Wednesday, December 24, 2008

And The Runners Up …

Fuck me, it's Christmas Eve!

Wars, famine, economic meltdown, the world is going down the shitter, Jesus has returned, been arrested for being a beardy arabic man and is currently in Gitmo and what are people doing about it?
Bickering about their fucking relatives because it's Christmas.

Well, bugger all that.
Here - for want of any inspiration and because after the past few days of Hell I am spending the day chilling - are a few rejects from this year's competition to become Old Dive's Christmas Card.

So if you didn't like this year's card, choose one of these for your mantelpiece:

As usual, click on them to make them bigger … er

Murillo's "Adoration of the Willie".

Caravaggio's "You should have seen the one that got away! You could have fed five thousand with it!"

An All American Christmas.

And a warning to the girls in my office.

Merry Christmas one and all!

27 comments:

savannah said...

at home today are you? ;) xoxox

bliss and delicious silence be yours, sugar!

dive said...

Thank you, Savannah.
It is indeed peaceful, though not silent as I am continuing my annual Christmas Bach-fest.
xoxox

savannah said...

i put up a christmas eve post. xoxoxo

dive said...

And very splendid it is too, Savannah. I'd advise all James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Star Wars and silly word fans to head on over to your place.

Merry Christmas!
xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna say it... ready?
MERRY CHRISTMAS DIVE!

dive said...

AUGH!

Hee hee. And a very Merry Christmas to you too, Prudence!
xox

Scout said...

Oh, you cynical, cynical man. I actually like the one with the Coke Santa, although I'm conflicted. One one hand, I think Jesus is perplexed by what has happened to his birthday. And on the other hand, I like nostalgic and sentimental images of Santa and holly and ivy and snow and all that stuff. Using Jesus' birthday to sell crap is the thing I'm not conflicted about, though.

dive said...

Cynical?
Moi?
Hee hee. Happy Christmas, Robyn.
xox

Anonymous said...

Theres a little something over at my place just for you!

Katherine said...

Scout, I'm right there with ya on the Coke and Jesus card...my favorite.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chaunakah (however you spell that) or whatever else you do or don't celebrate. Either way, take some time to giggle.

Thanks, Dive for consistent gifts of giggles throughout the year!

dive said...

Oh, Prudence. You know me too well. I laughed myself silly at that.
Hee hee hee.
Thank you and merry Christmas!
xox

Thank you, Katherine.
As long as you are giggling, I am happy.
Merry Christmas to you and the family.
xox

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Dive.

Thank your office mates for providing such fodder for your blog. I feel for you having to deal with it, but it sure makes for fun reading.

Katie said...

I like the Caravaggio, but mainly because the meal looks interesting, and I like the oriental carpet being used as a tablecloth. Blast your Bach and soon the holidays will be just a memory. Thank you for all the good cheer you've brought me this year! Have a fun day with family tomorrow and eat some of the liquor-filled cake your mom made. Yum!

dive said...

Merry Christmas to you too, Cali!

I'm feeling a bit more generous toward the office girls today as I am over a hundred miles away from the nearest one and enjoying the peace.

Merry Christmas, Katie! Have a wonderful time with your mum.
And I cannot thank you enough for coming to visit me in my rainy little country. What fun we had!
Here's to Paris in 2009!
xox

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

Have a silent night, Dive.

Do you know of women who have lesbian sex with their boss?

Merry Christmas!!!

peahen said...

Dive, forget designing schools, this is where your real talent lies. Thanks for giving us a great laugh. See you soon x

Cynthia said...

I'll never look at a religious painting again without putting a snappy irreligious title to it! You are just too much.

Thanks for all the laughs and I look forward to your 2009 blogs; esp. the ones when you and KT meet in Paris.

Force yourself to have a Merry Christmas and give your mum a hug from KT's mum.

dive said...

Rich, most of my bosses are large, middle-aged lesbians.
Merry Christmas!

Thanks, Pea! See you very soon!
x

Oops! Sorry for spoiling religious art for you Cynthia.
I can't wait to meet Katie in Paris.

Merry Christmas to you both and yes, I'll pass on a hug to mum.

Petrea Burchard said...

They're all good. I was going to go for the lesbian one until you described your bosses. And now that I've seen Cheltenham Christmas decorations on Lynn's blog you can't get me to believe Americans are the only tasteless buggers at Christmastime, so forget the Jesus/Santa card. The Willie card is my favorite this time.

Merry Christmas, in spite of yourself. Or words to that effect.

Anonymous said...

I really like those cards. Enjoy the day before Dec. 26th Dive. Food and drink all around.

Volmon said...

Is it Christmas already? Shit!

Oh well, at least that means it soon won't be.

Terroni said...

Merry Christmas, Dive.

dive said...

Merry Christmas, Petrea!
Hee hee hee. Yes, Lynn is definitely the more "traditional" side of Christmas in England.
I'm glad you liked my willie.

Shazza: I am a sick bastard and proud of it.
Merry Christmas!

Mark: Have a totally excellent day! Overindulge in everything.

Lucio: No; we had Christmas last year, they can't expect me to suffer it this year as well.
Have a great time today. You are a star for doing such good works at Christmas.

Merry Christmas, T.
Dammit; I forgot to put mistletoe up.

neetzy said...

The "cute little willie" wins my vote!

Caravaggio is too intense to do Christmas cards, but the F word suits him!

Enjoy your day away from the assholes at work!

dive said...

My willie does seem to be popular today, Neetzy.

Maria said...

I never aspired to be a large middle aged lesbian.

But now that I am fifty, I suppose that I must admit to being maybe not large, but certainly wrinkly. So, I am a wrinkly, middle aged lesbian.

How the hell did that happen?

dive said...

It happens to us all, Maria. I am almost there; I'm wrinkly and middle-aged, so all I've got left to do is the lesbian bit.