Friday, June 20, 2008

Koons Balloons Swizz

Stupid fucking newspapers!

There it was, splashed across all the papers this morning; a big, shiny, purple Jeff Koons balloon flower "on the lawn in St.James's Park, London, where it will remain on display until it is auctioned off on Monday."

So … Off I toddled to the park.
Could I find it? Could I buggery!
"Ah," said the park attendant. "It's not coming until tomorrow."
"So where did the papers get their photos?"
"Dunno … But it wasn't here."

Hey, fucking ho.
I wandered back to the office and took a closer look at the photos in the papers.
Hang on a mo … Some of the photos had buildings in the background. There are no buildings like that anywhere near the park.
This one had it sitting in the water.
The only thing sitting in the lake was a bunch of birds.
Swizz!
Fucking crap journalists!

I'm as grumpy and unimpressed as old Mister Pelican, especially as it will only be there for the weekend while I'm in Norfolk so I'll miss it.

Arse!

13 comments:

Katie said...

Well that's a total crock that poor journalism sent you out on a wild balloon sculpture chase! Sorry you'll miss it over the weekend. Funky sculpture! I once dated a guy who made balloon animals and such, and that's a real skill. Not a useful skill mind you. Making a super-sized one as an art piece is fun. Not that I'd want it in my yard or anything.

Scout said...

Sorry you missed it. I think that photo is from the flower's resting place on a private lake in Texas. I wish they would put something in the photo for scale. As much as the thing will be auctioned off for, it must be gigantic.

dive said...

Katie: At least I got to wander round St.James's Park, which is always a treat.
I once shared a dressing room for a season with a magician and his lovely assistant and they taught me how to make pornographic balloon animals.
I'm sure I've got some photos I can dig up next time I'm in the attic.

Robyn; I'll look for it again Monday morning. If it's still there, we shall find out how big it is.

savannah said...

poor form, indeed, sugar! ;-) xoxo

(koons balloons that alone is funny as all get out! )

M.Benaut said...

We have 'em down under too Monsieur, of both descriptions. Shame about political correctness, though. One could go on at length on this topic.

The (our), Mall's Balls may provide Brits. with a challenge of pronunciation, but down under we make life easy when it comes to balls.
It would, however become more complex if falcons were to apport themselves of such embellishments.
We would then struggle to make such pronunciation.

I shall endeavour to venture into Rundle Mall one day and show you the balls of the City of Adelaide. They're not half as colourful as yours, of course; - they're chromed.

Cerise is a far better colour for balls in my opinion.

peahen said...

frustrating. But thanks for posting the picture - his work has caught my eye in the past and this one is beautiful.

dive said...

Thanks, Savannah. The post title was a lot better than the post. Hey ho.
xoxox

Monsieur B: Do Aussie balls REALLY look like that?
And chromed?
Sheesh! No wonder we Poms lag behind with our pathetically wrinkled retainers.

Pea: I'm a great fan of Koons. Look him up; I have a feeling he would amuse you.
Do you not remember the giant floral puppy he installed in front of the Bilbao Guggenheim?
Fun!

MmeBenaut said...

Well, balls to that! I would have said more but I think M.B has said it all for me!

MmeBenaut said...

Balloons to that as well!

dive said...

Hee hee!

Maria said...

I don't know what the hell is the matter with me. Every time I see one of these things, I get this urge to try and pop it.

dive said...

That one's about ten feet tall and made of metal, Maria. Grab yourself a big pin and go for it!

Anonymous said...

Awwwwwww, Its so pretty.
I want one. Steal it for me.