Well, the wind's dropped and my house is still here (more than I can say for the garden).
It took me an hour and a half to do the twenty minute drive to Japanese class last night, and today I'm working from home because a twig blew on to the rail track yesterday and they're still running around like headless chickens, waving their arms and wailing rather than providing a train service.
I can actually see a patch of blue sky out across the fields and everything looks calm and normal. But it was a particularly nasty storm; eleven people woke up as ghosts this morning. Not good.
Moving on to today's reason to be grumpy; it has come to my attention that a lot of you tend to punctuate your comments with acronyms, such as "lol" or "lmfao". Indeed Lynn (a highly literate woman) yesterday used "rofl".
Pray be more considerate to a pedantic middle-aged man. Whenever one of you uses an acronym, this poor old soul has to look it up on Google.
So would one of you please be so kind as to post a dictionary of these strange acronyms so I know what the hell you are talking about?
I rather suspect that this acronym-frenzy stems from Text Speak, that appalling grunt-language of the illiterate chav.
As you know, I do not and will not have anything to do with mobile phones. I hate telephones with a vengeance and the thought of paying good money to own a telephone that FOLLOWS ME AROUND gives me the vapours (HERE is my definitive statement on the subject).
Consequently, I know nothing of Fkng Txt Spk, other than that the type of "person" who uses it dresses in a hoody, sweatpants and baseball cap, and is a heavily pregnant, binge drinking drug abuser at the age of eleven.
And as for "emoticons" … Please don't get me started …
So a plea to those of my dear (and apparently literate) blogpals who insert acronyms and emoticons into comments: either cease and desist or at the least provide me with a dictionary/glossary of these Neanderthal abominations.
Ooh! Quick change of subject: Pop over to Ame's blog if you want to see something cool and fun! Hee hee …
37 comments:
Good morning, Dive. Just finished my eggs & bacon, so here I am. I absolutely love my cell phone. If I leave the house, and it isn't in my pocket, I search through my bag and the car and then run back into the house to see where I might have set it. Just yesterday, I met a friend at the grocery store to help him buy dinner for his wife, and I was happy to have my handy phone to find out why he wasn't where I thought he should be. Also, my land line is malfunctioning, so without my cell phone, I coudln't call the freaking Verizon people and their freaking (and creepy)automated system to ask for help.
And about text messaging, while some people use short hand, I insist on typing every single word out in full. It takes forever, and my pals are left with message they have to scroll through. But so what. If they want cryptic messages from, then they are sool
Good morning, Robyn.
I'm so glad you type your messages out in full.
As for phones, i was at my happiest when I lived in a house without a telephone for four years. I had to walk to a phone box if I needed to use a phone (and in four years, I never did).
Even now, I have my phone on mute. My friends simply pop round if they want to see me. Much nicer chatting face to face over a cup of coffee.
Here's a good rule:
If it's not worth popping over to a friend's house and saying personally, then it's probably not worth saying in the first place.
Your cryptic message leaves me baffled, by the way …
Monsieur, I totally concur with your opinion on crap, abbrevated, jingoistic kindergarten jargon.
I much prefer builing site jargon. I once, when an architecture student, worked on the Sydney Opera House just after the dismissal of the great Jørn Utzon. Here, communication was either using a postman's whistle to direct the tower crane driver to dump me with a load of precast conc. components into the Harbour, or a mixture of anglo-Saxon adjectives (we only ever used the one), to describe accurately a favourite pneumatic jack hammer or Italian mate's girlfriend.
I am sending you a little light reading re Kadinsky tucker, cobber.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/main.jhtml?xml=/travel/2000/10/23/etpaddy2.xml
Didn't want to worry Lynn with any negativity on her own doorstep so to speak.
I thought the cryptic message would be a stumper. I made it up, I guess. (shit out of luck).
I would much rather talk to people face to face and have a leisurely personal chat, but during the day, it usually isn't possible. Some of my best friends are school teachers, and we will text back and forth during their lunch breaks or off hours.
With one friend, a percussionist, we keep track of dying celebrities and text them as they die in threes. Very morbid. We tried keeping track of birthdays instead, but it's much less interesting.
You know, the Amish use pay phones. There's a connection for you.
Wait, I just read my note, and it sounds as if my pal and I send text messages to the dead celebrities. No, we send text messages to each other ABOUT the dead celebrities.
I think there are a few urban dictionaries and glossaries for emoticons you can find on Google. I occasionally use lol and ;) in an ironic, knowing, post modern way (heh heh), but I hate smileys, being naturally grumpy :( er ... sorry about that.
