Criminy!
Old Dive, the man who hates Christmas and never has any decorations or cards or tree and rails against the crass commercial greed-fest with lots of splendid swearing is posting a Christmas advertisement!
Dammit!They've got me cornered.
As anyone who's been listening will know, I design girls' schools for a living.
The girls from Happy House (one of my recent projects) have got together with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to record an album of icky, sing-along festive songs in aid of Unicef.
It's by MY girls - and I can never say no to them - and it's for a good cause, so I can't moan too loudly about commercial crap.
Anybody less grouchy than myself can buy it from Amazon at:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Celebrate-Christmas-Howells-Philharmonic-Orchestra/dp/B000WD66GC
(non UK folk can buy it from Amazon.com).
Yes, I've ordered a copy. I'll give it to Mum. She'll like it.
In case anyone's worried, this is the last happy Christmas post of the season. From now on it's back to the usual misery.
Ho ho fucking ho.
19 comments:
No No No. More happy Christmas posts from Dive, please! If you can't summon the courage, let Stouffer do it.
Am back on line - all those throbbing dreams must have worked!!!!
At least you have cold and ice and maybe snow for Christmas - we have Santas sweating gallons under the blazing summer sun; we eat roast turkey and vegies and drip into our plum puddings; we spray snow on our windows and drip into our beer!!
I wish the whole thing would be cancelled so we could just sit around and just drip into our beer, without all the "Let's pretend we live in merry England where it is cold stuff"
Robyn, if you think I'm grouchy and anti-Christmas, you'll run screaming from Stouffer!
I might just let him out of his box a bit closer to the "season" to teach the world a few new swearwords.
Jules: Glad you're back on the interweb. If you can stand all the swearing and misery, my views on Christmas are splattered all over my archives for last December.
OK, I have a blog challenge here.
I'm not a great fan of christmas either so two posts - Describe your worst christmas nightmare (worst possible scenario for spending christmas) and your ideal christmas scenario since its obviously not going to go away.
Kate: You're on!
Vic: No it is NOT the stupid season until the middle of December; I just got mugged by a bunch of schoolgirls so I had to post the ad.
The supermarkets will tell you different...
Supermarkets are the spawn of Beelzebub, Vic. Only the obese, the undead and the mentally uncertain venture near them.
Ho ho fucking ho.
I like that - it made me laugh out loud. I will be sure to hunt down a copy of this as I do like Christmas music. You can usually find me huming Christmas carols the whole month of December
If I get one of those for Chritmas, you had better file off the sharp corners first.
That way it won't hurt so much when I shove it up your arse.
Bah humbug!!
Let's just stick to the usual Simpsons & Dilbert desk calenders.
Rich, you're a star.
The choir is top notch.
Phil: Even worse; Mum's getting it so you'll have to listen to it when you're over there. Hee hee hee, or should that be ho ho ho.
You're incorrigible - but with a very soft spot for people in need :D
Thanks for visiting Norwich Daily Photo.
joy
Your Love Coach
You know, when you say you're a grouchy commie who doesn't believe in God, people make certain assumptions. But then you start letting schoolgirls boss you around, and the people can't help but snicker. (hee, hee, hee)
what a lovely idea, sugar! you are toooooo cute for words!
All this time I thought you were Ebenezer Scrooge and you were actually Tiny Tim.
God bless us, everyone!
There you go Dive, you something good for Christmas! I knew you had it in you just bursting to come out decked in holly and festive goodness!
I'm a bit humbug myself though, seeing xmas things around - IT'S TOO EARLY !!
Rats, Joy; I'm going to have to work on that soft spot or my curmudgeonly reputation will lay in tatters.
T: "Letting schoolgirls boss me around"? LETTING THEM????
Have you ever been trapped in a stairwell when the bell goes?
Have you ever found yourself alone and at the mercy of a herd of the creatures?
AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH !!!!!!
Whenever I go out to one of our schools I want to tool up with full body armour with a cattle prod and a box of stun grenades.
Schoolgirls en masse are a weapon of mass destruction way beyond the military's worst nightmare.
Brrrrrrrrrrrr …
Savannah: Cute! Eww!
Maria: Bah! Humbug! Scrooge will be back with a vengeance!
Lynn: It is WAY too early, which is why my Grinchiness is not at full strength. Expect bile-filled rants nearer the time.
The only Christmas music I'm able to bear is performed by the Canticle Choir (http://canticlechoir.com/about/about.htm). That, and Rage Against the Machine. But they aren't really Christmas music, they just make me feel all warm and fuzzy and jolly inside.
Bah!
Oh my. I think I'm in shock.
Must sit down. Wait. Am sitting down. Must get back into bed.
Christmas. Dive. Cannot compute.
Hee hee, Fresh: I love RATM too. I can just see our carol singers belting out "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!"
Sassy: It's scary, but not as scary as being threatened by schoolgirls.
I'm still shaking.
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