"Dashing through the snow,
In a one horse open sleigh …"
Bollocks!
Robyn's been working hard at de-Grinching me and getting me all festive and now The Other Girl has got me bang to rights in her latest post.
But why can't a guy be Grinchy at Christmas?
Actually, I was doing pretty good this morning until yet another person asked me the most inane question they could think of: "What are you doing at Christmas?"
… which kinda woke up the Grinch again.
As did the person with the death wish who just pulled the cord on the fucking singing reindeer the girls put up by the door. You're gonna be wearing that thing up your arse if I catch you!
So what am I doing at Christmas?
It won't stop these overexcited, Santa-hatted morons asking, but I'll tell you anyway because I'm a miserable bastard.
Nothing.
Same as every year.
It's just another fucking day, except that the TV is even crapper than usual.
(Private Eye had a good cartoon about that yesterday; a picture of a turkey reading the Christmas TV listings and saying "Luckily, I'll be dead by then." I almost felt jealous).
I started the day with good intentions but the incessant, squealing-two-year-old, infantile stupidity all around the office has worn me down and now I'm just sick to death of it all. That and the shouting drunk office parties falling all over the pavement outside. And the fucking singing reindeer.
Sorry to be such a downer, but it's all so depressing. I don't know WHY it's depressing, it just IS. This time of year the suicide rates jump to a huge peak. There must be a reason.
I'm just going to spend the rest of the day trying my hardest not to deck the next imbecile who asks me that same fucking inane question.
Roll on friday, when I can go home, close the curtains and not come out again until it's all over for another year.
You're welcome to have a lovely Christmas and I hope you do. But please leave me out of it.
5 comments:
I think if I had to put up with a singing reindeer in the office, I'd be disturbed and threatening murder too. I maybe working in an office come January, and the woman in the office next door has a singing, dancing Santa dressed in a Harley suit. The woman is very nice, but I'd have that biker Santa flushed in the men's room urninal in two minutes if I had to listen to it sing everytime I walked by.
Hey dive, we've all felt like you are at one time or another. I actuallly felt that way last year. I had one of my closest friends pass away just 3 day before Christams in 04 so 05 i wasn't feeling that cheery. Hang in there.
Dive, enjoy the TV, and don't worry about what other people think.
You don't have to do a damn thing.
Holidays can really suck. This one does for you. No need to add guilt to the mix.
Thanks guys. You're the best.
Joni was right, though:
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're puttin' up reindeer
And singing songs of love and peace;
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on …
I'll be better in the morning.
Hehe take it easy, Dive. I get all grumpy on my birthdays- usually hate them. Get yourself a nice book, a warm blanket and a tall drink- the best holiday ever!
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