Look out. He's going off on one …
After my gripe in yesterday's comments about screeching fucking kids invading my quiet commuter train, Lynn told me how she had been driven out of Morrison's by a screaming, whining kid and its doting and indulgent parent.
Ooooh … That gets to me, too, like fingernails down a blackboard.
When we were kids and there were adults about, we were "seen but not heard" and we only spoke "when spoken to" (God, what bliss that would be on my commuter train). The rest of the time we could have as much fun as we could stand, but we had a fear of adults much like our fear of God and so respected them.
And they cared for us and spent time with us, too.
My Mum taught me to read and write before I started school; this week came the news that most kids are still illiterate when they start high school.
These days, the moronic parents don't actually seem to want the screaming brats they squirt out.
Today's teens have way more hormones than brain cells and they sprog out too young and for the wrong reasons ("If I get pregnant I can keep my boyfriend, and get on the council list for a free flat"). Then they whine to the world that they want to go out and have "fun" instead of being stuck indoors with a screaming kid so they park the brat in front of a bloody TV and feed it junk food all through its formative years while they go out binge-drinking and fucking in their own vomit, leaving trails of chlamydia around the city centres.
We end up with drooling imbecile teenage parents who "can't be bothered" and their hyperactive, bullying kids who have no social skills other than the screaming tantrum. It is way too late to save these brats from becoming anything other than brainless, drunken, fag-breathed breeding farms for more of the same.
No wonder we're going to Hell in a fucking handcart.
Hey! Here's a completely new idea: only have a kid if you are prepared to love it, teach it, interact with it and care for it responsibly (look at Lynn and Maria and Robyn, parents from the last generation who actually wanted their kids and whose kids are a sheer delight).
Right!
Before I board the train with a bag of handguns and a nasty twitch, here is Dive's new rule:
Considering the responsibility they are taking on, prospective parents should be tested and screened before they are allowed to breed, and any broody teenage morons should be sterilised or simply culled and used as landfill or fertiliser.
You know it makes sense.
Any newbies had better read this, too.
28 comments:
I can see where you're coming from with this and agree, but it doesn't just seem to be teenage parents who are guilty from what I've experienced. The other day we had to negotiate our way around four kids standing adjacent to each other in the supermarket aisle because the jolly nice middle class parents thought that it might upset them to ask them to move out of the way. When we were kids we were always told "move out of the way so the lady/man can get past", but presumably that's tantamount to violation of a child's rights in this day and age ... bah ...
Oh, and don't get me started on the sort of people who insist on taking their toddlers into restaurants, allowing them to run around, throw food about, scream, fight, etc.
Great rule, Dive. How do we get that turned into active legislation?
This problem of neglected and poorly behaved kids crosses all boards, it seems. It doesn't matter how wealthy or educated or mature the parents are. If they don't want their kids, the rest of us have to wade through the feral monsters.
Yup.
And at half term and school holidays I have to sit quietly on the train for seven hours a day without being allowed to kill them or their moron parents.
Life's so unfair.
It makes sense.
What's needed are conviction politicians who are prepared to impose things on us which actually make a difference, rather than all jostling around in the centre, afraid to do anything unless it's popular with everyone. Then again, not one of us wants a Robert Mugabe. I'd vote for you, Dive.
Hee hee, Pea.
The thought that you'd vote for me, even though you know my "Death To Humans" views better than most, will cheer me on my shrieking kid-filled train ride home.
Lets adopt your rule and put me out of a very tiresome and thankless job.
Yup.
More time for you to chill by the river and hunt down dead guys.
Ah but my dead guy quest ends in three weeks and then just who shall I entertain you with on fridays. I'm way open to suggestions here.
Your post is actually on the same track as my thinking, I'm over trying to solve the problems of the fuck you generation. I'm thinking of going back to more congenial work with younger kids.
I wanted my children then, just not so much now. Just kidding!
My children were raised with a firm hand and know how to behave. Children screaming in stores and parents either ignoring or coddling them make me want to slap them both. Only once did my children start that shit in a store. A gentle bend of the waist down to eye level and a plastered on smile, speaking through my teeth, they understood the consequences if they continued. Funny it never happened again. It makes me proud when other people notice how polite and well behaved my kids are. Hopefully when they have children they will continue good parenting.
a dear old lady once told me, "you raise your children for others, not yourself." they learned how to behave in public or suffered the wrath of a vengeful parent immediately (not really, i never had to do more than raise an eyebrow)
No more dead guys? Yikes, Kate!
