In the absence of any time to write a meaningful, coherent or even a simply abusive blog post (I am insanely busy at the moment), here are five stupid little things that are currently obsessing me:
1 - Keeping meticulous records of train delays every day for years and sending my own records to the rail ombudsman to mock the official punctuality figures.
One Railway claims a 96.8% punctuality record on my line, but - in the three years since they took over and wrecked the franchise - I have been on three trains that have arrived on time (I count "on time" the same way as Japan Rail … to the second … whereas One counts it as "within ten minutes of the stated time" … Huh?) and in that same period of time I have been on five trains that have caught fire, including two that have had their windows smashed by flailing broken overhead electricity lines, three trains that have squished and smeared stupid fucking jumpers all along the tracks, seventy-two that have broken down and countless trains that have been between one and six hours late.
96.8% punctuality, my arse.
2 - The so far fruitless search for a coffee shop that sells me both a perfect coffee and a perfect croissant (on the same day).
I have become convinced that, due to some weird anomaly with the physics of the universe, the perfect coffee and the perfect croissant are mutually exclusive and cannot exist in the same universe at the same time.
My impossible quest continues.
3 - Writing my site meeting notes phonetically in hiragana (ひらがな).
A bit stupid, this one. Even though it is great practice for hiragana (and easy, as hiragana is a syllabary rather than an alphabet and is almost as quick as shorthand), the upshot is that nobody but myself can read the damned things.
4 - Always parking in exactly the same spot, whether it is at the station, at college or in Norwich on a Saturday morning.
If there's somebody in "my" space it gets me really grouchy.
How stupid is that?
5 - The stickers on the inside of Willow Rosenberg's school locker (they change 'em every series).
I'm currently watching all 39 DVDs in my Big Box of Buffy (yet again) and have been a slave to the freeze frame ever since I noticed a Luv Show sticker inside the locker door of my favourite witch.
The Luv Show was a strange concept/fake TV show/album by kooky performance artist/singer/movie actress Ann Magnuson after Bongwater split up.
Being one of approximately three Bongwater obsessives on the planet I was somewhat gobsmacked to see it in there as I was convinced that only myself and Ann Magnuson's mum own a copy of that album.
Apparently the staff on Buffy had a bit of a pissing contest to see who could out-cool the others with the most obscure references and bands (like the Luv Show and Japanese girlie weirdos Cibo Matto - who, by coincidence, I was listening to on my train journey this morning … forty-nine minutes late in case you wondered).
And now I'm hooked, too.
So … What are your current stupid little obsessions?
20 comments:
Not sure about little obsessions.
I have however OCD. It's irritating. There was a time when I was still living in Manila and teaching at the university, when I was so agitated, not certain if I unplugged the iron. So from the time I drove to uni at 6am to about 1230 I was obsessing about it.
I taught 3 classes in the morning and had a 3-hour window before my next class. So I hopped into my car and drove as fast as I could, which took almost 1.5 hours one way. Only to arrive home and find out that I did turn off my iron! (Which was of course better than finding my house burnt down.)Then drove back to uni in time to teach my next class. I can tell you more stories just as stupid!
joy
The Goddess In You
Norwich Daily Photo
Your Love Coach
Yikes! I'm not quite that bad, Joy, but I am annoyingly anal about things like my books and CDs being in exactly the right order and all of the cutlery being in the correct compartment and the right way round … and Heaven forbid if someone moves something an inch out of place … But then I'm always getting grief from blogpals for ironing my boxer shorts and bed-linen so there's not much hope for me.
Do you count stairs as you go up and down?
If I get half way, and have omitted to count them, I stop and take count. Then continue. Even in a building I regularly visit. Hate to think how long it will take on the Eiffel Tower ! What if I lose count ?
However, I do prefer to mix up the cutlery; and stackable plastic cups must be stacked in random order. I have a friend who stacks them in ROYGBIV order. At his place, I look in his cupboard and randomize them. He then checks to see if I have been in the cupboard and changes them back. This process can repeat - ad nauseam, but nothing is ever said. His name is David. There are many more sad yarns about us 2. Perhaps, more on another occasion.
Wow! That's a doozy, Monsieur B!
And AUGH! I sympathise with your friend David. My friends tend to do that to me, too. And not one of them knows how to fold a towel in the bathroom. Whenever they leave I have to go round folding and straightening things.
Darn it.
Yeah, the parking space thing is kind of stupid, I'll admit. I'll have to think about my own obsessive tendencies. I have been working on letting go of them over the last couple of years. I do know, that when I sit at a table at a restaurant, I immediately align my silverware to be perfectly even with the edge of the table. And I like to have the cannisters in my kitchen in a certain non-pattern arrangement, and when the cleaning lady aligns them, I get really disturbed.
