Spike Lite

Yeah, I know … Why is the man who hates TV posting about a TV programme?

You know me; I try to steer well clear the idiot box, but I do keep in my dusty vaults television's only worthwhile spewings (DVD sets of The Big Box of Buffy, Frasier and The Simpsons) and am currently re-watching Buffy on my big new Mac.

This post is for fellow Buffster Kate, to let her know that when this series arrives on Aussie TV she can watch without fear.

Someone at the office told me this week that the incomparable James Marsters - our beloved Spike from Buffy - has turned up in in the BBC's teen-kiddie, Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood.
I'd actually caught a couple of the first series, which was only made watchable by the weirdly sexy Burn Gorman (who stole the show as Guppy in the Beeb's adaptation of Bleak House), the openly gay, ham-acting Captain Jack and a token sexy Japanese girl.

Spike … Cool as fuck

So this morning, after breakfast in the city, I switch on the Mac, open the Beeb's iPlayer and watch last week's Torchwood.
I almost daren't look.
Spike in a Brit teen show?
Could this ruin him forever?

I needn't have worried … the scriptwriters are very obviously Buffy fanatics.

Hokay: Big flash of light and here he comes; he walks the Spike walk, he talks the Spike talk, but he's now a brunette with an Adam Ant pirate jacket and silly guns … oh, and he's no longer a vampire but some kind of time traveller addicted to sex (men, women, even a poodle), booze, drugs and murder … Kinda like Doctor Who should have been.
So far, so watchable …
Within seconds he's dropped some bloke off the top of a multi-story car park and hits the first Buffy tribute line: "Thirsty now."

Not to spoil things for Kate too much, there follows an hilarious "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope" piss-take, worthy of Buffy; a full on snog-fest with gay Captain Jack (well, several actually), and some chortle-inducing bitching and posturing.
After that is was, rather disappointingly Spike Lite, played for laughs and never quite evil enough (this is British teen TV after all).

Gay fun with Jack and John

So … our Spike survives the transition. He's still kinda residual-cool, bitchily funny and so much more camp than everything else on TV … but it ain't Buffy.

This has been a public service announcement for my fellow Buffsters.

The rest of you can just go watch all seven series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and discover that - in an ideal world - television can actually be genuinely cool, sexy and funny.

It's just not an ideal world any more.