Never owned a mobile phone, had to use the husband's occasionally to confirm we were late on journeys to visit friends (not surprising - we have to use the M1). We filter out any unwanted phone calls with one of those phones that shows you the number dialled. It has a different ringtone if it's someone on your friends and family list. Well worth having.
hey dive, i was going to leave a wee list here, but it's too long so i shall refer you to this website. bookmark it, my friend, and [Ctrl f] to yer heart's content to understand what the young-ens are talking about these days.
i, too, hate phones, but i love technology. i will rarely answer my phone - hey, that's why message bank was invented - but my phone is so much fun: it has games; gps tracking system; internet and email; camera and video camera; radio (all in japanese); along with all the usual stuff like music player, voice recorder, etc. it's more like a toy than a communication tool.
did you take the tokes photos to class last night? i have heard about the mad weather there. hope no one else becomes ghost-like. stay high and dry, mate.
btw, omg, robin. lol. u rok. :D:D
er, sorry! robYn
Those acronyms predated the mobile. They were used in the early days of e-mail. Personally, I'm with you. I don't like them. I write out complete sentences when I send text messages.
I didn't laugh out loud, laugh my ass off, or roll around on the floor laughing, but I did get a chuckle.
Hang in there. It sounds like the storm's almost over. It does sound like a nasty one.
Welcome, M. Benaut.
That's a great story about the opera house. Was it the jackhammer that was pneumatic or your Italian mate's girlfriend?
And luckily, the Kandinsky's a seven hour drive away so I won't be eating there!
Robyn: Love your "s.o.o.l."
I don't mind these acronyms as long as I know what they mean. And sending text messages to dead celebrities is a hilarious idea! What a shame you had to correct that.
Kudos to the Amish for not using mobiles.
Betty: You're the most consistently funny "grumpy" person I have ever encountered. Long may you grump.
I almost got one of those phones like yours, but you have to pay for that service and I'm a miserly old git. Plus, I like my crappy old seventies phone because it's the only one I've found with a "mute bell" switch on it.
G.G. Thanks for the link, though I'm a Mac man, so [Ctrl f] does fuck all on my computer. Your phone sounds like something that would scare the shit out of me. If I had one and it made a noise I'd probably scream and throw it in the river.
Mayuko loved your Tokyo shots (and also the onigiri I brought in for her [apple for the teacher]). Can't wait for your own Tokyo panoramas.
Hey there, Sassy. The nasty storm has gone away to play with Germany and Poland (where it's still making ghosts). Tomorrow we are due to have nice gentle 60mph winds, followed by the white stuff. Poor Ame really did pick the wrong time to visit, hee hee.
OK, is this the acro party? Yaaaaawn...
AGVROSANGSHAITWSSJBSOL!
ROFLMAOPMPTIMESCOMN!!!!
Back for more fun later children...I have a bod to shower, kids to kick outta bed, lunches to pack and lessons to teach!
Ta! =)))
er … Thank you, Ame.
I'm not even going to think about trying to unravel that lot, though they did produce a big grin.
Long range weather forecast says it's gonna be COOOOOLLLD later this month, but knowing their accuracy, bring a sunhat and a bikini (and your cool unicycle).
:D!!!
Shall I bring my fanny pack too?
I'm OUTTA HERE!
Mind the fort Divey Boy!
Just remember to pack your fanny … er …
Don't wear a bumbag thing (if that's what you mean by "fannypack") as they just scream "I'm a tourist; rob me"!
sorry, i forgot you were a macman. [Command f] will do the same thing (search the page you are on).
i just stumbled across this webpage and thought you might like it. it kinda gives some perspective on the whole life hoo-ha. i've just set it as my new desktop background, which was, er, previously black. not such a giant leap for mankind, but a small step for me.
look out for some very average photos of the tokyo skyline appearing on a blog near you.
Monsieur, thanks for your kind welcome. I've been splitting my sides with your obtuse slants on reality and your asymptotic perceptions. A most welcome breath indeed.
As a Mac user also, I would like to know if Mac Bloggers use "Picasa" to post photos. I can't get it to work, but as you do not post photos perhaps someone out there may front-up with a clue. My Adelaide Daily Photo Blog has ground to an ignominious halt. I feel that ALL photo bloggers are PC users.
( And the Italian girl was real but the chap was pneumatic, from the south you know! )
I share your total disgust and/or mild disdain for acronymic cyber flotsam dive. Nobody really rolls around on the floor laughing their asses off. Well not on my blog they don't.
