Just borrowed this meme from the splendid Rootietoot, of National Drunk Blogging Day fame.
The sight of Robyn's lovely tree almost elicited a pang of Festive Feeling in my flinty old heart this morning, so I thought I'd counter that with some Scroogey grumpiness by filling in Rootietoot's Christmas survey:
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Organic fairtrade cocoa; same as Sassy.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa just eats all the goodies and drinks the sherry that's left out. All the labouring these days is done by illegal immigrants on subsistence wages while the Fat Man looks on.
3. Coloured lights on tree/house or white? I don't have a tree, and I'm certainly not putting bloody lights up outside my house.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Only in effigy. I'm way too ugly to get a kiss at Christmas.
5. When do you put your decorations up? I don't.
6. What is your favourite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
It's a side dish: Steamed Brussels sprouts, fresh and bright green, quickly tossed in a hot wok at the last second with button mushrooms and chestnuts in a splash of extra virgin olive oil, with garlic and ginger and a dash of soy. A steaming, glistening bowl of mouthwatering cheer beside all the artery-clogging muck, swimming in fat, on the rest of the table (See? I CAN enjoy myself at Christmas, but only if I do the cooking).
7. Favourite holiday memory as a child? The fell winter of 1963. The snow was a mile deep and we had proper snowmen and proper snowballs and proper sledges, not the crap we have now with global warming.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I am Santa Claus.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope. That's just greed. Besides, I only get two gifts these days, so it would be kinda stupid.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I don't have a Christmas tree. I told you that already. Don't you listen?
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it. It means I get to work from home instead of commuting seven hours a day.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes, if you allow for lots of falling over and cursing. Our office goes ice skating every Christmas at Somerset House by the Thames. Mostly this involves watching the girls fall over while getting drunk at the side of the rink.
13. Do you remember your favourite gift? The heart surgeons at Papworth brought my dad back to life when his aorta ruptured. They gave us six more years with him to do and say the things we never had before. That was good.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? Not having to set the alarm clocks for 4:40am every bloody day.
15. What is your favourite holiday dessert? Macallan.
16. What is your favourite holiday tradition? Wandering around the city, laughing at Christmas shoppers as they try desperately not to have a nervous breakdown and kill their children.
17. What tops your tree? For the last time, I do not have a fucking tree!
18. Which do you prefer; giving or receiving? Giving makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and smug. Receiving generally involves covering my disappointment with a fake smile and insincere thanks for some piece of tat bought with no thought whatsoever … so "giving".
19. What is your favourite Christmas Song? Fairytale of New York: The Pogues with the late and sorely missed Kirsty Mc.Coll.
20. Candy Canes! yuck or yummy? Yuck!
21. Favourite Christmas movie? Anything black and white that makes me cry like a girl.
There you go. Fill it in for yourselves if you're feeling festive.
If not, then Bah, humbug to the lot of you.
12 comments:
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot choccy definitely! Actually, mulled wine is even better.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa does both.
6. Brussel sprouts with chestnuts or, for pudding, christmas pud, mince pie with single cream. The only time i ever eat cream.
7. Favourite holiday memory as a child? I was about six and got a Silver Cross pram in which to parade my dollies in very posh style. My brother was eight and got a Motor Roar, a device which fitted to your bike and made (we thought) the sound of a motorbike.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Truth? What truth?
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No. Except when i spent xmas in Switzerland, where it's the norm.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With a collection of beautiful baubles acquired over the years - i buy a new one every year - white lights and sometimes white tinsel draped. I'm very fussy, not too much colour and only the chosen items.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it.
12. Can you ice skate? Used to be able to. Wouldn't try it now, can't afford the time off work with broken limbs.
13. Do you remember your favourite gift? Nothing particularly but generally -
Perfume, perfume and perfume, usually. Chanel, Jean Paul Gautier, Dolce Vita by Dior, Poison... I'm not fussy. lol. Always delightful. Oh and books.
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? Being able to make Christmas special for my sons.
15. What is your favourite holiday dessert? Trifle.
16. What is your favourite holiday tradition?
Hanging my sons' stockings on the wall, even though they are now late teenagers. Must be done.
17. What tops your tree? lol this year; a star. It varies.
18. Which do you prefer; giving or receiving? Giving.
. What is your favourite Christmas Song? Fairytale of New York: The Pogues with the late and sorely missed Kirsty Mc.Coll. Same with me Dive, I miss her too and it's such a fab song. Anyone who doesn't know it should listen immediately. You won't look back.
20. Candy Canes! yuck or yummy? Yuck!
21. Favourite Christmas movie? Anything black and white that makes me cry like a girl. Same again, Dive for me. I am a girl though.
