Back in the world of trashy kitsch crapola that is Great Yarmouth for the second of our "Katie And Dive Do Great Yarmouth" posts.
The main reason we went to Yarmouth - indeed the main reason Katie flew all the way from San Francisco - was to see the justifiably world famous "American Highway" in action.
Here it is in all its glory last February … the world's most pathetic amusement park ride.
We were desperately disappointed to discover that it has gone the way of all flesh and is now the home of a water pistol target shooting game called - rather too grandly - the Britannia Pier Fire Dep't.All that is left is the sad little track that the cars ran on …
… at least the outrageously camp US traffic cop survives, though now sawn out of his city backdrop and nailed somewhat ignominiously to a fence.But bugger all round that! We are here to have FUN (in upper case letters, no less).
And FUN we shall have!Here's the whole of that teaser shot I posted a while back … Katie hi-jacking one of the kiddies' rides.
Where shall she take us, I wonder?
Er … to be weighed, of course.Katie is super-slim and fit and weighs not very much at all …
Whereas I am super-not-slim and saggy and appropriately hefty.Having said that, we ate like piggies all week and I still managed to lose five pounds – which (astonishingly) I have kept off.
Yay for unaccustomed exercise (we … er … walked a lot)!
And so to the pier … Disney World has nothing on Yarmouth!We have the best and most high-tech rides on the planet.
Witness this: the … er … Camel Derby.
I remember playing this when I was a kiddie.
Tremendous fun!
Best of all, however, was the old "penny push"!Now updated to 2p pieces it is still the exciting if trashy fun it was all those decades ago.
Katie was determined to win …
… and win she most certainly did!Again and again!
Woohoo!
There are many more attractions to be had on and around the piers.Donkey rides! Whee!
Dangerous structures!Yippee!
Teletubbies!Holy fuck!
And at the end of the Britannia Pier sits - rather incongruously amidst the tat - a genuine Edwardian carousel.
Complete with scary-eyed stampeding horses to frighten your kiddies …
Or - if your children are somewhat differently inclined - an unnecessarily gay pink swan and … er … a chicken.
And when your kiddies are happily whirling around they can look up and see …Oh-er … a naked boy with his willie out.
And some splendidly graphic … er … um … I really cannot possibly imagine what these ladies are doing.But yay, boobies!
Those Edwardians certainly knew how to educate their children!
Let's check out the shops, shall we?Here's our heroine showing her skills as a photographer.
Katie has an eye for a good photo.
Even here!
Check it out!Cool, huh?
This lady seemed somewhat over-glam for her vocation - I marvelled at her immaculate hair-do - though she was happy for Katie to take her photo and gave us a smile.We like the sign behind her:
"A smile can make the whole world very happy."
Yay for Glam-Donut-Woman!
And yay aussi for donuts, spelled the American way, without the highly appropriate "UGH" that we brits add to make doughnuts.We got these bright and early, just as the place was opening and so - luckily - got them fried in the first fat of the day, which was reassuringly clean and clear and free of cack.
Let's not be coy here … they were fucking awesome!I'd not had a freshly-made donut since I was a teenager and it brought back all those memories of acne and despair.
And gave me a day-long psycho-sugar rush.
We refrained from following that with ice creams …
Not for want of trying on my part, however.
As for this grotesquely nauseating display … I think Katie's body language says it all: "Let's get outta here!"I wonder where we shall go next?
Tune in and you may find out …
