In their infinite wisdom, the government's BIM Task Group has informed us that we will be required to change our BIM classification system to Uniclass 2.
So far, so whoop-di-do.
Did I say "infinite wisdom"? What I meant to say was infinite incompetence.
BIM - as any fule kno - stands for Building Information Management and is a subject somewhat duller than watching cardboard biodegrade.
Uniclass 2 is a system of classification that governs the legislation, restraints, etc. regarding any and all activities that can affect a building's design, f'rinstance: the distance you need to leave at the top of a stair before you allow a door to open onto the landing and knock someone down the steps in an amusing fashion.
It replaces an almost identical classification system for no sane reason, but the changeover to Uniclass 2 will be a monumental, tedious and expensive business. We know this because the previous classification system recently replaced another almost identical system causing several people to chew off their own legs in frustration.
The classification system governs the kind of things you need to know to design a room for a specific use.
There are, however, hidden gems within the classification lists and I only wish my own architectural projects involved more of these.
I include a selection below, together with their new classification references. Mayhap you would like to write a short story or poem incorporating them all.
Maybe not …
Ac 20 20 96 War Room Activities
Ac 20 87 63 Frisking
Ac 20 87 86 Strip Searching
Ac 20 95 96 Waiting
Ac 25 35 03 Animal Holding
Ac 25 50 90 Touching Living Creatures
Ac 25 90 59 Orienting to Mecca
Ac 25 95 10 Burial Under A Church
Ac 25 95 13 Circumcising
Ac 25 95 14 Walking Under Cover
Ac 25 95 15 Confessing
Ac 25 95 90 Treasure Storing
Ac 30 20 24 Dungsteading
Ac 30 40 18 Cheese Maturing
Ac 30 40 80 Slaughtering
Ac 35 50 38 Homeless Eating
Ac 35 50 85 Suicide Watching
Ac 35 70 17 Corpse Observing
Ac 35 70 72 Remembering
Ac 35 80 95 Urinating
Ac 35 90 37 Hippotherapy
Ac 40 05 17 Contemplative Strolling
Ac 40 05 23 Dodgem Car Driving
Ac 40 85 82 Splashing
Ac 45 10 49 Living
Ac 65 10 31 Formal Pausing (Indoor)
Ac 84 80 05 Arriving
Ac 84 90 80 Spacecraft Maintaining
Pr 20 29 57 12 Captive Nuts
If you ever wondered why I am like I am perhaps this will help clear things up.
