"It Is Said That Above Oblivion's Tide There Is A Pier".
I'd like to know precisely by whom that is said, Emily. I have a feeling that same person's descendents now write for Wikipedia …
I speculated to Lucio that if the pier were anything like my own local piers a leap into Oblivion's tide would seem a less depressing option than the alternative soul-destroying mélange of carny creepiness and washed-up celebs performing endless, purgatorial floor-shows redolent with desperation.
For any of you who were not around for my ancient series of photoposts called "Coast" (actually, mostly a breathtakingly beautiful stroll along my local littoral but with a stop-off in today's off-season tourist Hell) here are a few photos of the pier that would make a leap into Oblivion's tide look so tempting …
Oblivion welcomes you with open arms.
Fab!
For fun, you can stand (or bring your own chair) in a freezing, windswept concrete hutch and gaze out over Oblivion's Tide.
Alternatively, for a small fee you can watch Oblivion's wind turbines go round and round …… or look at a man looking at a fishing rod.
Fun! ………… yay.
There are carny rides in Oblivion.Enticing, eh?
If the tacky delights of Long John's Showbar fail to tempt you, you can venture inside Romany Petulengro's authentic … er … gypsy caravan, cross her palm with silver and she'll tell you that your future lies in a despairing leap from the pier into Oblivion's welcoming tide.
Before plunging into Oblivion's icy embrace any gourmands amongst you might feel drawn to a last meal of fish and chips, served - dripping with stale cooking oil and little burnt bits - with a "Pukka Pie", whatever the fuck that might be.The vom-stain on the pavement outside shows that at least one customer was brave enough to ingest this foul fare, though it appears to escaped before he could get too far.
Pleasure … apparently.
Ah, the mystical east beckons in the form of a mechanical camel race with hugely offensive racist overtones.
Baywatch this is not.
My favourite ride on the whole pier.Pitiful, isn't it?
"American Highway."
"£1.50 for a long ride."
Ah, the wide open spaces of the west open before my ragtop '65 Mustang as I put pedal to the metal and roar off down Route 66 with the wind in my hair and Thelma and Louise bickering in the back seat.
And a painting of a gay policeman in a miniskirt looming over me for some reason …
For fuck's sake, not even Hell itself has rides as pathetic as this one.
Despair overwhelms me …
California … sigh.I can do all the California Dreaming I like but around here this is the only place it will get me.
Hey ho. Looks like Oblivion is the only way to go.
Let's take a running jump off the end of the pier …
Ready?
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo
(splash).
34 comments:
Dear Despairing Dive,
As Katie isn't available - at least not at the moment - to play the IGCF (International Good Cheer Fairy), I, her understudy, will take on the role for one, poorly rehearsed performance.
Firstly, however, I need to jump to Emily's defense by stressing that I tweaked her line by adding the words, "It is said that...", suggesting, "it is said by Ms Dickinson".
Secondly, I should quote the poem in full, for the benefit of those who don't know it and can't be bothered to find it on the internet:
Above Oblivion's Tide there is a Pier
And an effaceless "Few" are lifted there -
Nay - lift themselves - Fame has no Arms -
And but one smile - that meagres Balms -
I interpret this as a poem about those "few", as ED puts it, who elevate themselves above the "oblivion" that will, in time, if it hasn't already, engulf the vast, mindless masses that swarm across the face of the third rock from the sun. I hope I'm not too far off the mark in my reading, just as I hope I am supported by everyone who reads your blog on a regular basis that you are one of Emily's "few".
Granted, your name may not be up in lights anywhere, but your virtual presence in our lives lights them up like no one else can.
Fourthly, be kind to yourself, buddy.
Assistant IGCF, Lucio {:-})
Ah, you are - as ever - too kind, young Lucio.
However, given my knowledge of what piers are actually like (especially if one has to share the pier with a bunch of worthy "saved" folk), Oblivion would be merciful so I'm off to take a running jump!
Yay!
*engulfed*
I held back on the praise, Dive.
Great Yarmouth isn't all that bad :D I jest. But really it's not!
Seriously, it is depressing, but it does come back to life in the summer. And I for one look forward to the gypsy fortune teller on Regent Road. Come with! :D
By the way, not that I think you did, but I don't ever want you to diss Miss Dickinson - ever. :)
It is said (in this case, by Lucio) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxo0lsJnx-U&feature=related
~ Assistant to the Assistant IGCF
Joy: Great Yarmouth is almost bearable in the winter when it is utterly deserted; in summer it is an stinking tourist tat hell on earth.
And you know you'll never get me to visit any kind of fortune teller without a gun.
As for Ms. Dickinson; I would never dream of dissing her; the wild women of Blogville like her too much to let me get away with that.
Many thanks, T, but I have no idea what's on the video yet as I am at the orifice and those things are blocked here.
I'll check it out when I get home.