You could always kill some and write about that.
And younger kids are definitely better. Catch 'em young and teach 'em what's right and what's wrong and the fuck you generation disappears.
And Prudence is right. As she points out; aversion therapy works.
When kid is too young to know what's right or wrong, they need guidance.
Same with puppies. If they get a smack on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper whenever they piss on the floor, eventually they'll get the message.
With kids I prefer to use a cattle prod or a dentist's drill.
Savannah: Those were the days.
I would vote for you *because* of your "Death To Humans" views, not despite them.
Hee hee, Pea. That Agent Smith was such a wuss …
Problem is, there is no discipline, no control of the young developing mind, no real role models, insufficient challenges of any diverse nature and far too much indifference in parenting. Who'd be a kid in the 21st century when many come from 3rd and 4th generation unemployed families.
It all started with the invention of the electric light globe. Think backwards ! Thomas Alva Edison never knew what he had started.
I think the big mistake we made was coming down from the trees in the first place, MB.
And you're better off in Oz; you have Sir Les Patterson and Kath and Kim as role models; over here we have Z-list celebrities and the parasitical German royal family parading around in Nazi regalia.
i found the perfect youtube, sugar! ;-)
Savannah, that is too funny.
Get over there and take a look, people.
If I can raise a child, anyone can. It isn't for the faint hearted, but the key is that you nip that shitty behavior in the bud and it stops RIGHT THERE, RIGHT NOW.
What bothers me is that Liv is fascinated with bratty kids. We were at the library a few days ago and there were all these loud book ripping little fuckers everywhere and Liv was watching them with this sort of fascinated horror. She whispered, "Mama, they aren't using their library voices..."
I was itching to bang some heads together that day but their mother looked like the sort of person who would jump out and pistol whip me later in the parking lot.
Since I sort of enjoy living, I just glared...which, no...did not bother them in the least bit.
Chicken shit. I was a chicken shit.
You need to find someone Liv thinks is the un-coolest and most disgusting person in the world and get them to tell her how cool that kind of behaviour is and how much she should be like those kids. Get them to tell her how great cigarettes, booze and drugs are, too.
It's like watching dads dance.
Aversion therapy.
Good luck, Maria. Remember when you were Liv's age and plan your strategy ahead.
This is part of my concern with parenting...what if I suck at it and then Dive has to shoot my kids?
It's something I worry about.
It's something every parent should worry about, T.
Hee hee hee
Don't get me started! This is one of my pet peeves. And also why if I can afford it I go First Class - to avoid them!
I tell my husband all the time, people like that should be neutered and not be allowed to spawn. Seriously, when did good ol' fashioned manners go out of style? And the rights children have in this country. I wouldn't call them rights at all - but...
And my friends ask me why I haven't gone for a teaching job over here (I used to be a uni professor in Manila). I said I'd end up behind bars if I did!
Thanks for visiting Norwich Daily Photo.
joy
Your Love Coach
Thing is, Dive, kids are kids. And they've always been kids. Those tales you tell of getting stoned? Think you were a peach to all those around you?
The only difference is that we're going through an over-correction for a forever of warped suppression of who humans are and what we want.
That said, I still think kids are bratty, and SUV strollers are a curse upon humanity.
Dive, old son;
We have hundreds of old rabbit traps hanging up in barns, everywhere. I'll pop a few over to you, mate.
Should do the trick.
Joy, that is such a refreshing and healthy attitude. I love it!
Sassy: I was always perfect. I still am.
L'enfer, c'est les autres.
MB: Hee hee. Leave 'em on the school run routes. That should keep the numbers down.
Not a bad idea, Dive. Parenting is difficult, hard work and a responsible position. These young things are just not equipped at that age to cope with it all. I agree with all that you said, particularly the compliment about my own boys - thank you, they honestly are a delight and i'm so proud of them - !
I suspect you too have noticed a particular bugbear of mine and not the only thing - spitters. Why do teenagers today SPIT? I mean girls too. They walk along the road, spitting as they go into the street, whether you're right there and walking past or not. Why? WHY? I want to know. It's positively disgusting.
Ew! They do, Lynn.
It's gross.
ahi Dive,
Came here via Scouts blog.
I am with you on this one. Hubby and I witness many incidents as mentioned when we are out travelling on our motorbike.
I must say, especially when sitting eating our icecream and listening to children being told off, we do smile when we hear the wondeful sound of a slap! LOL!
Check my pictures too, should you need a break from the office.
We are based on the North York Moors near Whitby.
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