … er … ridden.

Who Wants To Live For Ever?

WTF Monday / Saturday Statuary … er … on Wednesday

I'm still here, just taking a bit of a lazy-assed time out to watch the tennis.
In the meantime, Norwich - having endured a plague of elephants and one of penguins, has now been invaded by gorillas.
Or did I dream it …

Saturday Statuary - Happy Face

Norwich Cathedral again … This time it's a statue of a woman wondering how she managed to put on her shawl and trap her arm in it.

Saturday Statuary - Anne Drops Her Walkie Talkie

"Damn!"

Saturday Statuary - Sphinx Ass

Saturday Statuary - Parrot

Porquoi?
Je ne sais quoi …

Saturday Statuary

Don't know what's supposed to be going on here. It's called "Monument to Dedalus" though why they can't spell Dædalus is quite beyond me, and why Norwich needs a monument to Dædalus anyway is a mystery.
It looks to me, however, for all the world like a bunch of spare props left over from the Robocop movies … er … on a stick, but then what do I know?

Saturday Statuary - Fetch the Stick!

Hokay, so it's supposed to be Diana, the Huntress, but it looks like some woman throwing a stick for her dog to fetch. The fact that she's naked and standing on a triffid decorated with bananas simply goes to prove that I was right about the world all along.
This in in Green Park, just outside the new Green Park tube station that our London office designed (rather spiffy, as it happens - I may do a post on it one day).
It's still snowing blizzardly here, which is why I'm using last year's photos. Looks like we've skipped spring again and when (if) this cold spell ends we'll be thrown screaming straight into sticky, sweaty summer hell.
A pox on the weather gods. May they be forcibly buggered with a splintered gatepost.

Saturday Statuary - Why?

Nice beaver …
But why?
I mean, is there really any reason for this thing to exist (let alone to cost a hundred and forty quid)?
Who buys this stuff?
Point them out. I want to go and stare at them.

And for goodness sake, try to employ staff with good handwriting. That's appalling.