Sigh … Why do I go into Norwich every saturday morning?
It's always the same …
"The city is where the women are at!" I hear you cry.
Well, that's as maybe. But other than a smile from a lady in the coffee shop when I gave her my Guardian Review (she had been ogling it covetously, but hey, I've got a great ass; why wasn't she ogling that?), the place was pretty much a date-free zone.
As usual, I met Phil, caffeinated myself, soaked it up with a croissant and hit the bookshops. What a sad fucking excuse for a life.
Two hefty bags of books and a DVD later and I'm coming home, dateless as always, to start the weekend's housework.
I even tried a different coffee shop.
Coffee: Very good indeed.
Croissant: Middling and slightly greasy to the touch.
Free Paper: Today's Guardian already split into parts so I could nick the Review without scattering paper everywhere (Why do they always put that poxy "Family" section inside the Review? Literary Review readers don't have families. Is it just to rub that fact in our faces)?
Seats: Good selection; we chose "comfy" for our old arses.
Air con: too cold for Phil, just right for me.
Women: Mostly couples; one or two frumpy thirty-somethings (including the smiley one). No bookish looking literary/arty types for poor old Dive.
Overall: Probably go there again, but not regularly.
Unusually, the bookshops were totty-free. All the girls must still be frantically buying shoes in the New Year sales.
So … Coloureds in the washing machine; drag the hoover out of the understairs cupboard; here comes my drudgy old weekend.
I think I'll stop using the label: "Dating" and use "Not Dating instead".
Roll on monday.
21 comments:
No, no Dive you're going about it with the wrong attitude. Dragging your sorry arse to one more coffee shop to meet no-one is the way you see it. Decide that in your mind before you even get there and it's sure to play out.
Also maybe having in your mind the phrase 'i've got a great butt' might have come across to the lady as "heyyyyy....(gravelly voice with neck jewellery and stuck on chest hair)... doncha know i have a great ass...?" which may have been a downer too. lol. you think?
Being with Phil might be a laugh but probably not the best way to meet a girl. Go on your own now and then. Cut down on the housework. Do the minimum now ; quick hoover clean kitch and bathroom and that's it - and then and go out again this afternoon - to that country pub i suggested - have a quiet drink at the bar, talk to people. Somewhere new, different village. Relax and don't go with lady-shopping in mind. Same thing tomorrow. Not roll on Monday, Dive, no. Enjoy.
Nearly came up to Norfolk myself this weekend - my parents are coffeeing in Wymondham right now - could have met you myself for the same. Just for fun. Wouldn't have helped your cause being seen with another woman though!
Love your comment at my blog today btw. Unexpected and made me laugh like - well like i was laughing hard.
Hefty is a brand name for large sturdy garbage bags here in the states--when you have a big job to clean up, you buy a box of Hefty. So the image you walking away with two huge leaf bags full of books is quite funny. And the image of the Frazier and his brother sitting in the coffee shop with those books is even funnier.
Well, at least you can vacuum. I haven't been able to haul mine out of the closet all week, but I am deteremined--today is the day. Sing that KD Lang tune while you clean, and the time will go faster. I sing it, too.
Lynn, I have to get my whites, coloureds and bedlinen washed dried and ironed (where applicable), do all the hoovering, dusting and polishing, clean the car, do the gardens, shop, cook, re-arrange stuff anally, scrub the bathroom, air the place, destroy and rebuild the kitchen, get stuck inside a duvet cover, visit friends and relatives, play gigs, plus any reading, movies or blogging, all in the weekend. I have no time during the week.
That's why mondays are so nice. My weekends are frantic. And I have to do it all myself.
So no nice afternoons cruising the village pubs (or looking at swans).
And my saturday breakfasts are about the only quality time I get with my brother (who is indeed a very good laugh).
I wasn't lady-shopping; I was book shopping (as always), but I try to keep an eye out.
Gosh, this all sounds a bit defensive and ranty.
Wymondham's nice, but my brother's ex lives there so it's a no go area, I'm afraid.
Now I've got that off my chest, I'm off to the bathroom with a bottle of Harpic and a loo brush.
Hi, Robyn. Yes, it's a lovely song to vacuum to. I'm glad you're feeling better, but not so glad that you're well enough to do the chores.
And the Crane boys pretty much describes Phil and me. Hee hee.
Awwwwwww Divey Boy...I think that's SO sweet (& sexy!) that you & your brother are close...nothing like a good sibling relationship!
