A Bag Of Handguns And A Nasty Twitch

Look out. He's going off on one …

After my gripe in yesterday's comments about screeching fucking kids invading my quiet commuter train, Lynn told me how she had been driven out of Morrison's by a screaming, whining kid and its doting and indulgent parent.
Ooooh … That gets to me, too, like fingernails down a blackboard.

When we were kids and there were adults about, we were "seen but not heard" and we only spoke "when spoken to" (God, what bliss that would be on my commuter train). The rest of the time we could have as much fun as we could stand, but we had a fear of adults much like our fear of God and so respected them.
And they cared for us and spent time with us, too.
My Mum taught me to read and write before I started school; this week came the news that most kids are still illiterate when they start high school.

These days, the moronic parents don't actually seem to want the screaming brats they squirt out.
Today's teens have way more hormones than brain cells and they sprog out too young and for the wrong reasons ("If I get pregnant I can keep my boyfriend, and get on the council list for a free flat"). Then they whine to the world that they want to go out and have "fun" instead of being stuck indoors with a screaming kid so they park the brat in front of a bloody TV and feed it junk food all through its formative years while they go out binge-drinking and fucking in their own vomit, leaving trails of chlamydia around the city centres.

We end up with drooling imbecile teenage parents who "can't be bothered" and their hyperactive, bullying kids who have no social skills other than the screaming tantrum. It is way too late to save these brats from becoming anything other than brainless, drunken, fag-breathed breeding farms for more of the same.

No wonder we're going to Hell in a fucking handcart.

Hey! Here's a completely new idea: only have a kid if you are prepared to love it, teach it, interact with it and care for it responsibly (look at Lynn and Maria and Robyn, parents from the last generation who actually wanted their kids and whose kids are a sheer delight).

Right!
Before I board the train with a bag of handguns and a nasty twitch, here is Dive's new rule:
Considering the responsibility they are taking on, prospective parents should be tested and screened before they are allowed to breed, and any broody teenage morons should be sterilised or simply culled and used as landfill or fertiliser.

You know it makes sense.

Any newbies had better read this, too.

Arse

I'll steer clear of gun control and the human condition this morning; there are enough shouty, ignorant people on the radio and TV trying to defend the indefensible.
I'm depressed enough as it is.
I can't be arsed to write about it; just click on the label link under this crappy post.
The sooner global warming and viral pandemics wipe every last one of us fuckers off the planet, the better.

Hi. My Name Is Dive And I Want To Kill You

Oh, bugger!
He's having another one of his turns …

Well, it's been a while since I've been grouchy, so here we go.

Robyn asked us to complete the sentence:
"The World would be much nicer if …"
… to which I replied "there were no people in it."

By which I don't just mean all those pathetic bores shouting into their mobile phones on the train to let me know how worthless their lives are.
I mean all of us.
Even all those cute Japanese girls in bikinis …

"Hi. My name is Dive and I want to kill you."

S'true.
Not just you, but your parents, your children, everyone you know and love, that bloke standing over there, Christina Ricci, Bono (definitely Bono) and everyone else, including (and especially) me.
If someone gave me a button to push that would guarantee the death of every single human being (probably best to take out the higher apes as well, to prevent it all happening again), then I'd jam my finger down on that sucker so hard!

Save the planet at a stroke. The ultimate good deed for Mother Earth.
Give it a few thousand years for things to balance up again and the world would be oh, so much nicer.
Listen up.
A sunset or a waterfall doesn't need some dickwad looking at it to be beautiful.

So let's kill us all! Do the planet a favour.
If anyone out there has a virus or some biological weapon they're afraid to use, just give it to me. As long as it's guaranteed to wipe us all out I'll happily be the first to take it.

Here ends grouchy old Dive's happy message for the day.