It's The Christian Movie Review Site Again

I've not had a sly dig at the God-botherers for a while, so it's time once more for "Christians writing about sex".

Whilst doing the ironing I like to watch a trashy movie.
Yesterday, it was good old "Team America, World Police", which provided my shirts with some unusual and creative creases.
I decided today to look up the movie in my "Insane Christian Film Reviews" link (you must remember their nudity review of Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie).

These reviews are supposed to let parents make an informed choice about whether to let their children watch certain movies.
This is fair enough and a general overview with various ratings is not at all a bad idea.
Where this site careens off the rubber walls into unintentional hilarity, however, is in their choice to rate movies purely on sex, violence and profanity.
They do, however add a little piece at the end of each review addressing any message the film might convey; my favourite of which is for Natural Born Killers ("Love conquers all" which is kinda sweet considering the body count).

Hennyway: I'm not going to quote the full review of Team America, just the sex part … ahem …
Imagine, if you will, a couple of Christian film reviewers sitting there with their notebooks and their fingers over the pause button.
That image is far scarier than any movie … brrrr …
So: their review:
"A man and a woman kiss, we see them nude (we see her bare breasts and his bare buttocks, but they are not anatomically correct otherwise) lying in a bed and they kiss; in a series of encounters, the man lies on top of the woman and thrusts, then the woman is on her hands and knees and the man thrusts from behind, then the woman is on top of the man thrusting facing him and then away from him, then they perform oral sex on each other, and then she performs oral sex on him. A man asks another man to perform oral sex on him, we hear the man unzip his pants and then see the other man move downward and off screen. A man talks about another man having performed oral sex on him. A man asks a man if he is gay. A man talks to another man about fearing that he will force him to perform sexual favors. A woman says that she will have sex with a man if he makes her a promise. Women wearing traditional belly dancing outfits (revealing cleavage and bare abdomens) dance in a tavern. A woman wears low-cut tops that reveal cleavage. A man proposes marriage to a woman. A man and a woman kiss".

Now I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good evening's entertainment.
It's a damned shame they're only puppets.
I love the last line. It's so sweet and chaste after all the rest.