Sunday, January 11, 2009

Has Anyone Seen Dive?

Where the fuck is that dickwad?
I need him here to write this blog as I am crap at it.
Without him it turns into a lame-o diary blog.

Today I vacuumed and dusted and polished and re-arranged books and did some "work" work and scrubbed the cooker and washed the kitchen floor (and then walked on it in my socks and got cold, wet feet) and I'm bored shitless and I've still got the car to wash, the ironing to do and dinner to make.
Thank goodness it's freezing and too cold to mow the lawn.

How on earth do people find any time to sit in front of a TV?

If anyone finds Dive would you please stick a stamp on his forehead and mail the bastard back here? He has an appointment for an arse-kicking.
Thank you.

23 comments:

savannah said...

ok, i know this wasn't the point of your post, but how the hell do you wash a car in the cold? xoxo

if i see dive, sugar, i think i'll tell him to relax and enjoy his break.

dive said...

With a bucket and a sponge and soapy water and a chamois leather, Savannah.
And yes, I got cold and wet but at least the car is black again instead of grey.
xoxo

Anonymous said...

By the way,if the earth is clayey
you may do tiles

savannah said...

and i thought i was the literal one, sugar! ;) xoxox

(although, on second thought, i did phrase that enquiry incorrectly...)

savannah said...

yes, i am attempting to learn english english, as opposed to the american english i normally speak just for you! *smiling*

Anonymous said...

Please tell Dive that he is do to make a recipe post soon.

Anonymous said...

That last post was from me.

Maria said...

Ah, Dive...you would be so disgusted at the condition of my home. We only dust when we can write in it....

Anonymous said...

Savannah is right: "earth"is wrong
Better to write:if the"ground"is..
isn'It Dive?

Volmon said...

Dive won't be back for a while. I've just left him at the Japanese restaurant where we had dinner. I believe he is still drunkenly regaling a pair geishas with pornographic allusions to his sushi.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

I know, Dive, I've hardly been still all weekend. I often have the tv on though so I get to see my selected programmes in bits as I whizz through or I jump up in the adverts to carry on the drudge. Reading a book is the real challenge for me, as you have to be still for it. Only time for that is bedtime.

Shazza said...

I thought I saw someone that looked a lot like you roaming aimlessly around the mountains of Pennsyltucky uttering something like "come on yankees, show me what you got."

You'd get your arse kicked for sure!

Stay safe!

savannah said...

*wondering if the dive who isn't dive will cringe when he reads that sloppy typo that potentially could change the meaning of my earlier comment*

neetzy said...

Since Dive is missing,

I've been gleefully cooking with instant "stock cubes".

Oh Blogger friends...let's highjack Dive's site and put on some casserole recipes using "Cream of Mushroom" soup.

Does anyone have a "spam" recipe?

Wahaha.

savannah said...

Baked SPAM® Classic
Things will never be the same again.

Serves 6 Easy
Heat oven to 375°F. Place SPAM® on rack in shallow baking pan. Score surface; stud with cloves. In small bowl, combine sugar, water, mustard, and vinegar, stirring until smooth. Brush over SPAM®. Bake 20 minutes or until hot and lightly browned, basting often. Slice to serve.
Ingredients

o 1 can (12-ounce) SPAM® Classic
o 1 tablespoon whole cloves
o 1/3 cup firmly-packed brown sugar
o 1 teaspoon water
o 1 teaspoon prepared mustard

Katie said...

Savannah the Spam recipe sounds pretty good, but shouldn't there be some crushed potato chips or Fritos or something on top? I think this would pair well with Diet Dr. Pepper.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Neetzy how deliciously naughty!
Let's put up a tv in the corner and dish out mobile phones to all, to keep in touch loudly and obscenely all over the gaff.
We can do what we want now! No more boiled fish, I'll bake some and we can share it out with some instant oven chips. How about that? Those ladies who desire, can dress in Jane Austen attire and speak in that ilk. Though we'll keep it clean and tidy, we won't spend all weekend slaving and, shock horror, we won't iron any man's underpants. Yay! While the cat's away, how the mice will play. What tip-top fun, what-ho.

savannah said...

katie...absolutely! that was the basic baked spam recipe! ;) even better than dr. pepper, diet dr. pepper! i'l call you on your mobile later! ;) in fact, we should have a conference call with lynn! what say you? xoxo
(omg! was that, like enough !!!!!?)

dive said...

Anonymous: the earth is kind of earthy round here. No clay, fortunately.

Savannah: I thrive on typos.
And what a delicious SPAM recipe! I used to love that stuff when I was a kid. Which is probably how I turned out this way.

Anonymous and Mark: Dive has posted a recipe of sorts today but he's not at his best at the moment so I can only apologise.

Maria: Somehow, with Bing the Towel-Straightener in the house I do not believe you. Hee hee.

Lucio: I WISH!

Lynn: Are you going to fess up to what these "selected programmes" might be?

Hi, Shazza: I found Dive. They would never let him in to the US.

Neetzy: I heard that!

Katie: Just wait 'til Paris!

Lynn: Mister Spanky the paddle is twitching in your general direction.

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

I heard he's in the US helping George Bush pack.

dive said...

Hee hee hee!

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

he he I shouldn't be excited but I kind of am.

Ok the selection of programmes are: News - always news, news and more news. I'm a news junkie.
Any BBC period drama pretty much. Or other than BBC too.
Documentaries - I like history, science.
LOST (series 5 approaching, yay!)
Ok and now I'll spoil it. Occasionally I'll check on Big Brother. I know what you're thinking. It's a psychological experiment. I like it for its socio-psychological academic study. Pah! It's my one weakness. Wink.

dive said...

Thank you, Lynn.
I'll go along with the news thing. I like to check the headlines at five in the morning.

Beeb cozzie-dramas are too much like soaps. Radio 4 does them much better. It doesn't add crappy re-written endings or try to shoehorn "issues" in there.
And of course the picture is always so much better on the radio (and in a book).

TV documentaries used to be good in the days of Jacob Bronowski but whenever I've caught one in recent years they seem to be nothing but stupid music and jump-cuts and over-excited deep-voiced men gasping sub-Dan Brown conspiracy crap as if it were real.
Give me Melvyn Bragg's "In Our Time" or indeed any other Radio 3 or 4 documentary/discussion. They actually tell me things rather than make me want to smash my TV.

As for Lost and Big Brother … You know how disappointed I am.