Suffer, Meme Haters.

Well, as I'm feeling particularly uninspired of late, here's another meme to make you even more bored:

This one appears to be about 2007.
It also appears to be written by an American kid, so a lot of it doesn't apply. But I don't really give a fuck.

1) Where did you begin 2007?: In bed, asleep.

2) What was your status on Valentine's Day?: Stunned, as after decades of enforced loneliness I appeared to have acquired a girlfriend four days before.

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?: I spent a lot of my time hanging around girls' schools. But then I design girls' schools for a living so it's not as dodgy as as if you were hanging around them.
I also kept up my Japanese lessons at Yarmouth College. Still 100% test record. すごいです。

4) How did you earn your money?: Designing girls' schools … duh!

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?: Yes. I spent a happy nine hours waiting for a blood test and also had my check-ups, X-rays and general maintenance done.
I didn't visit anyone in hospital in 2007, which is always a nice thing to say about a year.

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?: Not in 2007, other than getting my annual CRB check done (Criminal Records Bureau … It's part of my job that I'm a good boy and they check me out and provide a certificate to say I've not been naughty. Someone with a record of drug dealing or on the sex offenders register would not be the wisest choice for working with schoolgirls).
In 2006, they came round to remonstrate with me for throwing a burglar out of my kitchen window, leaving him somewhat the worse for wear. That was when I discovered that fingerprint dust is a fucking pain to get off stuff.
The CSI girl was gorgeous.

7) Where did you go on vacation?: Nowhere. I've not been away on hols since 1994.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?: Too much. I like stuff.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?: Yup. Fat Claire from the Village of the Damned. I think they had to sign a legal document to the effect that they wouldn't breed … at least I hope they did.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?: Too many fellow musicians.

12) Did you move anywhere?: Only shuttling between Norfolk and London.

13) How did you celebrate your birthday?: I read a book and went to bed.

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?: Only weird shit that nobody's ever heard of.

15) Are you registered to vote?: Yup, though finding a good Socialist to vote for is becoming tricky these days.

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?: I've never watched it or read about it and I have no idea who was in it and I'm glad.

17) Where do you live now?: On the edge of a cute little village nestled in the middle of the Norfolk Broads.

18) How did you spend your summer break?: My what? I seem to remember telling you that I design schools for a living. Most of our major construction work goes on during the summer break so I was busier than a hive of bees.

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?: I found a girl who seems to like me and fell in love. Sickening, isn't it?

20) What has been your favorite moment?: A first kiss … in the British Museum of all places.

21) What's something you learned about yourself?: That I can no longer simply bounce straight back up if I fall down the stairs. Suddenly it hurts. Getting old sucks.

22) Any new additions to your family?: Only the occasional new spider scuttling about the place.

23.) What was your worst month?: January. After that I was half of a couple.

24.) What music will you remember 2007 by?: Lots of good new avant-garde music came out and Joni came out of retirement with a spiffy album but nothing stands out particularly.

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy? Charlie and Fern; next door's cats.

26) Made new friends?: Yes, oddly.

27) New best friend?: Rupa; a small, spherical Indian woman who is more fun than watching a paraglider slam into the side of a caravan.

28) Favorite night out?: All the parties I've avoided going to. One day people are going to realise and stop inviting me. Twats.

29) What sporting events did you attend?: None, other than motor racing. Though I do enjoy watching our girls slaughter the opposition at lacrosse (we have the entire England team and a whole lot of international players at our schools; most of them at Norwich, which specialises in it).

30) What was your best month?: July was pretty good.

31) Overall, how would you rate 2007 out of 10?: I wouldn't. Like most years it was a bit of a curate's egg.

32) Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?: Stuck on fucking trains getting backwards and forwards to London.

33) Did you change your hairstyle?: I went slightly balder.

34) Have any car accidents?: Nope.

35) Did you have a New Year's resolution?: It's all here.

36) Do anything embarrassing?: Way too much to relate here.

37) Buy anything new from eBay?: Nope. Never use it.

38) Get married?: Nope. Though I might one day.

39) Get arrested?: Nope.

40) Be honest - did you watch American Idol?: Nope. I don't know what that is and I probably wouldn't care if I did know.

41) Did you get sick in 2007?: The odd headache.

42) Been snowboarding?: What a fucking stupid question to ask a middle-aged man in a country where there's not enough snow to make a decent snowball.

43) Are you happy to see 2007 go?: Yup.

Well. So much for 2007.
So far, 2008 has been utter crap.
Who makes these fucking years? Whoever it is needs a damned good kick up the arse.