Hang On A Minute …

Sheesh!

This week has been so busy I have not had a minute to myself, and I'm back in London again on Thursday so I won't have the chance to do the Story Time post until Friday.

I promise I'll sort it out then.

Gotta dash … Toodle pip!

WTF Lunedì

Another shot from Phil's trip to Rome.

500 Words XXXII - This Week's Sentence

This week’s sentence is taken from L. Frank Baum’s deliciously subversive tale, ‘The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz’.

It is:
‘Not a tree nor a house broke the broad sweep of flat country that reached to the edge of the sky in all directions.’

Give your mind a good sniff of the sentence, then slip off its leash and let it run free.
The rules are the same as always.

Enjoy!

500 Words XXXI - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from Willa Cather's lovely 'Death Comes For The Archbishop'.

It was:
'Muerto,' he whispered.

And yes, the chill hand of ol' Death himself stalks our stories this week, so settle in with an iced coffee and sit in that annoying seat that all coffee shops have where the air-con blows right down the back of your neck and let us tell you tales …


Adonia's 'Part II: The Pearsons'

Christmas with a sting in the tail from Adonia this week.
Lovely descriptions; I felt I was right there in the Pearson house.
But don't get too comfortable!


Lulu's 'Dead Fish Swimming'

First up: awesome title, Lulu!
No space aliens, Godzilla, Chandleresque detectives or wild sex this week, but a lovely day out for Davey (who is really growing as a character) where sand, sea and sunshine are chilled by death foretold.
This really is terrific writing. I love it!


Robyn's 'Miss Bernice And The Newts'

Eek! The terrifying Miss Haversham returns to feed the nightmares of children (and me).
Beware her home-made cookies and tremble at her finger puppets.
Of course, her heart is in the right place, it's just that it resides inside a classic fairy-tale monster.
Brr …

Dive's 'Sometimes That's All You Need'

I'm still on my Chekhov kick, so once again I give you some nondescript characters and then make nothing much happen.

Next assignment in tomorrow's post.
There or square; it's your choice.

Enjoy the stories!

WTF วันจันทร์

Motion Towards …

Senatus PopulusQue Romanus (as opposed to Romani Ite Domum).

I was just cleaning out some of my photo files on the Mac when I came across Phil's photos of his trip to Rome a couple of weeks back.
Being the type of person who is easily distracted I got sidetracked into giving some of them the "Teeny Tiny Treatment" and then I realised that they are actually bloody good photos, so as Phil is not blogging at the moment I'll put a few of them up here for your lazy-assed Sunday afternoon perusal.
Hey, what else are you gonna do on a Sunday? Visit the inlaws? Sheesh! Sit and look at these pretty pictures instead; it's better than the telly and a lot better for your soul than going to church.

Here's a Teeny Tiny dome in the Vatican.

A Teeny Tiny ceiling painting.

The Teeny Tiny Colosseum (apparently it looked bigger when he was there).
Do click on these. Some of them blow up quite well.

A Teeny Tiny car park in the Vatican.

The rather bigger Colosseum.

The Pantheon. Yay!

Decius Marius Venantius wrote this when he was drunk.

Very dodgy looking Vatican guards (this was just after the scandal broke with the Vatican guards and the transexual prostitutes … and dressed like this I'd look worried, too).

I especially like this one. Boffo, Phil!

The Tiber at night. Be careful crossing that bridge.

Colin being Colin.

I might post some more of these another day. He took lots of spiffy photos.

Oh, and an easy two points for anyone spotting the post title reference.
Enjoy!

What's Cooking With Dive? - Quickie Sucker Salad

I've not done a 'What's Cooking With Dive' post for ages. I keep meaning to, but time is a problem right at the moment.

Having said that, Lulu's story from last week's 500 Words assignment (which she just rushed in late) is such a doozy, and probably the most scary and disgusting thing ever written about seafood - check it out: it's at the end of the last Story Time post from a couple of days ago … just don't eat before you read it - that I decided to post a quickie 'What's Cooking' today.

I read Lulu's story just as I got home from David the fishmonger and it's only the fact that I am a truly gross and disgusting person myself that enabled me to eat seafood after reading it.
David's just expanded his mighty emporium with an enlarged shellfish section and as well as my usual stuff I grabbed a bag of marinaded octopus and some little prawns to make a donburi-style lunch.

With a true donburi, you pile the food on top of the rice but I had too much octopus so I plopped it in a plate.

Anyhoo … Not much cooking involved in this one. Just crank up the rice steamer, add a handful of Jasmine rice, boil the kettle for some miso soup, then plonk the whole lot on the table and eat it. The green stuff's wasabi by the way.

I promise I'll do some proper cookery posts soon, but this tentacular affair kinda suited Lulu's story as most of you find such things icky.
For any newbies, do click on the "Eat Me" link in my sidebar and check out further forays into cephalopod heaven, including the utterly disgusting "How to dismember fresh squid with your bare hands" post that grossed so many of you out. The creepy one with the live razor clams is in there somewhere, too. Squeamish, beware!

500 Words XXXI - This Week's Sentence

This week's sentence - should you choose to accept it* - is taken from Willa Cather's slow-burn masterpiece 'Death Comes For The Archbishop'.

It is:
'Muerto,' he whispered.

Have fun with it.


* Requiescat in pace Peter Graves (muerto also), who this week set off on one last Mission Impossible.
Let's raise a glass to the man who gave us Captain Oveur ("Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?").
Good luck, Jim.

