Man-flu sucks.
Yeah, yeah, I know: weemen shrug off this thing with a petite sneezette and carry on giving birth while they cook or whatever and even the slightest breeze can knock a man flat for a week.
But it still sucks.
I've been fighting this thing off since Tuesday but late yesterday the fucker crept up on me and hit me with a truck. Holy crap!
"BAM!" … "KAPOW!" All that stuff.
So I've been trying to sweat off the stupid fever since yesterday teatime but the "aches and shakes" are even worse (so's the vom-fest: I hate that) this morning and somebody's been kicking me in the kidneys all night so I'm taking my kettle, my pile of lemons and my jar of honey upstairs to bed and I'm going to do my best to leap on the flu and rip the smegger's balls off.
It's a toe-to-toe stand-up slug-fest with hot lemon, honey and - if things don't improve - chilis taking on six foot of phlegm, vomit, shakes, aches and general crappiness.
Or - if you're a woman - it's a touch of fluey cold.
19 comments:
Get well soon Dive, with greetings from a perfectly healthy lady who doesn't have a clue what you're talking about, never had it in her life. Cheers!
.... wasn't that nasty of me to prove your point, eh?
he he Nathalie! Actually Dive, you got it slightly the wrong way round. We get all that stuff, it's no less, we just....carry on regardless. No choice. Har har.
No, seriously, darling Dive, I DO sympathise, really I do. Go to bed and do battle with those armaments and a lot of sleep. Your body's probably been impatiently waiting for you to slow down so that it can get to work. Let it do its stuff now. Kisses for getting better xxx
Ladies, you are too kind/unkind (delete where applicable).
Hee hee, Nathalie!
And Lynn: you know exactly what a man-flu victim needs. We don't care how insincere or sarcastic it is, we just need babying.
I'm feeling no better, by the way; I just came downstairs to get more water and in passing switched on the pooter to check if Lynn had posted her Minotaur penis (she has … yay)!
Feel better soon Dive - beat the snot monster to a snotty pulp.
forget the lemon and tea, sugar...grab a bottle of champagne or bourbon and drink! you'll feel much better all snuggled under your duvet! hang in there, darlin, moan, groan and complain, it's your manly right! xoxoxox
I'm sure that it's not much of a consolation that you got to skip the horrible commute and a day at the office, but maybe that gives you small comfort as you shiver and sweat under the duvet while trying to fight the valiant battle that is the winter flu. I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling much better!
Cheers, Shazza. I'm doing my best.
Savannah: I think right now that a scotch would probably kill me.
xoxoxox
Katie: Skipping the commute is a great consolation. Waking up tomorrow feeling better would of course entail actually getting to sleep; something I've not managed now since Tuesday night so that would be nice.
Sucky Suckertown Dive! Sorry you've got the flu! Trust me that type is wretched for both sexes. Anything involving vomit on top of congestion and fever cannot be tolerated by many. I will go to almost any length not to hurl. That is a hideous hideous activity.
Well, I hope you've slept by the time you get up to check into the blog again. Take care dear fella :(.
Sorry to add sadness to snottiness, Dive, but did you hear that Betty Page died?
Shan: I am glad it's not just me who goes to impossible lengths not to hurl when my lungs are full of phlegm.
That is so gross!
I'm feeling better than I was but now the night is settling in my stupid fever and shakes are returning.
Hey ho.
I checked with the office earlier and more than half of us are struck down with this stupid thing. At least I'll be clear of it for Christmas.
Lucio: Deep grief indeedy!
Robyn told me at lunchtime and I grabbed a whole slew of Bettie images to do a post and then thought … er … maybe a set of bondage and spanking photos from the 1950s are not what our Blogville ladies really want to see, so I shall grieve in private.
I hope you feel better soon, Dive, because in this house, you get about 3 days of sympathy, then you're on your own.
Bourbon and lemon juice and honey do sound pretty good to me. But it's the flu, not just a sore throat. How about a few squid and a little Elliott Carter?
I like the idea of a sneezette, but I'm afraid I don't bother with daintiness when it comes to sneeziness.
Get better soon, Dive!
My thoughts exactly.
...Dive.
Hey, tough it up! :D It's only a bug and it'll go away when it's ready and not before. It's 5.5 hours before my flight, so I'm making your blog my last pit stop before I catch some z's and then get up to go to the airport! I shall come back once I'm in Manila! Meanwhile, just enjoy the flu. It does have its upside :D
he he yep the penis was in demand! Yes babying does the trick and actually, I don't mind doing it. I'm a good nurse.
I do hope you will feel a little improved tomorrow Dive. Keep resting. Drink. No, not that sort of drink. lol. Well, a scotch would be good. ;)
*Bettie* (RIP)
I read this article in The Mother Earth news a few days ago about how to fight the flu. They suggest that you snick up 3 garlic cloves and pour lemon juice and water over them and drink it as a tea.
I almost vomited thinking about lemon juice, water, and garlic clove tea.
But, hey...whatever works. Feel better soon.
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