I stole this from Tiina's blog, though it has been infused with a tincture of humbug from last year's Christmas meme, too.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
This year, hemp carrier bags they can use for shopping.
2. Real tree or artificial?
None.
3. When do you put up the tree?
Duh! Didn't you read the last answer?
4. When do you take the tree down?
Double-duh!
5. Do you like eggnog?
Of course I don't. It is the suckle of Beelzebub and looks like vomit even before it's sicked back up again.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
A microscope from my parents when I was six. I still have it. You can look at so many gross things with a microscope; all kids should have one.
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, but Stouffer has been trying to persuade me to buy some really tacky, light-up religious figurines from the lunatic evangelist websites and some bizarre and inappropriate animals and make some kind of obscene tableau for the front window to scare kids with.
Maybe next year.
8. Hardest person to buy for?
Me. Because it's so difficult to surprise myself. Though my habit of getting an idea just before I drop off to sleep and quickly ordering stuff off the internet helps, because I go straight back to bed and forget that I ordered it. The upshot being that postie quite often brings me delightful surprises … and an occasional box of "what the fuck is this crap?"
9. Easiest person to buy for?
Me. Book token.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A (and this is true. I just wish I hadn't trashed it as I don't have a photo to startle you with) bisque, revolving musical Pierrot a foot high. Hi, Sally. What the fuck were you thinking?
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
A blog card. And this year's will be a doozy. I made it last night.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Any old black and white sentimental hooey.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Too late, as always.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
No, but I've trashed quite a few.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Reindeer.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Actually, I would have done a sweary bit at this one except that Peahen had such a wonderful idea for tree decoration that I can only say read this and then copy it.
17. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa just eats all the goodies and drinks the sherry that's left out, then goes upstairs and peers creepily at your children.
And he doesn't employ elves; that's just a cover up. All his production these days is done by child labour hired out from GAP while the Fat Man wields the whip.
18. Travel for Christmas or stay at home?
Stay in, lock the door, mute the phone, drink 'til it's all over.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
No, but I can eat them.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Oh, for fuck's sake.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning around eleven, for no particular reason.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
The fact that it happens every year.
23. What I love most about Christmas?
Looking back from the safety of January and saying "Thank fuck that's all over for another year."
24. Do you hang mistletoe?
Only in effigy. I'm way too ugly to get a kiss at Christmas.
25. Favourite holiday memory as a child?
The fell winter of 1963. The snow was a mile deep and we had proper snowmen and proper snowballs and proper sledges, not the crap we have now with global warming.
26. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I am Santa Claus.
27. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Nope. That's just greed. Besides, I only get two gifts these days, so it would be kinda stupid.
28. Can you ice skate?
Yes, if you allow for lots of falling over and cursing. Our office goes ice skating every Christmas at Somerset House by the Thames. Mostly this involves watching the girls fall over while getting drunk at the side of the rink.
29. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Not having to set the alarm clocks for 4:40am and commute for seven fucking hours every bloody day.
30. What is your favourite holiday tradition?
Wandering around the city, pointing and laughing at Christmas shoppers as they try desperately not to have a nervous breakdown and kill their children.
31. Which do you prefer; giving or receiving?
Giving makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and smug. Receiving generally involves covering my disappointment with a fake smile and insincere thanks for some piece of tat bought with no thought whatsoever … so "giving".
32. What is your favourite Christmas Song?
Fairytale of New York: The Pogues with the late and sorely missed Kirsty Mc.Coll.
33. Candy Canes! yuck or yummy?
Yuck!
20 comments:
I must confess I was guessing on 33, T; I've never had any.
You've never had a candy cane? YOU'VE NEVER HAD A CANDY CANE? On #24, you are so wrong. Hang it by the singing reindeer and see what happens.
Will this grinch like behaviour go on until the 25th?
Hey, I might do this meme, and only to be expected - my answers will be extremely different from yours :D
So how's Norwich?
