Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot …
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Kinda crap as a poem, but any day when the whole country celebrates religious extremists trying to blow up Parliament gets my vote.
Hmm … what's wrong with that picture?
An oddly schizophrenic mood grips our crowded little island this weekend.
Here's uncle Tony ripping up human rights legislation, stomping all over civil liberties and privacy, and shooting innocent people, in a vain attempt to stop religious extremists from blowing shit up …
… while the rest of the country celebrates that very same act with an orgy of explosions, huge fires and burning effigies.
All very civilised …
I had intended to moan and gripe about the gangs of little shits who roam the streets in the early hours, setting off the loudest fireworks they can find and stopping me or anyone else getting any sleep from mid-october until the new year.
But then I remembered the more "innocent" days of my youth.
Fireworks were harder to come by (at least the ones which made a really good BANG), so we made fertilizer bombs …
This was before the IRA's rather larger scale devices made it illegal for thirteen year old kids to buy fertilizer over the shelf (yet perfectly legal for adult Irish Republicans … never did figure that one out).
But, I'm ashamed to say, having started by blowing a friend's lovely working steam engine to smithereens, we went on to gleefully blow up gullypots and drainage culverts, a telephone box (that was fun) and - to my eternal regret - a rather large tree.
The tree put a stop to it. I like trees.
These days, when Uncle Tony's gung-ho boys in blue shoot people for riding on a tube train, we would probably be holidaying in Guantanamo by now.
No idea what this post is rambling on about really. But as Yoda and the NaBloPoMo posse seem to be putting the pressure on, I thought I'd better post something.
So, Happy … er … Setting Fire To Stuff, Burning Effigies And Making Explosions In Celebration Of Religious Extremists Trying To Blow Up Parliament Day.
Now I'm off to watch V For Vendetta again (I would read the graphic novel instead, but I like looking at Natalie Portman [Kundsen would understand]).
7 comments:
I should read up on this "festival," if that's what you would call it. Maybe in a mild sense, our July 4th has similar elements, but those celebrations usually revolve around picnics, community fireworks, and beer. This last year, we had barbequed ribs at the lake with a group of friends and then went out on the pontoon boat to watch the fireworks over the hillside. Quite different from what you're describing.
The irony in your post isn't lost on me, but I'm focusing on the ways the motherland celebrates things that are unfamiliar to me.
Okay, Robyn; a brief history of one of our more barbaric celebrations: November, 1605; the state opening of Parliament. King James I, his family and all of Protestant Parliament where there, whooping it up as only the aristocracy can.
A bunch of English Catholics intended to blow the whole lot up, kidnap the royal children, then try to start a religious revolt and restore the Catholic monarchy.
There followed much rounding up and torturing (a fine tradition, now carried on by Uncle George using the kidnapping of suspects and "extraordinary rendition" to countries where torture is carried out for him by proxy).
The failure of the plot is celebrated annually by building huge bonfires and burning Guido Faulks (Guy Fawkes, as he has become - the conspirator caught with the gunpowder barrels in the cellars of the Houses of Parliament) in effigy and setting off military quantities of fireworks.
We also eat baked potatoes, cooked in the fire, and drink until we fall over.
As I said; all very civilised …
Enjoy your Natalie Portman.
It sounds like grand fun. One of my friends had a potato launcher---that was fun.
I went to a fun party last night (perhaps a post later), and I'm still happy, so I'm leaving the politics alone for the time being.
It was American history at one time but the anti catholic sentiment ruined all of that.
Natalie Portman makes me feel like a pedo, all wrong, damn that film Leon, (The professional in the states)
Hi Sassy. Glad you enjoyed your party.
Guy Fawkes night over here isn't exactly fun these days. Insurance companies have made it prohibitively expensive to have nice little neighbourhood events, so it's all these huge, mega-displays which cost a fortune to get in and then they rip you off.
Hey there Old K!
Hmmm … Natalie Portman may be decorative now she's older, but Leon was needlessly disturbing in places.
As for non-pædo little girls in movies, my favourite was Christina Ricci playing Wednesday Addams. That bit in the second movie where they get her to smile has to be the scariest moment in cinema history … Brr …
Being half brit, we used to hold a Guy Fawkes party in my spacious back yard every year so the american neighbors could have an excuse to come party. Bonfire, stuffy guy to burn, ass kicking barbecue, the works. I miss those days.
Natalie portman looks like a 12 year old...someone help me out, I dont see the appeal. And my tastes run both ways, too.
Hi, Tai.
If you ever evolve into a middle aged man, you'll know.
If not; believe me, you're not missing anything …
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