500 Words XXXIX - This Week's Sentence

This week's sentence is taken - for no particular reason except that I loved the name Mrs. Runkle - from Henry James' 'Pandora.'

It is 'Then she has got her sister staying with her: Mrs. Runkle, from Natchez.'

Have fun with it, and please get your homework in ready to post before next Thursday morning.

500 Words XXXVIII - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from line 532 of Beowulf ("beore druncen ymb spræce …"), in Seamus Heaney's translation:

It was:
"But it was mostly beer doing the talking."

Coffee cup in hand?
Comfy chair under butt?
Okay, here we go:

Vanda's 'The Morning Goes Meta'

Oh, my, what a raucous chortle I had with this one. I do hope for Vanda's sake it isn't a true story, but whatever it is I am still giggling.
Hilarious!
And great alliteration, too, so lots of bonus points.

Dive's 'Milwaukee's Finest'

A shameful lack of lovely alliteration from me this week. Also apologies to Shazza for using her evocative descriptions of her part of Jersey as the setting for my story.
This one's a sequel to a much earlier tale, so it might be an idea to read that one first before finding out what happened to the narrator of that story later that same day.

Enjoy!

Prudence's 'Please Fasten Your Seatbelts'

And now here come's Prudence with a just-beat-the-deadline story of life, love and cowboy hats.
Yeehaw!

WTF Monday - Safety At Sea Special

I found this hanging off a fishing vessel at Wells on the North Norfolk coast.

Bearing in mind that the North Sea between North Norfolk and Norway can be one of the stormiest and most dangerous stretches of water anywhere, I think I would want to see a slightly more seaworthy lifeboat before I put to sea.

Click on the picture for a larger image, with more holes and rust.

Weekend

Sheesh! Temperatures in the high eighties and the lilac and clematis going nutso in my garden (click on the pic for a larger image, regrettably not in smell-o-vision) and how do I spend my weekend?

Yup, holed up in a darkened room with Mikey, playing Red Dead Redemption.

I know there's something wrong with me, you don't need to say.

Enjoy your own weekends in whatever way you will.

500 Words XXXVIII - This Week's Sentence

This week's sentence celebrates two of my favourite things: Anglo Saxon literature and alcohol.

It is taken from line 532 of Beowulf ("beore druncen ymb spræce …"), but I shall be merciful and let you use Seamus Heaney's splendid translation:
"But it was mostly beer doing the talking."

As we're on the subject of Anglo Saxon literature, extra points will be awarded for lots of lovely alliteration. And for quaffing tankards of beer while writing.

Have fun!

500 Words XXXVII - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from volume II of "The History Of England From The Accession Of James II" by the incomparably entertaining and insightful Thomas Babington Macauley.

The sentence was: "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."

First to hand in her assignment:

Vanda's 'Secrets of the High Tower'

Rosamund returns! Yay for schoolgirl assassins. This time our heroine's sleuthing and I certainly wouldn't like to be in the shoes of the sleuthee (is that a word? … Well it is now).

And a really busy week for Vanda. She also posted the unfinished (and delightfully teasing) story from an older 500 Words assignment:

Vanda's 'Half-Assed'

Oooooh, bodily fluids in the carpet, and that's not all that needs scrubbing out of it. A glorious start, tantalisingly set up. I do hope Vanda manages to finish it one day, though I have a feeling this is more the start of a novella than a mere 500 Words story.

Dive's 'The Envelope'

We're back with the Bartleby stories once again. This one finds Mac a year on from the very first story and in an almost identical situation. Nothing much happens this week, I'm afraid; he's not involved in shooting someone or enjoying casual sex with a waitress but we do get a teensy insight into his character.

Any more that come in will get posted up here. Next assignment tomorrow. Sharpen your pencils and fill your brains with caffeine.


Oh, and once you've done that, pop across to Shazza's new site and in particular this post. Click on her link and go check out her friend Paul's songs. What a great voice the man has. As deep and rich as my coffee.
Enjoy!