Well, yeah, there IS...but we won't dwell on that today! How's the Hoovering coming along...and hey! I just did my toilet here in the downstairs bathroom! We did it simultaneously!!! Isn't THAT something! ;)
Putting any concrete, steel & wallboard together today? ;)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
HI LYNN!
HI ROBYN!
Sigh... I know what you mean. I've looked for literary men in coffee shops and bookstores and have consistently disappointed. I am convinced that men around here never really venture out of their homes, except to the secret meetings they have to claim that they have a social life.
Don't know what to tell you.
My sheets and towels are in the wash. I've done the dishes and straightened up. Now I'm going to read blogs, pay bills, and hope to heaven that something fun's going on tonight. I'm going a bit stir crazy.
Simultaneous loo cleaning?
That's kinda … er … odd.
Hey, Lynn!
I took your advice (don't faint).
I took a breather, changed and drove over to Ranworth Maltseters, a lovely pub overlooking the broad.
(Dress was black sweater, black 501s and black Converse hi-tops … I like black).
There were two guys playing darts and some ducks out by the broad.
So I had a coffee and drove home again.
Please don't tell me I dressed wrong. I didn't really fancy either of the dart players … or indeed the ducks (no swans about).
Plenty of fun going on over here, Sassy … if you like ironing and washing up.
Ah - the Family section.
My heart sank when it first appeared, and I considered writing a Very Angry Letter.
But that 'Living With Teenagers' bit is pure joy for us non-breeders. In the highly unlikely event that i ever feel a maternal twinge, I'm sure a couple of lines will soon sort me out.
Yup. That, and other people's kids.
That's one of the nice things about sitting in a coffee shop window during the January sales; seeing the "love" between swearing, slapping parents at the end of their tether, and their screaming, shrieking brats.
Ahh … the quiet life.
Divey, your clothes sounded perfect-mmmmmmm--black, very alluring....now maybe if you'd have rescued that poor broad from those crazed ducks! ;)
Hee hee.
I'm really not a fan of ironing. Hee hee. But you have fun.
Ugh. I can't get motivated to do anything. It's gray and ick out (and still way too hot for this time of year). Still, I feel like a slug, so I'm trying to get psyched up to go outside.
You feel like a slug?
I can get you one of those.
Little buggers have spent the summer chewing through my hostas.
Hope you fund some fun tonight, Sassy.
As for me: I'm knackered from housework and don't have a gig to play or to go see, and it's blowing a howling gale outside, so I'll just veg out on the sofa with a DVD then take a book to bed.
It's not the right weather for failed dating and I really don't feel like flying over to New England to find a pretty girl.
I really think you should post an arse shot...waddya think...have a camera? ;) Just add it to your things to do post-DVD! SORRY! HAD too much caffeine!
I've not been drinking, Ame, so the nice naked shot of my bot stays firmly unposted.
I may well bring it along in Feb, though … Hee hee.
Ooooooooooooooo-oo-oooooo...might have to get the blog "police" approval first! HEEHEE! ;) I'm looking forward to this trip more every HOUR! SHEEESH! =)
Well Dive you sound blackly acceptable i reckon. Nothing wrong with your dress, though trousers might have been better. Wa ha ha.
I'm really glad you went to the country pub i so am! The fact that it wasn't successful today doesn't mean it won't be, ever. Go again. I bet too it provided you with something different at least anyway. Next time you might see more people and get talking, especially when they see you come in as a repeat customer.
So Wymondham's out. Loads of other places! I'll give you a shout when i'm next there. Great that you and Phil have a great relationship. I do with my brother too but it's on the phone, we're miles apart.
Housework: not essential to spend ages on car every weekend. Trip to car wash will do sometimes surely. Same with anal re-arranging. Ooh that sounds too painful. As long a it's clean and you have clothes to wear, do it and move to next activity. I too do everything on my own with a son's stuff in addition. Some corners have to be cut sometimes to make sure you get other things done. This afternoon i went to my local, saw lots of people i hadnt seen for ages, got an invitation to a shoot and had a laugh. Yes it means that tonight i have to finish cleaning rather than relaxing, but this pm was good. x hope it works.
hey dive, have you tried getting a nice furry stuffed animal?
Lynn: I give in. See my next post.
As for a car wash; my car is a lovely metallic black and there's NO WAY I'm going to let hose shitty plastic brushes put those nasty little marks in the finish.
Fussy AND anal! That's me.
And Rich; yes, I find a nice dead chinchilla gives the car a lovely finish.
Perhaps it's me who should be giving in Dive. I tried, God knows i tried! lol.
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