Thanks to the snot monster I've missed Louisa's craft fair, my Japanese lesson, Tony's gig and my yummy Saturday breakfast in the city.
Oh, and some crappy commuting, so perhaps it's not all bad.
Here are a couple of things that are truly bad:
As Robyn and Lucio kindly informed me yesterday, the world is a slightly less knotty and red-assed place today after the sad death at 85 of everybody's favourite 1950s bondage and spanking queen and born again Christian, Bettie Page.
What an alluring …er … haircut that gal had.
To help all of us bereaved Bettie fans mourn in our own … ahem … private way, here are some classic Bettie shots:
And to make your day even worse, Mikey sent me an unnecessarily festive little gem which I just sat and giggled my way through.I confess to an addiction to crap B-movies, and B-movies don't come much crappier than this one.
Yay!
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.
If you have the time, please make yourself a coffee and a bite to eat (popcorn would be good), click on the link and settle in to enjoy a truly strange and horrifyingly festive Christmas crapfest.
If you don't have the time, make it. Watching this tosh is well worth sacrificing something like the ironing or cleaning the bathroom (actually that's a pretty close call).
For those who share my predilection (or are just morbidly curious and have way more time than taste), check out:
Classic Cinema Online, home of Tod Browning's Freaks, The Day The Earth Stood Still, The Giant Gila Monster, Night of the Living Dead, Creature with the Atom Brain, It! Terror From Beyond Space and way too many more.
… and America Free TV, replete with Roger Corman classics like Little Shop of Horrors, Swamp Women and such wonders as Teenage Zombies, The Wasp Woman, Attack of the Monsters, Mesa of Lost Women et al.
It's all free and it's all complete trash.
What's not to love.
I'm off to continue my own personal B-movie, Dive vs. The Snot Monster.
Happy Saturday, earthlings.
22 comments:
Ah, classic Bowie. He sang all these so well in the last few years when I saw him too. Amazing.
Bettie...hmm. Never heard of her. Sorry that someone you admired has died though. The pics, well, hmm, different... the top one is quite beautiful though - what a gorgeous figure.
Never heard of Bettie? Hee hee. What a sheltered life you must lead, Lynn.
She was the classic cheesecake model of the fifties. I'll bet your dad remembers her (though not in front of your mum).
And yes; as a performer, Bowie just seems to get better with age (though not as a writer, but with a back catalogue like his it doesn't really matter).
I take it you didn't sit and watch Santa Claus Conquers The Martians?
feeling a bit better, sugar? ;) xoxox
(did you see the documentary "bettie page: pinup queen")
I'm on the mend now, thanks Savannah.
I didn't see the documentary; it's not the sort of thing that gets shown on Brit TV (which may be why I don't watch it).
xoxox
Yes I'm a jolly old decent gel, Dive. Reasonably sheltered. Such people have passed me by I'm afraid - is that good or bad, I'm not sure?
Prob my Dad would remember - I'm not sure I have the nerve to ask though!
What's a cheesecake model?
I didn't watch it no, I'm afraid but can well imagine! I am a bit stuck for time, shopping for the ghastly season as you would put it and cooking mince pies, checking the floods (not too awful) and of course housework. Which I hope you have minimalised this weekend. You need to get better! x
minimalised? what's that Americanism creeping in there? Shock horror. Minimised. Eek.
Cheesecake models were the old-fashioned pin-up gals from the forties and fifties, Lynn.
Unfortunately, the housework doesn't go away when I'm feeling crappy so I have that delightful chorus of chores to face all weekend.
I love that Bettie became a born-again Christian but didn't renounce her earier...career. "Adam and Eve were naked as a jay bird," she said. Maybe my church will show that documentary about her life. hee hee
Hee hee, Robyn! I somehow doubt they'd show it but it would certainly perk up the congregation.
One thing's for sure: Heaven is now a distinctly more … er … interesting place.
You do realise that, in some countries, this is an illegal quantity of subcultural cheese?
Hope you feel better soon, buddy.
I'd never heard of her either...but I love the phrase "pin up girl." And yes, she was lovely. Now I bet it would have been a wonderful experience to sit down and have had a talk with her over dinner. I think people like her make the best company.
Glad you are feeling better, Dive.