Tee hee, GG. That's a great link.
Made me think of Douglas Adams' Total Perspective Vortex.
By the way, I've got your big Tokyo photos alternating as my desktops at the mo.
I'll pop over to your blog in a minute and look for your new ones.
Hi there, M.
One of the guys at work uses Picasa, but it's a real pain in the butt.
I do post the odd photo set (like the London ones a week or two back), but I just load 'em up straight into Blogger from whatever computer I'm using.
Peahen might be able to help. She's a Mac programmer (amongst many, many other things).
Visit her blog "Shiela's Meanderings" in my sidebar, or "Shiela's Evil Software Empire" in my links and ask her.
Hey, folks! Peahen got a rave review in last month's MacFormat for her Meander software. Big Woohoo's all round!
WTF, LOLOL, BRB, TTYL
kewl.
Hi there, Coffeemate!
Any clues yet as to where in the blogoshphere Squantum art has disappeared to? I need my fix!
all these gadgets are part of a large conspiracy to make us all brain dead. good thing you're not falling for it divey.
as for as Squantum art... I have no problem with it. I don't know why you are.
I read about the storm this morning. Holy cats!
I still keep getting "Error 400"s, Rich, even trying from the Beaqntown Caffe.
Blogger UK must be playing the ass-hat. I'll try again tomorrow.
Holy Cats indeed, Sassy. It was decidely crap.
Ah. Well, thanks for the literary description Dive, i do try.
Thing is, yes i do use acronyms now and then, not a lot but its derivation is from texting, yes. Like Robyn i love my phone. Sorry.
The one thing i deplore is the misspelling of words in the attempt to save time when in fact it often only saves one letter. Example is tonite. It's tonight. Generally speaking i'm a fussy old devil with regard to language so Dive i'm with you. Wrongly placed apostrophes drive me wild (sorry Old K, i know you don't care)and i try to get grammar and syntax right i'm an english teacher so it's become habit but let's face it it's not that serious to abbreviate now and then, so long as we all know how it is properly spelt. These days i do worry (oh how old i sound) that young people really do think tonite is correct and probelly will never get it rite. Arrrggh ! In short i agree. lol.
Warren G. Harding. I learned that one in the eighth grade. I hate that "word" too.
Oh Dive, I love it when you get really angry about language and the use of words. It's truly inspiring. C (which means "chuckle" because I"m not actually in the middle of an all out laugh)
ROFLMAOHAS
rolled on floor laughed my ass off had a shite.
c'mon lad get with it, how can you pick up children on Myspace if you don't know the lingo?
I hate it all but sometimes you have to use it as people don't know if you're kidding on-line, I use ;) most often and cringe when I do but it avoids someone getting all shirty because they can't get yer jokes.
You can use it like abuse too. In RL real life you say to yer wife, you're a fat cow, she feels bad, you feel like a big man then you say only kidding!
I think thats like using :) sometimes, you can get away with being a wanker cos thems the rules.
Of course I never call my wives or gurlfiends fat as I'm a gentlemen and know what side my bread is buttered on.
BTW (by the way) not all fat people are jolly.
I used BTW and RL for you as I type them out cos I'm not a lazy shite.
Oh and Peahen with all that meander talk at the start of her posts gets me well excited. So military like.
I'm done.
Knudsen has a point in amongst all that stuff. Sarcasm never comes across well on the internet IMO.
BUWMAA. Back upright with my arse attached.
Sassy: I'll have to start throwing obscure questions your way, history mistress.
Robyn: I love it when you love it!
As for you, Mister K: You are excused any kind of criticism on your use of any language as you tell it like it is.
And DH: If I get sarky at someone and they take offence, then that's their own look out. Much as the occasional emoticon can let someone know your tongue's in your cheek, I've told too many people to shoot me in the head if I ever use one to be able to change my ways now.
That's pretty much the way I feel. Those as don't like it can piss off.
Go for it.
Hi, dive. I'm with you too. I prefer to write in a less formal manner, but I use whole words and can't seem to keep up with the acronym thing.
Here's a bad thing for the english language.
Laughing Out Loud Divey Boy! ;)
I'll DEFINITELY leave my "bumbag" "behind!" ARG-ARG-ARG! ;)
Bikini...only in the privacy of my hotel room...
Unicycle...don't think they'd let me through security with it--I'm pretty sure it's classified as a WMD!
=)))
Thanks, Vic,
That's a scary story.
The world's going to hell in a handcart.
Ame, your unicycle is a weapon of mass distraction.
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