Stupid bloody trains.
They got me home just in time for bed last night, so I've not had the time to go through all the weekend's photos and do another Car Porn post.
Yesterday the sun was shining so we started with "heat-related speed restrictions" being imposed and then the signals failed all over the place, the trains that had to sit in the sun broke down and the whole crappy system ground to a halt.
This happens every week of every summer.
In the winter we have "the wrong kind of snow", in the autumn, "leaves on the line" and in spring, "reduced track adhesion" (it's raining).
This morning they added a new excuse to their lame lateness list: "Llamas on the line".
You heard …
Llamas.
Fifty minutes late because creatures from Patagonia had come over here for their holidays and decided to do a bit of train-spotting.
Llamas!
For fuck's sake.
Thank goodness I'll be working from home tomorrow and Thursday.
16 comments:
Uh? You may have to say that one more time...
Llamas, Lynn.
Bloody Llama farmers. What a stupid thing to farm. Surly, argumentative, spitty creatures, like woolly Chavs. If I were driving the train I'd run the bastards over.
incredible, sugar, absolutely incredible! what next? locusts? xoxoxo
Hee hee hee! Ooooh, the thought of bringing down Biblical plagues upon my rail operator is mouth-wateringly delicious, Savannah!
xoxox
Llamas and tigers and bears, oh my!
Llamas. That's almost worthy of a headline or two.
TGIW & T. (I think I just coined a new acronym!)
Now even the Llamas are suicidal? Ah man, what's this world coming to?! Sleep in a smidge tomorrow to recoup the stress Dive. ;)
Invasive llamas invade England! Sounds like a World News Weekly headline posted next to "I was artificially inseminated by a turkey baster". My filthy rich sister-in-law wanted to raise the spitters, but thankfully she settled on horses.
Your commute would drive me to drink! (Wait, I already drink.) Llamas on the Line sounds like a bad sitcom. At least you get to work at home a few days a week!
Llamas?! I LOVE IT! How random! I cant wait to to go England; (minus the spontaneuous train hold ups).
OMG, I laughed and laughed at your train travails today. You are just too much. I have a mental picture of the mild-mannered llamas, quietly chewing whatever it is that they chew, whilst sitting on the train tracks, delaying Dive, so that he'd have something to write about.
Looking forward to tomorrow's adventure!
As no-one's done the obvious one: "I didn't get where I am today by moaning about exotic animals holding up the trains".
Hee hee, Maria. Damn, I wish I could just click my heels together instead of suffering the commute from hell to get home.
Mme: TG indeedy!
Shan: If you take Llamas away from their beloved Andes and force them to go to Essex it's no wonder they're suicidal.
Sleeping in gives me a headache.
Neetzy: Dammit! Even turkey basters get more action than me!
Horses are lovely; llamas are foul-tempered and spitty. She made the right decision, even though shearing horses is no easy task and horsehair sucks compared to alpaca in a sweater.
Katie: I must confess that my first sip of wine after a commute home is heavenly!
Espressohead: England is like all the worst bits of the world crammed together in a very small room. We are a tiny and overcrowded island. Hugely expensive, too.
And grumpy.
Avoid us like the plague.
Cynthia: Llamas eat anything, train track included.
I think the only reason I've survived the seven hour a day commute from hell for so many years is basic stupidity.
And a bit of a death wish. One day soon my old heart's gonna pop running up the escalators to catch the train home.
Hey ho.
Pea: You are the only one! And hey, don't forget that my boss is also "CJ", so yesterday I could (and did) say to him "Fifty minutes late … Llamas on the line at Stowmarket."
Hee hee hee. Hoorah for Reggie Perrin!
Llamas on the line! That's the best one yet.
What a lovely, llama poem, Dive!
Suddenly, I feel like spitting.
Hee hee, you two!
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