Oh, I can remember that California sign appearing from nowhere when we were driving around Norfolk on our break. It was a very overcast, grim day which only made it seem even more out of place.
Great Yarmouth is positively lively compared to some of the South East coast resorts, which are awful. You'd love them.
Hee hee, Betty. What is it about England's grimly awful holiday resorts that is so attractive?
I suppose a childhood diet of Bognor Regis, Skegness and Blackpool instils the kind of peculiarly English perversion that makes fathers say "Maui? Maui? Bugger that! Holidays should be all about suffering! We're going to Bognor!"
I still shudder at the memory of packing up windbreaks, raincoats, brollies and scarves for the Easter hols. No swimming trunks or suncream for us; we're English and we're determined to suffer for it!
Gosh that is indeed quite depressing Dive. Gosh. What can I say? Um...these things have their place in life?
Lynn: these things have their place not in life but in the raging fires of Hell and nobody should be made to take their holidays in them.
We English are so perverse at times.
I'm having deja vu. Have you posted about this before?
I'm still coming to grips with interpreting the poem.
Lucio is doing an excellent impression of our "missing in action" Katie.
California Dreaming ???
And Dive dearest, you are off to gay Paree in October?
Well spotted, Mme. I never pass up the opportunity to re-hash old rubbish when I don't have time to write a proper post. Hee hee.
Katie is "missing in Missouri" at a film festival.
Our original and genuine California (accept no upstart Colonial copy) is close to me and it never fails to remind me the weather here is crap and that I need to be in the Colonial version.
Yes, I should be off to Gay Paree in October. Amongst other things Katie and myself intend to visit Rue Louis Braille and feel for lumps.
OK, my dear pal Dive. This series was depressing the first time around. Now having relived it, it just plain dismal. Isn't there such a thing as a peaceful pier in "Britannia Fun?" Something more pristine and unspoiled?
Too depressing
Too sad
To forget
Don't look at it anymore
Hello from Montana!! (Where did you get the idea I was in Missouri? Oh right, all those "M" states are interchangeable.) Anyhoo, I just LOVE this series of photos!! This place doesn't look depressing at all, especially in winter with no pesky people about. The signage photo ops alone would make this place worth a visit for me. The Fab snack shop sign is awesome! I love the endless empty beach photo - makes me want to take off running and screaming and laughing until I collapse. Then I'd make a sand angel.
And no need to dream about California at the moment -- it's cold and there are endless storms coming in off the Pacific.
Thanks Lucio and Terroni for picking up the slack while I'm basking in the Montana sun on vacation and not able to do my Fairy duties. I'll add that Dive I think all you need is a vacation. I was almost at wits end with work and stress and now I'm somewhere different and things are looking up again (and I even came to a cold snowy place, and you know how much I dislike cold and snow). Even if you just stay home and rearrange your books, you need time away from your normal routine. So listen to the IGCF and request some time off from work. Pronto!
I'll stop back as soon as I can to check up on you. Now go listen to The Go-Go's singing Vacation.
My dear pal Robyn. This series is happy and cheerful! Look at the bright blue skies; look at the pretty colours; look at the wonderful lack of shitty tourists! The pier is at its most peaceful in February. It's at the height of the summer season that it gets truly depressing.
You too, Anonymous? No way is this a depressing post! Hee hee.
Okay, so maybe "American Highway" isn't the most fun in the world but hey, at least the sun is shining.
Ah! The vacationing absentee checks in. Hi, Katie. Sorry I got Missoula and Missouri muddled; I can only remember US place names where you've nicked them off us, like Boston or … er … California. Hee hee.
At last, someone sees the funny side of my post! Yay!
I must confess the FAB snack sign is one of my favourite photos on the entire blog. So minimalist and yet tacky and kitsch. Utterly despairing yet strangely hilarious.
If ever you visit Norfolk in winter we will definitely hit the out of season resorts; they are a gold mine of faded signage and inappropriate juxtapositions.
And I'd love to see you do a sand angel; your snow angel in today's post was awesome!
Yay for laughing at despair. Come on, the rest of you; get with it. I'll bet some of you even find The Smiths depressing when in reality they are one of the funniest bands ever.
Sigh …
I love these barron scenes. Where in Summer are filled with lovers strolling and kids screaching with joy.
When Katie IGCF leaves California, the weather turns bad (they do need the rain and, er, snow). She must be the the H in the weather high pressure. The weather will improve when she returns at the very end of the week.
I'd like to see the tide come in over that flat flat beach.
Well, I thought it was funny but sometimes I find humor a bit too easily and forget about the poignant. Even at funerals(though I've only been to a few) I tend to latch on to any bits of material that I can turn into comedy later. It's just self protection.
I've been to Santa Cruz before which is somewhere near Katie in Cali. Is that what you are comparing this too. Back then('88 or so) I was totally into the vampire movie Lost Boys with Keiffer Sutherland and I think part of it was filmed there. I loved the retro feel of that place!!
