The older you get, the more every day seems like Monday.
Time once again for Fracas Monday Melee .
1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).
This week I have been mostly hating guys who commute to work but don't get dressed properly.
There are always some on the trains; wankers who just hang a tie round their neck but don't do it up. For fucks sake, wear a tie or don't wear a tie; make your stupid minds up. You look like fucking dorks.
That's almost as bad as Breakfast Boy who gets on the 5:40 with me in the mornings and lays out an elaborate array of Tupperware including one with cereal in, one with milk in, a thermos of coffee, various items of cutlery … What a twat.
2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).
The laces on my new shoes.
The bastards just WILL NOT stay done up. I've got to get up off my arse and walk down to the nearest shoe shop to buy a decent pair of laces this lunchtime.
3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).
The fact that I am old and ugly (see below)
4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).
My boss, for shortlisting two gorgeous young girls for the post of my new Architectural Assistant.
I chose Heidi and she started this morning. She is fresh out of college, Finnish, blonde, slim, utterly beautiful in a way that makes my brain shut down and my mouth drop open and dribble when she looks at me. And she knows it.
She's also got that cute Finnish accent that reminds me of rally drivers.
Scarily, she also seems to be pretty good at her job.
Happy me.
5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).
My girlfriend told me this week that I look really good from behind.
I'm not sure if that's a nice comment about my (admittedly pretty hot) ass or a sign that she's already sick of the front view.
6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).
I like Vic's choice for this one this week (intraveinous coffee), but as she has already taken that, I'll go for the ability to speak Finnish.
17 comments:
Well rather than worrying about whether your new and long-coveted girlfriend, (let's remember, Dive,) is already sick of your front view, i really think there is something more pressing to consider. Perhaps she may become a little sick of your salivating and unashamed fawning over your new, Finnish assistant.
Not the way forward, Dive (oh she's bigger than that, i hear you say, she wouldn't mind at all. Take it from me; now or soon, she will.)
Knuckles rapped? Jolly good. lol Happy Day!
By the way, loved description of Breakfast Boy. Twat indeed. Try to get us a surreptitious pic!
Hee hee. I'll try to sneak some sad commuter pics, Lynn; excellent idea.
As for "girlfriend"; she knows all about Heidi.
She also knows all about me (as opposed to "Dive") so there's no problem there.
hmm.... "girlfriend" in inverted commas.... oooh the mystery deepens. Putting my thinking cap on for that one...
hmm.... "girlfriend" in inverted commas.... oooh the mystery deepens. Putting my thinking cap on for that one...
"girlfriend" in inverted commas, Lynn, because until things become less complicated "she" shall remain nameless.
Friends and family read my blog.
I'm with ya about those half-dressed wankers DB...if they're gonna do it up right, they might as well not get dressed at ALL!
Give a PROPER show or give none at ALL!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn....morning...where did March go?
;)xo
March?
MARCH?
Never mind March, what the hell happened to the Sixties?
God, I feel old …
I am simply reveling the fact that you used the term girlfriend! Who gives a fuck if things are complicated Dive, life is complicated and we don't say "life"! You have girlfriend and we are pleased!
P.s. Lindsey Buckingham-OH FUCK- I think I'm in trouble! I was close enough to see the bead of sweat run down his neck that I would have licked off, given the opportunity. He sang for 2 straight hours-He is tall, handsome and extremely talented. His fingers move in ways I have never seen before.
Ok, this isn't my blog is it?
Sorry Dive, just thought you'd want my review.
So who in the hell is your girlfriend? And why would she put up with your lust for Finnish chick?
Sassy THANK YOU ! Exactly my thoughts. Dive cuffed my concerns away saying the usual man-thing of she won't mind, she knows what i'm like blah blah but i know you're with me on this. No woman would like this. If she says she understands, it's because she doesn't want to piss Dive off. Dive, you must ditch this lechy talk. Keep it inside your head. Trust Sassy and me; you'll cook your goose even before it's in the oven.
Sassy; ought we to start guessing names, colour of hair, occupation etc?
Excellent review Prudence. He's certainly a great musician, and what a songwriter!
As for Sassy and Lynn: You should know by now that Dive is not me. I would never lech after young girls. Heidi is good at her job; that's why I hired her.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm not Sassy Sundry. My real name is Lulu, and I'm shacked up with a guy named Hank.
Hi, Lulu.
Give my regards to Mc.Hank.
and over and out from Annie from Aberdeen.
I would have shared the IV coffee idea with ya, Dive. But how about a Babel fish instead so you can understand the native language of not only this new assistant but also the next foreign little thing that comes along?
Cheers,
Amy Ray
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