The NY Times today has a really good obit for Bettie Page as well an article about her in the Arts section. I saw the movie "The Notorious Bettie Page" a few years ago which was quite interesting (and Gretchen Mol did a decent job as Bettie). I haven't seen the documentary, but I love the idea of Scout's church playing it by accident because she became a born-again Christian!
When I have a few minutes I'll check out your links. I did watch the old Bowie clip; love his earring!
Lucio: One can never OD on cheese. I love it.
Maria: The pin-up girl era was somehow more innocent. Even the bondage and spanking that Bettie did seems quite quaint these days.
Katie: I wonder if any Christian groups will play that documentary without realising until it is too late. What a delicious thought!
I would only recommend checking those links if you are - like me - an ardent fan of the worst possible kind of cheap, crappy drive-in B-movie.
Quaint? You think those pics are quaint? I AM sheltered...
Indeed Bettie was a legend of biblical porportions. She did the "leg" work for all of those who would follow in her footsteps. She lifted herself up by her own bra straps. She had an edge about her and it seemed to work. She was a true phenom. My she rest in peace.
Im hoping you slay the flu beast soon Dive. Sickness sucks!
Dive: The stinkier the better as far as I'm concerned! Indeed, 'It's a Wonderful Life' should - for the sake of our collective sanity, if not that of our beleaguered species - be occasionally replaced as le film préféré on Christmas day with 'Santa Claus Versus The Martians'.
I've got my water crackers ready!
Bettie was gorgeous! It's nice to see a brunette sex symbol. There are too many blondes. There is something about stockings and garter belts on a leggy woman. They would look ridiculous on my short legs. (Maybe when I was younger and thinner). Thanks for the Bowie blast from the past (my first year in high school). I will check out the links. I love old cheesy B movies. I hope you are feeling better.
Lynn: Yes, those pictures are quaint. I can quite see some gran bringing a set to the BBC's Antiques Roadshow one day (I've not watched that in decades; do they have a "vintage erotica" section)?
Great tribute, Mark. Here's to Bettie and all the other cheesecake models who graced our dads' locker doors.
Gosh, Lucio, do you have water crackers, too? I have a couple of boxes of "Carr's Table Water" biscuits in the pantry.
Nibbling a water biscuit accompanied by a nice oozy piece of ripe brie and some grapes and walnuts is so much more civilised than snarfing popcorn, even when watching Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.
Neetzy: She was indeed a classic beauty. I'm with you; I am definitely a brunette man!
Short legs only look bad on tall women. Ming the Menstrual (my torturer for sixteen years) was only four foot ten but boy howdy did she have great legs - you can glimpse them disappearing into the pool in this old post: http://smallglassplanet.blogspot.com
/2008/05/mme-benaut-swimsuit-challenge.html
As for the Bowie: I confess to sitting here for over an hour yesterday, wallowing in vintage clips on YouTube.
Those truly were the days.
Dive, you are the best reason I can think of to visit England! And, when I do, I insist we get together for crispy crackers, molten fromage and a delectably tacky B-movie. With any luck, we will be joined by Katie, without whom we are merely two-thirds of a terrifically compatible triumvirate.
I'm so glad to have stumbled upon the two of you; and, furthermore, immensely grateful for the giggles and goodwill the two of you have dished out so plentifully. Kindred spirits are hard to find, but once found should be treasured. And you are. Both of you.
Sorry for getting all sappy on you, but life is short, and notoriously unpredictable, so I am taking this opportunity to say what I think and feel in the hope that my carapace of cynicism might dissolve to reveal that I am actually quite a sensitive old sod, with an appreciation for all that is good in good people.
I'll shut up now. Any more and I might start sounding "Christmassy".
A Christmassy Lucio! Yikes!
I think our little Trio of Frasier Cranes would be great company and I do hope we all end up together some day … preferably somewhere more culturally sound than a cheesy B-movie, though.
Hee hee.
Your sappiness is reciprocated.
I don't know whether you heard the Film programme on 4 yesterday, but they panned the new Keanu remake of Day the Earth Stood Still and praised the B&W original. Hurray. I'm a fan of Keanu, but not of remakes. CGI effects alone can't make a film better! Discuss.
They re-made The Day The Earth Stood Still?
With Keanu Reeves?
Holy crap, Pea. That's like the Sylvester Stallone remake of The Italian Job.
Why oh why?
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