About eighteen months ago I lent him a couple of my beloved guitars and he's got back into playing (after his drum frenzy). Last month he bought a new amp and now he's after a stand. My little mind was whirring … "Am I ever going to get my sodding guitars back?"
So I let him buy his guitar stand while I went over the road to see Dean and Lisa in the comic shop (hey, I'm a single, forty-eight year old guy … it's what we do).
When I got back Phil was ogling some PRS's, Gibsons and Fenders.
Now allow Mister Ranty to step in here for a moment:
I HATE the surly staff in music shops.
If you can play well enough to make a living, you play; if you can't you adopt a snotty attitude toward those that can and you get a job in a music shop.
A bunch of pathetic, whingeing failures who frankly can't play their way out of a paper bag and are probably the world's worst shop assistants (that's right, you jerks; you're fucking shop assistants, not rock stars. Get over it).
I personally don't have an issue with them (other than some nauseating fawning … you know who you are, Scott) as they know who I am and I generally spend way too much money, but they're so fucking rude to parents and kids who are just starting out. Talentless tossers.
Anyhoo … That out of the way, I decide to take Phil up the road to a PROPER music shop to see the "Hello Kitty" Strat I've been eyeing up.
This music shop sells to schools and real people and has brass instruments and tambourines and stuff.
Quick example of why I like it:
When we went in, a girl was patiently explaining stuff about acoustic guitars to a customer who didn't have much of a clue, but unlike "Band music shops", she was telling him the truth, POLITELY and patiently. And all this over a £50 guitar.
While at the same time, the guy behind the counter was playing with a customer's kid and they were having a great time together while the customer browsed.
Nice.
What's wrong with nice?
So we check out the 'Hello Kitty" and in the same rack there's this candy-apple red telecaster that makes me go "OOOOH! LOOKY!"
Two minutes later I'm playing it and I can see this big, shit-eating grin spread over Phil's face.
The guitar plays like a dream, is beautifully set up and looks gorgeous.
Sold to the man with the grin!
Chalk one up for "nice" shop assistants …And here is Mister Candy Apple in Phil's music room, where I've just been playing it again.
Click the photo for bigger porn, Utsav.
So now he's got his own guitar again, I can at last take my missing children home.
And here they are …
Here's my old custom strat. Pearl body, birdseye maple fingerboard with abalone markers on a flame maple neck. Fender Lace Golds with a Bartolini active. Graphite nut with Sperzel Trim-Loks. Vintage Tele knobs and a Kahler Flyer cam trem.This guitar FUCKING ROCKS on stage!
And my old brown Fender Flame from the mid-eighties. Gorgeous and oh so slick to play.
So there you go. Another boring post about guitars, which will only be of remote interest to Utsav and maybe Vic.
Sorry 'bout that, but I'm a guitar player, so that's the way it is.
29 comments:
Add me to that list Divey Boy....LOVE guitar players...Mmmmmmmmm...and I've always wanted to walk up to a cute (present company included!) guitar player and ask to see his Humbucker! ;) Yeah, you're right DB! Think my next "lesson" will have to be on manners! ;)
PS: She's a beauty...that pearly white Strat...really makes me want to pick up and start remembering how to play again...siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...so many things to DO...so little TIME! Come on DB, put more hours in a DAY for littl ol' me! =) HEY! Are ya gonna be doing any gigs while we're over there? If NOT then I'm probably going to have to make you bring one of those babies along so you can provide the entertainment for the evening! ;)
I like the post. You love guitars, and that makes for interesting writing.
That candy-apple red number is sexy.
Have you met jif?
http://jifdumpalliance.blogspot.com/
You two could chat for hours.
Thanks, DH.
I'm supposed to be doing the ironing but now I'm gonna spend hours going through another guitar porn site (sigh).
And I promise to cut down on guitar-related posts. I know how FUCKING BORING guitarists can be … The last thing I want to do when I'm out at a gig is listen to some schmuck drone on about string gauges and tone pots. I just play the fuckers, I don't want to talk about them ALL NIGHT.
Here's fact about guitar players:
After the gig we want to get laid.
After the gig we do NOT want to get swamped by fans and guitar nerds who bore us into unconsciousness then steal all our picks and leads.
Guess which one happens to old Dive all the bloody time …
Are ya gonna give us 4 outta 5 guesses? ;) My "naughty braincell" is in the OFF position so I'm not gonna "pick up" on this one...I'll just "strum" merrily along until someone else gets the correct answer! Walk along the THAMES (pronounced like JAMES?)...cross the Westminster "Bridge" and lose myself in the "harmonics" of all the sights. I'm starting to get all "amped" up about this trip...Please don't "pick" on me DB! ;)
I think we need a new word, Ame. You've outgrown incorrigible.
They're nice. Sorry, but I have no clue about guitars, so I can't post an elaborate comment that would make any sense at all.
They're like French horns, Robyn.
Only less curly and more woody.