Hee hee, Robyn. That last one is particularly cool! Obsessive asymmetry is a very Japanese thing.
gosh there are some foibles here for sure. Is it worth all that logging to send to the railway, Dive, which let's face it, might just thank you by letter but bin it. Put it in an article to the Guardian instead. Get paid to write it and actually reach an audience?
Croissants...mmm...i want one now. I love them but hate the mess. Is that obsessive? I hate messy sandwiches too, with all the stuff hanging out of it. Ugh.
I don't know how you get the time, with all your travelling, though to do all folding and re-folding after guests. I find i cannot keep up with all the chores, there's just me in the house to do them (i have a 16 year old son and he does sometimes help and doesn't make a mess, but there's a lot to do) I'd love to know the secret. Every day, because of work, some gets left! If i prioritise the housework, then i don't earn money. Is this obsessive, this dilemma? I don't know.
Ideally i'd be more like you, with all my books in the right order etc. i just love that, but i need another hour or so a day.
The records get submitted by our official commuter pressure group, Lynn; the same group that won compensation for us via the EU last year. They do pay attention.
I must admit, I could do with another day a week to get all the housework and chores done; I just have to have very intensive weekends. And of course I still get up at 4:40 in the morning through force of habit so loads of stuff gets done before breakfast.
And messy sandwiches? I'm right with you there! Ugh!
They are hardly stupid little obsessions. I like to think of them as us getting the planet our way for just a second.
I do the parking thing to, anywhere I go frequently has "my" car space.
I fold bath towels in a certain way and if someone "helps" and folds them "wrong" then i have to refold them.
Ever seen the movie "sleeping with the enemy" with the creepy stacked perfect cans in the cupboard? Thats me all over. I'm a can stacker.
I'm a cutlery nazi, its spoons forks knives in that order.
I peel vegetables with a knife, except for carrots, you have to peel carrots with a peeler.
And take a look in the coin section of my purse. It has to have two sections because the gold coins being mixe din with the silver coins annoys me to distraction.
I'm so starting to sound like I have major OCD issues here.
Vic the groover is staying here and she confessed to me that she has never seen an episode of buffy. I really should sit her down and make her watch them all. Except for season four where she gets the sappy human boyfriend, that whole series would have been a misfire had it not been for spike.
I've never noticed the stickers in willows locker. Now I'll have to look.
Oh that sounds good then Dive. Thought it was a lone voice.
Kate i'm a knives, forks, spoons girl.
Kate: I do every one of those except the purse; my version is gold in the right pocket, silver in the left.
How fucking stupid are we?
And Vic is a Buffy virgin?
Wow!
How can anybody as cool as the Groover not be into the Buffster?
This situation must be remedied.
Lynn: It's getting scary how many of us there are out there.
I'm obsessed with your penis post. :)) Really, I - like Robyn, have been working on getting rid of obsessions in my life but I do have one for cute Asian women.
MMMMMMMMMM … Me too, Rich.
That deep longing to be trapped in a bath-house with a selection of cute Japanese girls is one that never leaves us middle-aged men alone.
And I for one am quite happy with that situation.
I don't really have any obsessions but I live with a woman who has to have towels folded a certain way and cans a certain way and you name it a certain way. I told her long ago that I was NOT going to be bullied into doing things her way, so now she just goes along after me and changes everything.
I confess that I have laughed at her. To her face too and not behind her back.
I am wicked sometimes too and deliberately mess up the can cabinet when I am angry at her. I am 49 years old too...not nine.
I'm with you on #4!
Maria, I am so with Bing on this one (so what's new, eh?).
Surprise her one time. Fold the towels properly and see if she notices.
Welcome Beantown. Yeah, I don't know why that one gets to me. Even if there are plenty of other places, if someone's parked in my usual spot it can put a crimp on the whole day.
Blogging's a bit of an obsession too isn't it really. I do have to get my fix of blog reading each day.
It can get a bit that way, Lynn. I find I get annoyed if I don't manage thirty posts a month … which is where all the crappy filler comes in handy.
I'm the same. My clothes are arranged according to colour - which I think makes sense. My cassette tape collection in Manila is alphabetical. Duvet sheets and the like need to be pointing the right way - like if there's a flower, tree or butterfly design, they have to be the right way up. Otherwise I won't be able to sleep. When I eat, I want my utensils, butter, drink, etc in the correct place. I didn't realise this until my friends back at uni watched me set it all up before eating one lunch time.
joy
A Pinay In England
Your Love Coach
The Goddess In You
It's so nice to find kindred spirits, Joy. I don't think I could ever live in the disordered clutter that some people have around them.
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