Er …
I was just draining the potatoes and somehow contrived to spill boiling water over my foot.
It is not pretty and it fucking hurts.
If it gets any nastier I'm off to the NHS drop-in centre (I'm buggered if I'm going to wait three hours at the hospital, watching the flesh peel off).
I'll let you know the result tomorrow.
In the meantime amuse yourselves with "hopping" jokes at my expense.
Hey ho.
Fucking ow!
26 comments:
Big girls blouse.
Scars are the mark of a man.
Wash it with whisky and rub some salt on it, that will do it good.
Or maybe acetone to kill the germs?
You did say we could take the piss!
OW! Scars are one thing, but a giant burn scar is no badge of honor. Take care, Dive.
I soaked it in cold water for forty minutes and it seems to be just red and fucking hurty rather than a deep burn, so I'll head up to bed with a Dive Special cocktail of painkillers and scotch and try to sleep.
Phil: you know I don't have salt in the house.
But I do have whisky (thank fuck for that).
Robyn: the only thing I'm worried about is having to walk across London tomorrow morning with a slipper on my left foot.
I have no idea if that is a special code between you or not, but you and Full must be like a comedy act when together. Bahhaha.
Oops, I'm not at all laughing at your foot. Burns are the W-O-R-S-T and you have my complete sympathy.
I was trying to think of why your foot boiling seemed like a pain I could relate to and then I remembered. Back when I was a waiter in college I managed to somehow knock a hot pot of coffee off of my tray and the coffee pot broke beside my foot filling my shoe with coffee. I'm sure it wasn't even close to boiling but it was stinkin' hot and I screamed (from the surprise mostly) my very best horror movie shriek.
I was a "hot mess" as the youngsters are fond of saying these days.
My friends love this gigantically inappropriate scream of mine because it's always so accidental and so over the top. Jamey calls it my "a piece of tape scream" because I thought I had a bug in my shirt once and it turned out to be... just tape.
You may need to get some sunburn aloe stuff for that foot and give it a break on Tuesday. Maybe you could work from home? No potato is worth such suffering-Rats.
You'll be the only sane person in the capital wearing a single slipper.
That reminds me of the great Alan Partridge; "No-one wears slippers outdoors! Except for Doug who carries a cornish pastie around Norwich Castle Mall claiming it's a bomb. And he's mad!"
Not sure about scar tissue being the mark of a man. It's the mark of a clumsy man, I reckon.
Tablets and scotch? At least when you wake up after 3 days out cold the swelling will have gone down.
Full. That's not big and it's not clever.
Dive. Go to the hospital at once.
ditto what lynn said: GO TO THE HOSPITAL!
so sayeth the rock, sugar
xoxoxo
I fully agree. Get it looked at. A burn can get infected easily, so if you refuse to see an m.d....well...keep it scrupulously clean.
Wow Dive that sucks! I hope the painkillers and scotch helped. Not to add insult to injury, but the first lyrics I thought of when I saw your post were:
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down
Man I know you're gonna hate that. Just know that I'm not at ALL insinuating that you're a fan of disco; that's just what my brain brought up when given the word "burn."
First up: Thank you all for being so concerned. It looks like I've been lucky as it's not all stinky and infected this morning.
Shan:
We're not so much a comedy act; more Frasier and Niles Crane bitching snobbily at the world.
Yow! Your poor foot! At least it smelled of yummy coffee rather than potato water like mine.
Your "piece of tape scream" has cheered me right up this morning. Hee hee.
And yes, I slapped some aloe on last night before bed which seems to have helped.
Pea: You know me; Mister Clumsy.
And I'm chickening out of the slipper idea and will wear my baggy old gardening trainers for the city this morning.
Lynn: Sorry, but he made me laugh.
And to you and Savannah: I'd have gone to outpatients had the skin peeled or been broken, but luckily it's not as bad as I feared and is merely a big red area of pain.