500 Words XXX - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from E.M. Forster's 'A Room With A View'.

It was:
'It tasted partly of the paper in which it was wrapped, partly of hair oil, partly of the great unknown.'

I expected ickiness and was not disappointed.

First up: a big, friendly Blogville welcome to a new writer, the wonderful Adonia!

Adonia's 'Part 1 - Adonia'

Adonia got me hooked right from the start, with a gloriously disgusting description of an old lady's hat. From there, she upped the ickiness factor considerably.
Funny, fabulously imaginative and genuinely stomach-churningly delightful.
A great debut! Let's have more from Adonia, please.

Only one other story for your coffee-time perusal this week (so far):

Dive's 'Misrememberie'

Seems like I cannot stroll down memory lane without stepping in something disgusting.

Enjoy!

Next week's sentence will be posted tomorrow and a spanking administered to those (you know who you are) who said they might actually come up with the goods and write a story this week.

Hey! This just in:
One of our recalcitrant writers has avoided a spanking by handing in her homework at the last minute.

Robyn's 'Miss Bernice Takes A Job'

Some lovely descriptions and delightful little details as always with a Robyn story.
This one involves a heroine with a surname that always scares the crap out of me, but it's nowhere near as scary or icky (yes, more ick … yay!) as what happens at the end.

What a splendidly icky week we have had here in Storyland.


Holy crap!
Better late than never, Lulu comes running in with what is without doubt the scariest thing I have ever read:

Lulu's 'Cooking With Benni'

Brace yourselves, and whatever you do, do NOT eat before reading this (you certainly won't be able to afterwards). Lulu, that is the most truly disturbing and utterly disgusting thing ever set loose on the internet.
I'm still shivering (and giggling) … Brr!
Be afraid, readers … be very afraid.

WTF วันจันทร์

500 Words XXX - This Week's Sentence

This week's sentence is taken from E.M. Forster's 'A Room With A View'.

It is:
'It tasted partly of the paper in which it was wrapped, partly of hair oil, partly of the great unknown.'

Icky, eh?
You know the rules. Go to it.

500 Words XXIX - Story Time

This week’s sentence was taken from Wilkie Collins’ ‘The Moonstone.’

It was:
‘The Thursday night passed, and nothing happened.’

Just Lulu and me again this week, but Lulu's is an absolute corker!

Lulu's 'Home'

You have got to - and this is an order, so there's no getting out of it - you have got to click on Lulu's conveniently placed 'Jarvis and Smith' links at the top of her sidebar and read ALL seven chapters of this amazing story.

It all started way back in George Eliot's 'Middlemarch' assignment.
Lulu asked quite innocently: 'Is romance novel genre required?'
To which I answered: 'Go with whatever you feel: noir, comedy, space aliens, Godzilla, whatever.'

And so it came to pass. Noir, comedy, space aliens, Godzilla and much, much more (including some very steamy erotica) all came together in Lulu's brain and out popped the Jarvis and Smith stories.

Somehow (I marvel at her ingenuity) Lulu has tied all of these strands of chaos together in this week's chapter with a quite brilliant and very believable denouément and still she manages to slip in a tasty twist at the very end.

I am still grinning, days after reading it.

Dive's 'Thursday Night Fever'

Just me working out some of my issues with the Guy upstairs. Hey ho.

Next assignment tomorrow. Do join in, people. You're missing out on some fun.

WTF 月曜日

500 Words XXIX - This Week's Sentence

It's Friday, so it must be homework time.
Er … yay!

This week’s sentence is taken from Wilkie Collins’ ‘The Moonstone.’

It was:
‘The Thursday night passed, and nothing happened.’

Hmm … There's a nice blank canvas for you. Let your fervid imaginings spill forth all over it and we'll read the results like a Rorschach test next Thursday.

You know the rules. Get writing, people.

500 Words XXVIII - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from Boris Pasternak's 'Doctor Zhivago'.

The sentence was:
'The hotel staff were being driven frantic; the incident in No.23 was only one more nuisance added to their daily vexations.'

Only two this week, unless there are some latecomers.

First up, the continuing saga of Jarvis and Miss. Smith, with a real cliffhanger of an ending.

Lulu's 'This Little Piggy'

Yikes! Poor Jarvis!
Lulu is really putting our hero through it. What started as a gloriously erotic encounter with Miss. Smith in his office a few weeks back has spiralled into a nightmare (albeit an hilarious one).
Plus some wonderful references to WTF posts weaved into the narrative. Yay, Lulu!


Dive's 'With Apologies To Anton Chekhov, Master Of The Open Ended Short Story'

More confused people in confusing situations. I kinda like Maggie, though. She might turn up in another story sometime.

Next sentence tomorrow. See you there.

Farewell, Comrade

So farewell then, Michael Foot.

One of my all time heroes died today, at 96.
A true and lifelong Socialist, a brilliant writer and essayist (one of the finest authors of the twentieth century), an eloquent orator and hugely entertaining raconteur, political maverick, co-founder of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, human rights campaigner, famously appalling dresser, freedom fighter, leader of the Labour Party and probably the nicest person ever to enter politics.

Rest in peace, old comrade. You will be sorely missed.

WTF วันจันทร์

Ah, the secret of happiness.

Thank Katie for this one, found in Chiang Mai.