Saturday Statuary

I'm sure I'll be fine running around the garden naked, just so long as I don't trip over anythi …
Shitshitshitshitshit!

Friday Morning Wood

Wednesday Window

WTF Monday - Why We Study The Classics

It's all there:

the penis, the headband, the suggestively positioned frankfurter, the begging turtle … er …

I've trawled Ovid's Metamorphoses and come up blank. You gotta help me here.

Saturday Statuary - Eat The Baby

Very few people these days appreciate just what an excellent source of protein babies can provide.

Babies … the other, other white meat.

Friday Morning Wood

Wednesday Window - World Wide Web

Let's Build It Here

Folk saw things differently during the Industrial Revolution. We see a slight dip with a little puddle at the bottom; they saw a raging torrent at the foot of a precipitous gorge and built accordingly.

WTF Monday - WTF?

I genuinely had no idea what the fuck this was until Phil told me.
Now I'm left with a fat dose of "WHY the fuck?"

The world is stranger than your dreams, people, and the folk who live there stranger still.

Stained Glass Sunday - George and the Chicken Snake Bat Goat

"I, Saint George, in my shiny blue armour and my wings like a parrot and my totally manly yellow knitted miniskirt;
I tread on you, dragon, because you are very silly and you have a chicken's head."
True story.

Epic

You've probably seen this already, but I'm sticking the link on here so I can watch it again whenever I feel the need.
Here it is.
Any Family Guy fans out there will know all about the giant chicken fights. Well it turns out two stuntwomen got the awesome notion to act out and film the original chicken fight scene.

Matrix? Pah! Bruce Lee? Tish and pshaw! These two supergals have made what is beyond all shadow of a doubt the greatest fight scene ever filmed and it's hilarious.

Enjoy.
Oh, and do watch the movie of them planning and talking about it. It's a hoot.

Friday Morning Wood

Wednesday Window

Another one from Phil and Dawn's Guest Photographer Session.

Spiffy, huh?

WTF Monday - When The Mile High Club Goes Bad

This is what happens when a couple of cute vintage Gloster Meteors listen to Barry White, drink too much wine and then don't remember a thing in the morning. Except one of them set a camera up to take a selfie and this is the result.
Never … ever … set up a camera to take a selfie.

Stained Glass Sunday - Storyboard

Mediæval stained glass wasn't just decorative; it had a purpose to serve. Back then, if you didn't speak Latin you wouldn't know what the hell the service was all about, so the church provided pictures.

Not sure which part of the scriptures this one's supposed to depict, but reading from top to bottom I'd guess something along the lines of:

And the big guy saith "Dude! Check it out, man; I'm sitting here with all these giant red peaches an' shit."
And the lady in the nightie saith "Whatever. I mean you should have seen it! Like, it was THIS big!"
And the man with the bloody sword spake thus: "Endangered species, my ass! I can get at least a dozen designer handbags outta your hide."

If you're in church today, check out the stained glass and see what tales it has to tell.

Guest Photographer Time

You may or may not have noticed that I'm going through another one of those "really can't be arsed to switch on the bloody computer, let alone post stuff on my blog" phases.
So until somebody hands me a big bag of motivation I'm passing the baton to Phil and Dawn, who've been playing with their cameras up in the desolate wastes of the North.
To kick off: here's a photo of an arcade of gothic arches at Fountain's Abbey … done in grass.

You Lookin' At Me?

WTF Monday - Hanging Chad

Well, that pretty much sums it up for the state that gave us Jeb Bush, hanging chads, voter registration fraud on an industrial scale, and of course, these:
Florida cooking,
Florida take-out,
Florida sex,
and Florida sporting achievements.
The Guardian last week printed a picture of the USA showing all the major rivers.
Pretty cool, until you realise there are no major rivers in southern Florida.
Er …
Cock.

Stormy Saturday

Well actually, it was stormy Friday out of the office window, but we're due pretty much the same thing today.
We've got no real mountains closer than Poland so we don't see proper mammatus clouds here like Ms.M has up in the Rockies. This is the closest we get; kind of fried egg boobs bubbling under the thunderclouds.

It's way over thirty degrees here (that's up around a hundred for the Colonials, with about the same percentage humidity … blech) as I write this and we've not had rain so much as warm sweat falling in great, splatty torrents out of the clouds. Some boffo lightning, though I'm too slow to get photos of it so you'll just have to imagine it.
Happy weekend, one and all.

Friday Morning Wood

Car Porn Thursday - Trippy Trailer