WTF Monday - Scoobies Special

Silly

Perusing Private Eye on the train yesterday, this cartoon reduced me to fits of giggles.

Have a splendid weekend.

500 Words XXXVII - This Week's Sentence

The shabby horse-trading and the wholesale whoring of principle and honour that followed in the reeking wake of our recent election reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from my very favourite historian, the incomparably brilliant beacon of the nineteenth century, Thomas Babington Macaulay:
"In every age the vilest specimens of human nature are to be found among demagogues."

To save some of you dashing for the dictionary, a demagogue is a political leader who courts popularity by arousing the emotions, passions and more particularly the prejudices of the people.
Inarguably true when Macaulay wrote it, yet even more painfully accurate today when applied to the slimy, sleaze-smeared leaders of all three of England's main political parties as they thrashed about in so undignified a manner in a vain attempt at forming a government that will be anything more than a pathetic mockery.
Three parties bereft of policies, principles and - after this week's disgraceful display - any shred of decency have left the concept of democracy indelibly stained with their shameful (or more accurately, shameless) hypocrisy as they publicly wrestled in a festering pismire of lies and deceit for a position at the trough.

The vilest specimens indeed.

So it is to the magnificent Macaulay we look for this week's sentence.
It might well have been his astute (and tragically funny) observation that "The Puritan hated bear baiting not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators."

But instead I have chosen (as it lends itself more to storytelling): "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."

You know the rules. Dive in and do your worst.

PS:
Aren't you proud of me for not swearing? Because believe me I want to.

500 Words XXXVI - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from The Inaugural Address of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The sentence was: 'We must act, and act quickly.'

I had expected stories set in the thirties and maybe a guest appearance by FDR himself, but instead we find ourselves - somewhat bizarrely - entangled in the modern American service industry.
That's one of the things I enjoy most about 500 Words: the surprising and delightful randomness of our writers' fecund imaginings.

Got your coffee to hand?
Settle in then for this week's stories:

Vanda's 'This Unamerican Life'

Clashing cultures formed the modern US of A and by the look of things, they are still at it. Vanda's Raj is a character I really want to see more of, though reading this week's story I am kind of glad that I'm anosmic.
Oh, and a great title, especially for us NPR fans.

Dive's 'The Gentleness Of Bees'

Caffeine, shouty old men, the dreadful things hairdressers name their shops and orange plaid slacks. I'm back with my apparent waitress fixation this week.

Any late stories will be added as they come in, and next week's sentence will be posted tomorrow (if I can think of one in time).

Enjoy.

WTF Monday - Obesity Special

500 Words XXXVI - This Week's Sentence

In the spirit of appalled disenchantment, deep revulsion and utter contempt for the three main allegedly political parties currently bickering over which of them gets to despoil our country for the next four years, this week's sentence harks back to the days when politics mattered and democracy was not debased to its current sickening extent.

It is taken from The Inaugural Address of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The sentence is: 'We must act, and act quickly.'

You know the rules. Five hundred of your finest words, please.

Somebody pass me a gun; I've got a revolution to start.

¡Hasta la Victoria Siempre!

500 Words XXXV - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from Bram Stoker's 'Dracula.'

It was: 'I am alone in the castle with those awful women.'

So settle in with your coffee and crucifixes and strings of garlic and let us tell you stories.

First up:

Katherine's 'Sometime In Time'

Scary and indeed dangerously delicious writing from Katherine this week. Fortunately no vampires but something even more dark and deadly (and chocolatey) lurks within.

Dive's 'What We Did On Vacation'

A vampire-free zone from me, too. As usual, I don't know where the hell this one came from; I just started writing and it all poured out. Mercifully, none of it is from personal experience.

Next sentence tomorrow. Any latecomers' stories will be posted up here as they come in.

Toodles!

WTF Monday - Berkeley Edition

A big thank you to Katie for spotting this one at the weekend.
You gotta hate the way that stuff gets stuck between your paws.