We're off tomorrow to white sand beaches and aqua blue waters. Check it out - Shangrila Mactan. I'll be away from my desktop for 4 days, but will try to keep in touch!
joy
Norwich Daily Photo
The Goddess In You
Your Love Coach
No, Robyn; I've never had a candy cane.
I've also never had a Mc.Donalds or a KFC or a Wendy or a Pizza Hut or indeed any other traditional American fare.
I don't think I've missed much.
And I'm afraid I'm correct on number 24.
Kate: I'm a creature of habit. I'll get worse and worse right up until the whole miserable affair is over for another year.
Joy: Hee hee. You are too young to be this cynical.
And Norwich is freezing cold and pitch dark at the moment. Not quite the same as Manila, I'll wager!
Sun rises at about 530am and sets around 530pm - in the summer, which is between March and June, sun rises around 5am and sets around 615pm. Pretty much even really - which I love!
Glad I could make your day! :D
Gosh, it's 221am and the taxi bringing us to the airport will be here in 2 hours! I bet catch some z's.
joy
Norwich Daily Photo
The Goddess In You
Your Love Coach
i wish you lived near us, sugar! i need a companion grinch this year!!! the best part of this season for me is it's all a runup to MY BIRTHDAY!
Sleep well, Joy.
Make the most of the lovely weather.
Savannah: at long last a real reason to celebrate this time of year.
I predict the Norwich Reindeer is about to be cannibalized by the Rabaul Crocodile.
Hi, Dive-
My first time posting at your place. I had to tell you that I love your Grinchy attitude. Please keep it up.
I soooo agree with a lot of this except 28 - how can you skate on an ice cube tray???
Need some time to think about this. Aaaaah maybe the ice is in the esky that would be easier!!!!
My post today is deicated to you!!!
Hee, hee!!!
whoops i mean dedicated - looked like I'd turned you into some deity!!
....well it is on the cards!!!
M Benaut - I just read your comment - I'm stunned - How the bloody hell did you know!!!!
Monsieur B: I am as astonished as Jules! How did you know?
Kate: Welcome! You should read last year's posts if you wanna see Grinchy. Boy, was I a miserable bastard!
And I love your "drachma in the Christmas pud" post. Hee hee.
Jules: Once more I genefluct unworthily in the general direction of PNG.
What a croc!!!
I am humbled.
Dive - Hee, hee his name is now Dive!!
I have searched the house for hidden cameras but found only a few apple cores and bones (the croc has been busy???) so I still don't know how the buggar knew - unless he snuck a look at my post and then whizzed over here like he knew nothing - typical - can't trust the bloody French - especially when they're pretending to be Australians!!
Hee hee. He's a sly one, Jules.
And I am deeply honoured to have such a marvellous creature share my name.
Thank you!
The French know a lot about stuff. That's why mouths are so important. Europeans use their mouths for most everything. The French language is spoken as if you were smiling or going to kiss someone. When it comes to eating or putting something in the gob, who does it better than the French, I ask you?
Aussies, on the other hand, they keep their mouths closed when they speak. That's to keep the flies out, and also to preserve the Aussie accent.
Try saying, 'no worries, mate'.
Most folk wouldn't have a clue, but we communicate in this way.
Grunting, or so it may sound, is all in the inflection.
At a drive-in theatre, who needs to make long parliamentary speeches. Grunting is good.
Americans, on the other hand, are more multi-dextrous.
They can eat, shout, masticate and order seven tons of french fries while educating other people's children, - and French waiters from seven blocks away.
That's the mouth open style, and it works reeeeal good over there.
At tourist resorts in Australia, you can buy hearing aids that are turned off, and they're quite cheap.
Cannibalism, is something different again. It probably started with the first Norfolk convicts to PNG.
Perhaps, Dive, you may clarify this one for us. Is it something that only happens in Rabaul, around Christmas?
It's all in the mouth, I reckon. It would be a waste? otherwise !
MMM … MM … MMMPH!
Lotrs of maus wara I say!!!
I can lose the candy canes, but I do like rum balls and fudge...of course, being diabetic means I either just take one bite or else run the risk of going into a lovely diabetic coma in front of everyone. Ah, good times. Good times.
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