I'll keep an eye on it at work and pop in to Victoria NHS should I feel the need.
Thank you for sensible advice.
Maria: It is showered and cleaned and has a fresh pad bandage on it. When I get to work I'll go barefoot and let it have some air.
Katie: I cannot thank you enough.
I was up and down all night unable to sleep and I switched on the computer at three o'clock and laughed myself stupid at "Burn. Baby. Burn. Disco Inferno"!
I went back to bed singing it.
Aah … the dark days of disco.
Vic: I am so glad it wasn't just me! Well spotted.
Owl fucking is for far more advanced students of bestiality than I … I'm still on basic puffin-frottage.
Glad to hear there's no stink or infection this morning. You singing disco at 3 am probably drove away all evil spirits waiting to attack your injury. I hope your feet are comfortable today in "baggy old gardening trainers". Fuzzy slippers would have been so much funnier though.
you know whats worse?
Boiled pumpkin that you are just about to mash.
Hot as helland it melts through your toes when you drop it leaving third degree vegie burns.
Whoever sa id vegies are good for you was a liar.
I must confess that dancing around the bedroom singing Disco Inferno was a definite help in the healing process, Katie, if only mentally.
Thank goodness I live well away from the neighbours.
I'm dressed very much like Paul Mc.Cartney on the cover of Abbey Road at the moment. I have my "meeting suit" on and bare feet.
The fuzzy slippers would not have survived a five mile walk across rainy London this morning but the trainers were baggy enough not to put pressure on my foot so I'm feeling much better now, thanks.
Boiled pumpkin?
Shit, Kate! Vegetarian napalm!
I'm going to stick to cold, raw food from now on.
I found if you sink your foot in a whole tub of natural yoghurt that hubby just happened to have tin the fridge for desert its kind of soothing until the yelling about wrecked foot fungus desert starts.
he's such a Ramsey sometimes.
You didn't make him eat the foot-flavoured yoghurt when you'd finished with it, did you Kate?
Actually, you could probably make good money selling that story to a foot and food fetish website.
Dive, if it didn't blister, you'll be ok. If, when you give it "air" it stings, wrap it up again quickly. There is some cream called silver sulphur ... oxide that is used in hospitals to cover burns to keep the air OFF burns.
If it doesn't sting, then give it some air.
You could always try the third world treatment - potato skins - I kid you not. It works.
Poor Dive. I sympathise as I am wearing a few superficial burns from the bonfire the other night. Some idiot put wire in the fire and when I fished it out with the rake, it slid down the handle and burnt my arm!!
Ow! Poor you, Mme. That must have quite put a damper on the celebrations. I do hope you're on the mend.
Mine hurts but not too bad this morning so I'll just keep an eye on it from time to time.
He made me laugh too, Dive. He always does. I was just being a bit matronly-sensible to you two mischievous boys. Typical scene. One hurts themselves, the other rolls on the floor guffawing. With 3 of my own, i know it well. lol.
It's what brothers are for, Lynn.
As you have indeed discovered with your boys.
glad you're feeling a bit better. sugar! xoxo
(now i see where today's post came from...burn, baby, burn, disco inferno...) *still chuckling here*
It made me laugh so much at three this morning that I can even forgive disco for producing it.
I remember once when I was a little girl I thought I would make my dad a cup tea while he watched the evening news. I got within 1 foot of his chair, tripped over the scatter rug and promptly dumped the whole cup of tea in he lap. Today I give him rather large applaude for not swearing at me as his balls blistered! Poor Daddy, see Dive it can always be worse.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
Holy crap, Prudence!
That's too horrifying to contemplate!
Ohhhhhh...eeeeeyoooowwwzzza!
Take care of that foot Dive - put it up and order some sexy dancing ladies to cater to your every whim while you convalesce.
I'm so crap at sexy dancing the ladies would probably tread on my foot!
I thought "draining the potatoes" was a euphemism until I read the full post. Sounds nasty, get well soon.
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