Savannah's Movie Meme

My copious and effusive thanks battle against the prevailing winds to cross the Atlantic and land on Savannah's front lawn.
Her delightful little movie meme has once again saved me from the horrors of blogstipation.

So, switch off your mobile phone, stiff-arm the twat munching popcorn in your ear (if that doesn't work, tip his bucket of cola into his lap), plant your knees firmly in the back of the person sitting in front (to keep your shoes off the sticky floor); it's movie time!

1. One movie that made you laugh:
"Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!"
Of course, it's the wonderful Young Frankenstein.


2. One movie that made you cry: Sheesh! I'll blub at anything!
I have a huge collection of old black and white movies that are guaranteed to make me cry like a baby on rainy Saturday afternoons (kinky, maybe, but as long as I do it in the privacy of my own home …).
Brief Encounter, poor Sydney Carton at the end of A Tale Of Two Cities, Magwich's death in Great Expectations, the list is way too long to write here.
Just narrowing it down to one "blub" movie is far too difficult so let's pick a random weepy moment … Cool! My random pick says

"Forget it, Jake … It's Chinatown …" (cue lovely trumpet and great retro end credits).

3. One movie you loved when you were a child:
Fantasia did it for me.
Apparently the pink elephants from Dumbo freaked me out when I was four … perhaps a prophetic foresight of drinking habits to come.

4. One movie you’ve seen more than once:
The one I've probably watched the most (an obscene amount of times) is Doctor Strangelove (Or How I learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb).

Still relevant today (probably even more so) and still gut-sprainingly hilarious.

5. One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it:
Die Hard 4 (Ouch! That hurt just typing it).
Well, not "loved" exactly, but it didn't suck anywhere near as much as I expected and yes, I actually enjoyed it.
And it has Flyleaf's "I'm So Sick" in it, which has gotta count for something.


6. One movie you hated:
The American desecrations of Get Carter and The Italian Job … oh, and anything with Nicholas Cage in it.

"Oi, Stallone!

You're a big man, but you're out of shape."

7. One movie that scared you: The original Japanese "Ring"; the bit where the two girls are all alone in the house with "the telephone".
Holy shit.

8. One movie that bored you:
Andy Warhol's 24 hour long "Empire".
We saw it at college one weekend in the blacked-out common room. Actually, it wasn't that boring as we partied through half of it and slept through the rest, waking up to enjoy the last few hours crashed on a floor full of junk food, beer, girls and dope.

9. One movie that made you happy:
Slim Pickens riding the bomb in Doctor Strangelove always cheers me up, but the movie that is guaranteed to leave me with a warm glow is another nuclear annihilation flick (I'm a child of the Cold War), the incomparably splendid The Bed Sitting Room.

What a beautiful little film that was. I can't find a copy on DVD for love nor money, dammit!

10. One movie that made you miserable:
Anything that those masters of child-exploitation, the beard-hating Disney Corporation made after the wonderful Jungle Book.
Just watch the heart-stoppingly beautiful Japanese masterpiece Spirited Away (don't you fucking DARE watch the dubbed version! Read the subtitles and listen to the Japanese or I'll come round and slap you so hard) to see how Disney could have turned out had they not sold Walt's soul to crass commercialism on an obscene scale.

11. One movie you weren’t brave enough to see:
Showgirls.
'Nuff said.

12. One movie character you’ve fallen in love with:
Charley Varrick (Walter Matthau) in the fabulously sleazy 1970's noir of the same name.

13. The last movie you saw:
Last night - as there was only boring footie on the telly - I watched my favourite noir; singled out by the US government as "the number one menace to American youth in 1955", starring a scenery-chewing Ralph Meeker as Mike Hammer and the debut screen appearance (nude) of Cloris Leachman (tying this neatly to my first choice in this meme, where she plays Frau Blücher … cue sound of horses neighing in terror); that glorious "va-va-voom" of a movie, Kiss Me Deadly.

Fantastic!

14. The next movie you hope to see:
A remake of The Running Man; only this time as a real-life documentary where George Bush (both of 'em), Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are dropped in a remote area of the Afghanistan/Pakistan border with only their lies to defend themselves with and are hunted down, tortured and slaughtered for our entertainment.
Add a Keystone Kops style soundtrack and we've got a winner.

I'll finish this meme with an appeal:
If anyone knows where I can get hold of The Bed Sitting Room and Charley Varrick on DVD (Region 2; not the US versions), PLEASE let me know.