And since when did making sense matter on this blog?
Hi Dive!...I am Jif!...Dick Headley pointed me in your direction, so I'm popping by to say hello. No, I'm not going to go on and on 'bout guitars (maybe?)but we do have an interest in common......Jif
Curly & Woody DB? Geeeeeez, you really know how to tease a "naughty-braincell-turned-off" gurl! I can listen to you ramble on all day and night about your intrument...keep going! How about...uuuuummmmmm...virtuous...yeah, that's a good one...for my "word!" ;)
OH! FORGOT TO TELL YOU! Family and I ate Japanese last nite...hamachi, maguro, unagi, CA roll, beef sukiyaki, tempura and a big Sapporo beer! YUM!
Lovely ladies you have there. Great collection, Dive, and this is a post that will surely please Utsav, if he ever comes back to us!
quote; "Are all these your guitars"?
Hi, Jif, and welcome.
I love your site. I've been delving around in it and will continue to do so. It's pure porn for me.
There's a few pics of my guitars and studio dotted around my site, but mostly it's just a cranky old man talking arse with a bunch of strange folk from the colonies.
My keyboard player's also a great lefty guitarist and has some interesting custom guitars. I'll have to see of I can get hold of some pics to post.
Ame: Now I'm hungry again and it's bedtime Doh!
Lynn: Welcome back from what we cana only assume is a weekend of unbridled passion.
Utsav's still about, he's just snowed in in Bhutan with only a dial-up to his name. He'll post when he gets back to Bangalore.
And Rich: This one does indeed go up to eleven …
One louder …
I agree with your rant about some music shops, and I'll add to it. The attitude from some staff can make a learner feel inferior and unwelcome. That just isn't cool. I don't go into a store to show off, I want to see new things and learn new things. And I think the nicer and more helpful the shop, the nicer the customers it attracts. Nothing I hate more than being in an arrogant shop with a self-absorbed customer showing off on a guitar for what seems like hours. It just puts people off, you feel like you can't pick up an instrument and try it out because your not as good as the guy sitting up the back playing.
Sorry, end rant.
Nice guitars, especially the Strat. Congrats to Phil on the tele, it looks a treat.
I'll try to post some of mine (a lot lower on the scale) sometime soon, but I don't actually have my own digital camera, I just borrow others' every now and then.
Yummy guitars. Very.
But the big question???
Who's buried in the urn?
I think even worse is the response a girl gets going into these places. Not every time, but i have experienced it. I don't know much but i'm not a complete novice yet am viewed as if i've arrived to sell sandwiches for their lunch rather than to look at some guitars. Thinking that i may be seriously interested or, more amazingly might be able to play a bit("oh right, well yeah, have a look. If you want to know how they sound, one of us can play it for you. Just ask." groan.) doesn't seem to occur to them.
Thanks for the welcome back Dive, too. Yes it was a fun weekend. Did quite a lot of exercise actually.. rather achey...
Morning Divey Boy! I see you're making your blog rounds...so what's on the blog post agenda for today...you always titillate! ;)
Lynn, we JUST don't wanna KNOW...we don't wanna KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
OK, details...we want DETAILS! And we better get another installment of Ride My Sidecar SOON! We're all going through withdrawal!
And WTF am I doing saying this on dear, sweet Divey's blog...OH! Cuz the comment was right up there...that's right! I need a cup of chamomile! ;)
I think its funny when you have one of them super groups with 5 guitars up on stage and you can't make them all out and wonder why are they there? I can't sit here typing all day, hate crimes to do.
It was a good post, Dive, and great guitars, but now I'M even bored. Write something else now please, preferably about London. lol, or any tips you have for aching muscles which are being explored and stretched delightedly out of all proportion.
Ho ho ho, Kate.
It's the ashes of the England cricket team.
Ame: Do we really want to know?
Yup, of course we do!
Lynn: It's been so long since I've had those muscles stretched that I can't remember how to relieve them.
And I'm afraid it's another guitar related post.
Do I get a point for spotting Rich's reference - I think it's Pink Floyd's The Wall rather than Spinal Tap...?
Ooooo … Nifty, Pea.
One point heading your way.
Do i get a point for being a pretty girly in a guitar shop pointing out the prettiest pink guitar and sucking my thumb while one of the staff 'musicians' deign to play it for me?
More of a point than the ugly old bloke eyeing up the pretty pink "Hello Kitty" guitar (me on Saturday) …
Lynn! TWO points for sucking your thumb...you better not do that at our Frolic! LOL! ;)
Hey I only saw this now! And I'm droolin' already..
I didn't know they made Teles with humbuckers- don't you lose the crisp single coil sound that's supposed to be its trademark?
It's lovely, though. I almost got a candy apple Fat Strat myself, then settled for a jewel blue Ibanez.
Also, *shamefully*, this is the first time I've seen a Fender Flame- well in my defence it doen't look like a Fender, so I could have missed it.
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