That was fun! Should i get out more?
Oh, you sour, sour man. If you were my neighbor, I would do my best to demonstrate a truly sappy sentimental celebration. I'll fill this in on my site.
Nice choices, Lynn.
While you've been away, Utsav and I have been having a guitar frenzy. Check our posts and join in.
Robyn; I might be slightly jaded, but surely not sour … I answered these questions as honestly as I could. I think some of my answers actually display a slight hint of Christmas Spirit.
All the same, I'm heading on over to your site to be sweetened up a bit.
You are not ugly, Dive. Mistletoe is an odd tradition---poison kisses? That Pogues song rocks.
Let's see....
1. Hot chocolate, unless it is homemade, boozy eggnog.
2. Santa has elves do the wrapping, but he gets all the credit.
3. Big, colored lights in the window, and a strand of white lights on the beam (left up all year).
4. No. The stuff's poison, and I know how to get kissed without it, thank you.
5. Usually around the beginning of December, in a fit of optimism that I won't hate the holidays this year.
6. The Stuff or gingerbread people.
7. My parents wrapped up a toy refrigerator, which for some reason, I really, really wanted, in my favorite wrapping paper (red and white dots). I unraveled the whole thing in absolute delight. As an adult, I made plates for people one year and went out and got fancy cheeses and such. We sat around having delicious snacks, and it warmed my little heart.
8. My stupid cousin used logic to tell me how stupid the idea of Santa was when I was seven. Bastard.
9. My family usually opens a present we know is going to be horrid (from elderly neighbors or a certain aunt) and laugh.
10. The one at my parents is a lovely mishmash of stuff that my sister and I made/gave as a children. Here I have some glass ornaments for the wire tree.
11. In December, lovely and tons of fun. In April, Death Flakes.
12. Yes. I can even skate backwards.
13. Nothing pops to mind. I loved that toy fridge, but mostly I dig the handmade stuff from my family.
14. Seeing the tacky deocrations and the spirit of giving.
15. Chocolate fudge, made by a neighbor. The peanut butter fudge's pretty amazing too.
16. Checking out Edwards Street and all of the tacky light displays. The family has a fondue dinner on Christmas Eve that's pretty great.
17. It's a wire tree, and it has a little star.
18. Giving.
19. Ella Fitzgerald's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," the Charlie Brown Christmas album, and anything by Bing Crosby.
20. Mmm....
21. White Christmas.
Hoorah for Sassy!
Brilliant answers! A perfect mix of Christmassy schmaltz and healthy cynicism with a smiley face.
I particularly love the one about laughing at the crap present. Hee hee.
And please let me know how to get kisses without mistletoe (although I suspect this has something to do with being a pretty girl … and though I look good in drag, I don't like kissing men) …
I love the fridge present. Perhaps this is why your current fridge has a picture of a fridge on it … er …
Sassy, the perfect sentimental element. Very nice.
And Dive, you're right about not being sour. I must have overreacted to your lack of tree and lights and festivity.
Sad lonely old man to the other, do you have a gun and if so do you put it to your head a lot during X-mas?
Oh, Dive, you just need to find the right woman. She'll let you kiss her without the poison. Promise.
For some reason I'm still feeling optimistic even though I turned down the date last night.
While Rootie may be Splendid, I do so hate memes. Give me a few (minutes? days? weeks?) to ponder my answers and I might just post them on my blog.
And yes, that is a threat.
(Sorry to bother you while you are sleeping. I won't slam the door on my way out.)
Sorry to be so undecorative, Robyn, but there's really no point. There's only me, and I'm either in London or gigging or doing stuff, so except when I'm asleep I'm never actually at home to see any decorations.
Old K; if I could get hold of a gun, there wouldn't be any Christmas.
… oh, and a bullet as well; the thought of clubbing myself to death with a gun butt doesn't appeal.
Sassy: Any woman is the right woman; it appears I'm just not the right man …
And welcome, Northern Girl. You and Rootie have started something that looks set to make my holiday season worthwhile.
I know what you mean about memes; it's just that it was an ideal opportunity to get Grinchy and, as my regular gang know, that is my raison d'etre.
Think I'll take the "Bah, Humbug!" way out, what with my semester exams starting on the 26th (do you believe that??) and the pile of books I've never seen the insides of. I'd been missing from class for so long it's a wonder the Lecturers still remembered me when I went back last week!
Exams starting on the 26th!!!
Yikes!
Poor you, Utsav.
I'm sure you'll pass with flying colours, though.
And now I have yet another reason for feeling guilty over Christmas.
All I can say is study hard and good luck!
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