Cobwebs

St.James's Park, Westminster; 5PM.

Car Porn Thursday - Auto Union

Pre-War Auto Unions.

It's Thursday so I don't need a reason.

The magnificent Auto Union eventually fell from grace and has since mutated into Audi, a company that makes soulless, strap-on dicks for middle management inadequates.

How are the mighty fallen …

Wednesday Window - Panto

Fortnum and Mason on Piccadilly have splendid shop window displays. Unfortunately, they also have really shiny windows and the reflections make photographing their displays a nightmare.

This year, their Christmas display is based around traditional pantomime, and specifically - this being London - Dick Whittington.

At Bryan's suggestion, I popped back there after dark to photograph the things lit up. There are still some intrusive reflections (and lots of camera shake) but the results are better than in daylight.

Enjoy the panto!

There Goes The Sun

Add caption

Carrying on the theme of Saturday's post (Westminster Abbey in the dark at four-thirty in the afternoon), here, for the entertainment of those residents of Blogville who live in sunnier climes is a sunset photo I took on Sunday at (check the clock) two minutes past three.
By Christmas it'll be just about dark by then.
Brr …

On a merrier note, the answer to yesterday's conundrum is of course "a phallocrypt."

Koteka, horim, phallocrypt, penis gourd; call it what you will, it is a thing of splendour, and highly practical, too.
I wish the codpiece would come back into fashion here in England. A phallocrypt gives a man plenty of space and healthy air where it's needed and has the added convenience of concealing the occasional involuntary stiffy from the general public by becoming more of a "snug fit". No more tent-trouser embarrassment.
Let's start the campaign right here: Bring Back The Codpiece!
Many thanks again to Jules for her thoughtful and sensitive gift.

WTF Monday - Don't Leave Home Without It

WTF?

Time to put your twisted brains into gear and hazard a guess as to what this might be.
Hint: it's from Papua New Guinea.

When Jules visited last week she came bearing gifts, both beautiful and bizarre.

I'll leave you to decided the category into which this falls.

All I'll say is that it's probably the sweetest and most thoughtful present anyone has ever given me.

I promised Jules a photo of me wearing it.

So as not to spoil the surprise I've chosen to wear it in an inappropriate fashion.To narrow down your guessing, I can confirm that it is not a beard cosy.

Neither is it an ear trumpet.

So what is it?

Oh, and please forgive my "whiskery old-timer" comedy Movember facial hair.

Stained Glass Sunday - Sweet

Why should churches have all the fun?

This is MY kind of stained glass!

These are in Burlington Arcade in Piccadilly.

November Afternoon - Westminster Abbey

By four-thirty in the afternoon (when this was taken) it's already pretty dark here in the frozen north. By Christmas it'll be dark at three-thirty. Sheesh!

This is the time of year that reminds me we're as far north as the bottom end of Hudson's Bay, which is why we're such a miserable bunch of sods much of the time.

Roll on Spring (how many hundreds of times have I said that on this blog over the years?) …

Pigeon Party

The quiet beauty of St.James's Park in November.

Wednesday Window On A Thursday - Lulu

Meanwhile … in Burlington Arcade …
"Hey, HWDB! D'you think the girls would like those handbags with the lips?"
Jules considers spending PNG's entire gross national product on two handbags.

Yikes.

Paradise Comes To Town

Hokay … Time to reveal which of our original Blogville neighbours turned up for lunch with Old Dive yesterday.

Here's a hint: if you live here (and she does), where on earth would you go if you wanted to take a break from Paradise?

Yep: you got it: London … In November … Cold, rainy, windy and about as far from Paradise as it's possible to get.
So a big welcome to the Frozen North for the lovely Jules and the almost equally lovely "He Who Doesn't Blog" from Rabaul Daily Photo … who has a name now, but will be referred to today in his original blog ID as HWDB.

And here they are, shivering in front of the Parasite House, having left Paradise in 32 degree Celsius temperatures not long before and arrived in 32 degree Fahrenheit temperatures, well wrapped up against the London weather.
At any other time of year, the bridge over the lake in St.James's Park is a beautiful and romantic place to meet; in November, it's just cold, wet, covered in dead leaves and swan crap and mercifully devoid of tourists … well, apart from this splendid pair.

Here's Jules being Jules. She's even more fun in person than she is on her blog and Facebook. She came bearing gifts, both beautiful and bizarre … more on that another day, however.

Christmas in Paradise and Christmas in the arcades of Piccadilly are two quite different affairs, so it's nice to do both (this weekend I'm buying a lottery ticket as it's the only chance I've got of a return visit).

HWDB - as well as being witty, charming and doing an astonishingly spectacular coffee-juggling, erupting volcano impersonation, is also eagle-eyed; he spotted the PNG High Commission which I've walked past a thousand times without realising it's there.
Home from home.

Jules and HWDB are here for only a short time before flying off to warmer climes; this time Barcelona, where I'm sure they'll have a fabulous time (as well as recover from the cold).

So thank you both for a really great fun visit and for my fantastic prezzies. Have a great time in Catalunya and remember to change out of your arctic clothes before getting off the plane back in Paradise.
I love it when blogs collide.

Photographers: Beware of Pigeons

Back in London today for some meetings; one of which will hopefully be a lot more fun than the others. At lunchtime, on the very spot from which I took this photo of Whitehall - complete with speeding pigeon - I shall be meeting one of our original Blogville residents (sadly no longer blogging and sorely missed).
I wonder who it shall be …

WTF Monday - Adult Delivery Truck

Kids have ice cream vans; now it seems someone is catering for more adult tastes: gimp suits, chains and paddles delivered discretely to your door.

Where children once shouted "Mum! The ice cream van's here!" we now have middle-aged women yelling over the fence to their neighbours "Hey, Arlene! The Fifty Shades Truck is here!"

Oh, and don't get me started on the misplaced apostrophe …

Stained Glass Sunday - Camelot

Saturday Statuary - Shiny Plastic Art; Shiny Plastic People

Friday Blah

It's Friday and I want to get on my bike and ride away for the weekend. I'll probably be spending it in the office again, however. Fridays have been losing their sparkle of late.
Whatever you're doing this weekend, enjoy it. You could be stuck in an unheated office like me.

Car Porn Thursday - Merc

Continuing the theme set last Thursday: this is what a Mercedes Benz car ought to look like.

Yet it doesn't.

Not by a long way.

Mercs these days are dull slabs of mediocrity.

They do try (if you're rich enough) but not very hard.

 If you pay more than most people will earn in a lifetime you can get one that has little features taken from this classic model nailed onto an ugly slab. It has no elegance or beauty; it is merely a modern car that someone in styling has tried to improve by tacking on some 'retro' detailing.

Why not make one that looks like this?

Eh?

 Or even this?
The last Merc with any dignity was built in the sixties.

What is wrong with these people?

Wednesday Window - Palace of Westminster

A Grumpy Old Man Writes …

Guess who's fifty-smegging-four today …
Yup.
And I'm grumpy as hell.
I get to spend my birthday driving to bloody Birmingham (the real one, not the one in Alabama) and my special birthday treat is attending an all day convention on dementia care home design.
Then I'll drive all the way back and fall into bed.
Party!
Not.