At least it can after I've woken screaming in the middle of the night, chipped the car out of a solid block of ice, driven to the station and endured several hours on an unheated train in sub-zero temperatures.
Sometimes I walk along the Embankment, watching the Thames roll by as the sun comes up; other times I take a couple of tubes out to Green Park and wander in to work through Green Park and St.James's Park.Either way is nice. It takes the sting out of the commute.
This is the lake in St.James's Park yet again. I love photographing it.
And here is the bizarre, gloriously overblown confection of the Victoria Monument out the front of the Parasite house.There she sits, watching the traffic jams along The Mall.
How our Empire has fallen …
Victoria was once Empress of India … Now that's just the name of a curry house a few minutes walk from here.
Yet another view of the Parasite House. Ick.
And just across the road is Horseguards' Barracks. This is the Queen's alarm clock. A bunch of un-horsed Horseguards square-bashing and shouting and banging a bloody great drum.Boy, do they make a racket!
But then it all comes unstuck …All the pretty scenery and nice, refreshing thoughts of regicide come crashing down when I enter the office and am faced by my nemesis …
The fucking singing reindeer.
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH …
He watches me all day and sings crappy Christmas songs at me.
He is the source of so much misery.
He is the reason I hunch, sobbing over my desk.
Until next Friday …
Next Friday I will abduct him, burn him and hurl the flaming (and still singing) remains into the Thames.
You've got a week to live, sucker! Hehehehehehehe …
Exits, cackling like a mad hag …
16 comments:
You certainly win many awards, Dive.
Rising at 3 in the morning to thaw out the tyres, freezing your thing off on that endless train trip, and then giving us the pleasure of St. James Park...
Those horseless guards look to be about 13. Maybe too young to get a horse drivers licence ?
The Fiat Bambino ? More character than the rest put together.
Try doing it in one of those, mate, you'll feel like an Italian !!
'Niente di rischiato, niente ha guadagnato'
"Niente di rischiato, niente ha guadagnato", Monsieur B … except maybe a bad back, and cramp in some surprising places.
I used to ride about in a little orange one of those; nicknamed "the Clockwork Orange" as it broke down on a daily basis.
Like most Europeans, my years of teenage furtive activity were spent in very small cars, which is why my back is shot to hell.
I loooooooove him! :D Come on, I was thinking of buying you a red hat, with sparkly bits and flashing lights :D
It's Thursday today! Maybe I'll run into you while I'm doing my last minute shopping. I fly out tomorrow!
joy
Norwich Daily Photo
The Goddess In You
Your Love Coach
Wow! I'm just back from Norwich, Joy; I had my meeting early today.
Rats!
Have a safe flight with no delays and a totally wonderful holiday!!!!!!
Happy Christmas to you and Thom!
XOX
so, this reindeer--is he motion sensitive or do you have to push the little red thing in his ear to make him sing? Does he sing Jingle Bell Rock by any chance?
He is activated by pulling his scarf. All it requires is a room full of giggly secretaries (which unfortunately I have) to make the damned thing sing all day.
He sings "We wish you a merry Christmas", … all four verses and all four choruses.
And he sings it in a "humorous" voice, which sounds for all the world like Barney Gumble from The Simpsons. I keep expecting to hear his sonorous belch at the end of each chorus.
It is maddening in the extreme!
why hold off for a week? If I came across that horrid thing in my office, it would be jettisoned to the furnaces tout de suite!
I don't relish being lynched by secretaries.
Yep I totally agree. I'd kill that reindeer simply because of that dopey look on its face. Can we have pics of the ritual burning and pitching?
This started out as such a promising post and on the positive but again ole dive reeels us in to his world of Hum Bug scrooge
Ah, the ritual burning. Gayman would be so proud of you. We still have the scorch mark in the back yard from burning the cut-out Pink Panther that my ex-girlfriend left behind.
Tell the secretaries you wiped your hands on it's scarf because there were no towels in the bathroom. They'll leave it alone then.
Thanks, dive! It's 324am and I'm still up. Thought I'd swing by your blog for a bit of buzz :D
See, if you had a mobile phone, I could have rung you and we could have had coffee or tea together!
Ok, must sleep and wake up in an hour.
I will catch you in Manila - online.
Don't be too Scrooge-y! :D
And will pass on your message to Thom.
joy
Norwich Daily Photo
The Goddess In You
Your Love Coach
Hee hee, Vic. Evil, but a great idea.
Joy: Have a great flight and a fabulous holiday.
Catch you in Manila!
And one can never be too Scroogey. Hee hee.
I think you should bring a statue of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer in to the office to taunt him. Because Rudolph has that big red nose and he just has a small brown one.
Reindeer nose envy.....
I'll be eating reindeer steak at Christmas.
That'll show the little bastard.
Hee hee. We don't have snow like that any more, Jules. Last big snowfall was back in the 1970s.
And I don't miss it a bit.
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