I also enjoy drive-in movie theaters for the same reason.
p.s. I like the safety factor of that beach. It looks like you could be on the beach but still a mile from the water. Baha
This post brings my dreams of romantic Britain into focus, especially since you dream of California. (Katie is your representative from the northern part of the state, I'll speak for southern California.) Just as California is not all sun, movie stars and babes in bikinis, apparently Britain is not all castles and romantic walks on the moors now, is it?
"American Highway" cracks me up.
I meant to comment on the coastal wind turbines. We (Rhode Island) are going to join the more modern world by having a few of these off our coast, too. We have one in use at a local school and another under construction at our high school. Tomorrow we'll watch the second tower section being lifted into place.
Thank God Katie is NOT in Missouri. ("Misery" as the locals call it.) Montana is an incredibly beautiful state.
I kinda like that Pleasure Beach. I have some fond memories of being pleasured on a beach.
I don't find it depressing either. I find it kind of somber. And I DO SO want to get my fortune told. I have had mine told seven times and all seven times said that I would be famous and have lots of interesting lovers and have much wealth. Oh, that was YOUR fortune too? Hmmm...
Petrea, it's NOT all movie stars, sun and bikinis? You've ruined my whole belief system! ;)
Rich: In summer the place is filled with chavs, drunks and the great unwashed. It is truly hideous to behold.
Lupine Lady: Katie certainly brought the sun to London last October so I think you're right.
When the tide comes in you better have your running shoes on!
Shan: I'm glad you saw the funny side, too. And yes, the beach to the north of this one really is miles wide and it takes a determined trudge to reach the water.
Petrea: The moors are a tiny and very rainy and windy and miserable place, full of disappointed American tourists.
The castles are mostly ruins; any that are not are mostly fake … about as real as our "American Highway".
But then all I know of Pasadena (other than your beautiful blog) is what I gleaned from an old record I have of the Pasadena Roof Orchestra singing "My canary has circles under its eyes".
I think we both harbour illusions.
Lupine Lady (back again?): I love our turbines. They are beautiful to watch in the evening when the setting sun turns them gold against a sapphire sky. Very relaxing.
The tiny fishing hamlet of California (where the sign is pointing) has a tumbledown cliff path leading to some rocks where I often sit on a summer evening watching the windmills with a beer in my hand from Bob's excellent tavern at the clifftop and a lovely sea breeze to cool me.
Don't tell the tourists about that one, PLEASE! It's MINE!
Mark: I hope you used a beach towel for protection from sand abrasions. Yow!
Maria: Your future is with Bing and Liv and it is utterly blissful (or at least it would be if you'd only learn to straighten a towel … hee hee).
Now cross my palm with silver, dearie.
Lynn: Mine, too.
Sigh …
Back to American Highway.
Goodness no. We have fast cars and orange groves, too. Now buck up you two.
I haven't seen all of England but what I did see I loved. It's a dream of mine to live there.
Sigh...
I laughed.
You can come visit me, and I will show you a lovely pier. My hometown, however, has a hideous pier. It does not point the way to California.
Don't jump Dive! Spring is coming.
I grew up outside of Atlantic City, New Jersey (before the casinos). Talk about cheesy carnies and piers. We had the diving horse!
Its funny that every beach resort has the same sordid assortment of hawkers, rides, rip-offs and fortune tellers.
They even made it to Santa Cruz! S
Ah, but Santa Cruz has sourdough!
Petrea: Anyone who dreams of living in England must be eating too many pizzas just before bed.
Lucio: Me, too.
Sassy: I'd love to come visit, but luckily for you I have no passport.
And I'm buggered if I'm swimming across.
Neetzy: A little over a year ago, someone calling herself "Shazza" posted a wonderful, evocative, atmospheric series of beautiful black and white photos of those self same New Jersey attractions looking ghostly and deserted out of season and the very next weekend I set off on the start of my "Coast" series of photoposts in reply.
I am so glad I did because now both Shazza and yourself are part of my life and I am so lucky to have you both here.
I absolutely loved Shazza's black and white beach series! I hope you both take more. I love the beach in the off-season.
And we are certainly glad to be part of your life!
Pleasure Beach and Joyland are well good! Don't be dissing my scene yo :P
Okay... Maybe that was my scene when I was 15 and we enjoyed drinking and going on really bad rides lol!
If you truely think GY is that horrible, perhaps you should try a summer job down Regent Road. Then you'll see how truely horrible it is... Ew.
Hee hee.
Hi, Louisa! Welcome at last to the crapfest that is my blog.
I've got a friend coming over from California in May and we're going to make a special trip to GY to see American Highway in action (and then drive up the coast to the real California for chips on the beach … that'll be a culture shock for her).
I kinda secretly adore crap stuff so GY is wonderful, especially out of season.
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