From The Book Of Dive

Luke (I am your father):
Chapter 2:
And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
2. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria).
3. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judæa, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
5. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
6. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
7. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the Inn.
8. And two thousand and six years did pass, and in the two thousand and seventh,
9. Children were brought forth by their parents to learn of the birth of Christ.
10. That Joseph and Mary his espoused wife did ask at the inn for aid,
11. And were told "Sorry mate; we're full. Christmas rush and all that. You should have booked."
12. And the Innkeeper did look upon Mary, great with child and did have compassion,
13. And saith: "Actually, we've got a purple plastic grotto out the back. You can use that if you want."
14. And Mary did join a queue of Children and did sit upon a strange man's lap.
15. And paid him money to do so.
16. And the strange man saith "Ho ho ho."
17. For the God of the Christian West is Mammon,
18. And you are all going to Hell in a handcart.