Baps And Peepees Part 1

Being the first installment of Ame, Bear and Dive "Do London".
Just why this little photoblog is titled "Baps and Peepees" will become apparent later, dear reader, as Ame takes on the British Museum and wins.

And so to Marble Arch. Yup, that's it. Ame and Bear are holed up in the Marriott just around the corner.

And here they are! Yaaaaay! Bear and Ame in Hyde Park. Shame about the shitty grey day, but at least it didn't rain.
So … and I know this is what you slavering fools want to know: Bear is a totally cool and fantastic guy and Ame … er … is actually rather lovely and doesn't speak in UPPER CASE WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!! Scary, but true!
Don't be downheartened, however. As the day progresses, the real Ame shines through with much rudery and many a jolly jape.

"Hey! There's a fricking fig leaf!" Ame ponders why the Duke of Wellington would have wanted a huge, muscly, naked guy just outside his window. This theme is developed later as she takes pictures of every pink cab she can find … and for some totally gay reason, London is full of pink cabs.

… And red buses … and horse poo! Okay. Let's take pictures of horse poo. Ame also takes pictures of horses and indeed a horse's ass. I can't wait 'til she posts those!

One of the day's themes: "Why is London so full of bloody statues?"
Answers on a postcard but please, not to me.

So, we've decided - as we like walking - to do London on foot … with a boaty bit in the middle.
And what more spiffy way to walk than through Hyde Park, then through Green Park, then through St.James's Park and on down to Westminster. Pretty.
Across Green Park we come across the Parasite House, looming through the trees.

Bear and Ame in Green Park.
Yes, I know it looks just like Hyde Park, but believe me, it is Green Park.

We arrive at the Parasite House to find crowds all round the gates. They are waiting for the Changing of the Guard, which is still half an hour away and stupendously boring and unspectacular. So we leave them to it.

… Although we do take pictures of them …

Yaay! Tourists! Crossing the Mall outside the Parasite House.

And on into St. James's Park, where Ame has me hunt down the now famous camellia from the snow post. and here it is, still thriving.

Westminster Abbey. Up until just after this photo, Ame had been quite astonishingly quiet and polite and "look at the lovely, well-behaved young lady" …
Then "Hey, Divey Boy! Look!" and the screen of her camera is filled with the road sign for "Broad Sanctuary" … "Bet the boys would love this one! … And don't look at me like that; I haven't even said 'penis' yet!"
Ah, that's more like it. Ame starts to wake up.

The inevitable tourist pose outside Parliament, where we discussed Oliver Cromwell and how much fun it would be to revive his cool idea of cutting off the heads of monarchs.

The Palace of Westmister Clock Tower. Coming back this way at one, Big Ben chimes the hour and Ame is disappointed, "Hey! Only one dong!"

And so we finish our first installment by boarding a boat for a trip down to Tower Bridge. Touristy, I know, but a great way to see London (at least the bits of it near the Thames).
In part two, we are introduced to the word "Bap" and from then on, there's no holding Ame back.