Woohoo!
The artful party dodger has escaped again.
I popped in to the Big party to let my boss see that I was obeying orders.
It was wall to wall drunks shrieking at one another. There's sixty-two of us in the office, and loads of people's partners and office consultants were there, crowding round the free booze like flies round dogshit.
My boss, like most of the debauched mob, was already drunk and insisted on forcing a "festive" quart pot of London Pride and a large tumbler of champagne into my hands.
I had two choices; I could say "Look at you. You're a fucking disgrace. And now you're trying to get me in the same state. Well fuck off!" or I could accept the drinks with a smile, wish him Happy Christmas then sidle off and give them to JJ and JG, our regular hardened lunchtime drinkers.
I love my job so that's what I did.
They were serving the food out as I came in, but I had sampled that last year so I wisely nipped out for sushi before heading to the party.
The party catering can only be described as microwaved catering packs of amusingly shaped fat with salmonella, delicately encased in grease and garnished with burnt bits.
The boss had seen me and I sneaked into the edges of a couple of photos to prove I had been there, so then I wished a few people who like that sort of thing a Happy Christmas and legged it, pronto.
So I'm home for the hols. Whoopee!
No more 4:40am screaming at the alarm clock until next year. I have a skipload of good books, some old black and white movies, some rather good wine and the same healthy food I eat the rest of the year.
Bollocks to binge drinking and eating 'til you puke. I'm going to recharge my batteries.
Merry Christmas one and all.
Love from Scrooge.
7 comments:
I'm glad you only had to make an appearance. Your stash of food and fun at home sounds delightful. Enjoy your time off!
Oh, and the description of the catered food is priceless.
It made me ill last year. I don't eat junk like that so my stomach protested vigorously.
Ick, as you'd say.
Merry Christmas, Dive!
Well done with the holiday party. Someone usually winds up fired after those things every year.
Thanks, Sassy.
Yup. Two people "disappeared" last year (they never came back in the new year), and it has happened before, too.
I just don't understand the appeal of vomiting. Or of day-long headaches. Or clap treatment. Or unwanted pregnancy shared with someone you don't like and who loathes you …
It just seems to have taken over as the new British National Pastime.
Perhaps I'm just getting old …
Or perhaps you have a sensitivity for reasonable and thoughtful behavior. I hate day-long headaches!
Couldn't agree more Dive. Your description was so accurate, having been to a few in my time. The recipe at home sounds infinitely more attractive. It does occur to me, though - i know you love your job - what if someone of the higher echelons at work sees all this on here? EEK.
Robyn: It's lovely to wake up without a headache this morning, especially knowing that the younger members of staff will still be partying even now.
And check out Lynn's comment for proof I'm not exaggerating.
Thank's Lynn. Donna in HR is the only person at work who reads my blog and she feels exactly the same way I do, so I'm not worried (famous last words).
Hi, Kate. Your party sounds almost as grim as ours. You can chill out and relax now until the new year. Have a lovely Christmas.
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