Groover Again

Another splendid musical meme from the Groover.
You were right, Vic; of course it's going to snare Old Dive.
Inevitably, I've twisted it a bit and added stuff.

Hey ho; here we go …

What music are you currently grooving to?
What, right this minute?
I'm not actually grooving at the moment; I'm chilling. To "Blue In Green", from Miles Davis' "Kind Of Blue" album.
Were I grooving, it would probably be to the same thing the Groover grooves to: some genital stimulation from Medeski, Martin and Wood with John Scofield. Or maybe something sleazy from the Dan twins; Aja or Gaucho.
Intercoursingly groovy, baby …

What music do you chill out to?
Other than the above, The Orb's "Little Fluffy Clouds" is a goodie. That girl's accent never fails to tweak me gently just behind the old scrotum. MMMMMMMMMMMM …
Alternatively, the albums Jann Garbarek made with the Hilliard Ensemble are so chilling they could stop global warming in its tracks (yes, I'm an ECM freak; Mannfred Eicher is a God and only one step down in deity-hood from the mighty Steve Albini … Sheeit, if you're culturally challenged enough not to know who these people are, Google the buggers, then buy all their music).

What, if push comes to shove, is your all-time favorite album?
No need to push; no need to shove.
My all time favourite album is (as you well know) Miles Davis' "Kind Of Blue".
This is invariably followed by:
"What's Going On" - Marvin Gaye
"Blow By Blow" - Jeff Beck
"Hejira" - Joni Mitchell
… and then any one of over eighty gigabytes of compressed crap on my iPod; depending on my mood.
There's bound to be some Steely Dan floating around near the top, and some Beatles, and Bach's Goldberg Variations, Stravinski's Rite Of Spring and side one of Keith Jarrett's Köln Concert.
My top four, however, have remained unchanged for longer than most of you have been alive.

What was the first record you ever bought? And where did you buy it?
The first record ever bought for me was Adam Faith's version of "A Message To Martha" in 1964. Little brother Phil out-cooled me by having Gerry and the Pacemakers' "Ferry 'Cross The Mersey". Good call.

The first L.P. (shit, that sounds so archaic … long-player) I ever bought was The Beatles' "Revolver" album (1966), from Morlings' Music Shop in Lowestoft. Back then I got a tanner a week pocket money (the old sixpence … 2.5 pence since decimalisation) and albums were 17/6. Thirty-five weeks of maniacal saving and it was worth every second. I remember Mum's raised eyebrows at the strange start, and then my heart leaping with joy as the riff from Taxman slammed out of the old radiogram. Sigh …

Which musician have you ever wanted to be?
Like Groover; I only ever wanted to be me.
And I got that wish, so hoorah!

What do you sing in the shower?
I don't sing in the shower. That's a good way of getting a mouthful of shampoo.
I sing as I walk along the Embankment each morning, watching the old Thames flow by.
It's good to see the rush hour joggers veer away from the mad person.
As for what I sing; it depends on my mood. This morning it was pissing down with rain and I ambled along, twirling my brolly and vocally murdering Aretha's "Say A Little Prayer" among others. I also did Patti Smith's "Rock And Roll Nigger", a perennial riverside favourite.
Sing along now: "Out-side of societeeeeee …"

What is your favorite Saturday night record?
For about a hundred and fifty years I've gigged on Saturday nights, so I never got to go out and party (it's a verb if I say it's a verb) … ergo … I have no idea what a Saturday night record might be.
If it means a record that gets me off my fat ass and up and dancing, then it would probably be something like Kanda Bongo Man's classic "Amour Fou", or Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" or just about anything by The Smiths.
Bouncy heaven!

And your Sunday morning record?
Sunday mornings are housework, so something loud and anarchic to drown out the vacuum and the washing machine's spin cycle.
Big Black's "Songs About Fucking", or the Arditti Quartet going apeshit.
My neighbours are really glad I live in a detached house a fair distance away from them.

What music will you have played at your funeral?
"Diamond Dust" off Jeff Beck's "Blow By Blow";
"Somewhere (from West Side Story)" by Tom Waits;
"Sweet Sucker Dance" by Joni Mitchell.
And something silly at the end; perhaps The Banana Splits theme tune.

What records shook you to the core and changed your life forever, and why?
First up has to be Jeff Beck's "Blow By Blow" album from '75.
At that time I was a precocious and arrogant sixteen-year-old virtuoso lead guitarist playing Yes and Focus and Mahavishnu covers; my sole twatty purpose being to humiliate any guitarist I came up against. Then "Blow By Blow" came out and changed everything.
This was the album that taught me "less is more".
This was the album that taught me to express myself through my playing rather than to simply wank off on stage.
This was the album that made me a musician as opposed to an arrogant little twat.
Vic, you're already a musician, but you should buy this. At first listen you might think "what's all the fuss about?" but let it sink in and it will stay with you forever. This is the only album other than "Kind Of Blue" that I have played at least once a week for decades and not a single note has ever sounded stale.
The best album of guitar music ever made.
The drums are good, too; skittering over the surface, deft and slinky.

Next up: Stravinski's "Rite Of Spring".
Whoa, Nellie!
A good little choirboy, brought up singing Handel's Messiah and Verdi's Requiem, listening to pop and rock and jazz and then suddenly I hear the Rite Of Spring and it knocks me clean off the planet.
THIS is what has been missing all my life! THIS is what I always thought music should do to me but it never had. It sent me off into modern and avant-garde territory and I love it here. I'm never going back.

Punk had the same effect; Patti Smith and The Clash exploded onto my turntable when I was seventeen. A good year for all sorts of reasons.

Last up; after my lost decade (80s to 90's) when I was stuck inside Satan's arse, living with Ming the Menstrual, I heard Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and it reminded me that I was alive.
The creature known as Dive was born then, from the burnt out wreckage of my plane-crash previous life.

What truly crap record do you really love?
Mary Hopkin's "Those Were The Days."
If you don't get up and drunkenly sing and dance around the room to this then you have no soul.
It's great for Cossack line-dancing at parties.
Try it.
Drink lots first.

What's the last album you bought (be truthful rather than cool)?
"The Bairns" by Rachel Unthank and the Winterset.
Four hefty Scouse gals singing folk songs in their front room.
Sublime.

I could make this meme go on forever but I really do have to get on with some work.
Toodle Pip.