So far this weekend it has allowed me no more than two minutes at crappy dial-up speeds before disconnecting me, which is why my miserable, bile-fuelled missives have not been appearing in your comments boxes.
BT Broadband. Utter fucking shite.
So I've had plenty of time to do the housework and the gardening (no, Robyn, I have not yet ironed my boxer shorts and tea towels; that joy is waiting for me this afternoon … and just what's wrong with ironing boxer shorts and tea towels? I like my tea towels folded nice and flat so they fit in the drawer, and my balls are wrinkly enough without having to subject them to wrinkly boxers!) …
And my garden has declared war on me.This is the view from my bathroom window. The white lilac probably smells as gorgeous as the Dutch honeysuckle outside the dining room window, but being anosmic I'll just have to take other people's words for it.
The clematis has decided to riot.
Somewhere under there is my shed.
I think.
I've not seen it for a while.
The garden ate a team of naturalists and a TV crew last year.
I look down at my secateurs.
Who am I kidding? I need a fucking chainsaw and a flamethrower.
If I don't come back, I bequeath my boxer shorts and tea towels to Robyn.
13 comments:
If I don't come back, I bequeath my boxer shorts and tea towels to Robyn ... and all my computer geek stuff, including Macs, to GG.
Hehe.
Sorry bout the shite bb: that blows. Have fun out in the garden, though. How bout a bulldozer to clear the whole fucking lot, fill it with concrete, and pop a couple of units out there? Man, I've been in Tokyo too long.
cheer up flower boy, my blog is about to give old K a heart attack. Does that make me a German?
PS day of the triffids scared the crap out of me and i refused to go out into my grandma's garden for months.
You could just let the whole thing go and see what it becomes. Who needs a shed anyway?
I could use some freshly ironed tea towels, but I don't really have a use for the shorts. Maybe we could ship those on to Rich.
Wish my clematis would run riot. After starting out vigorously enough when I bought it last spring, it just died back and is only recovering a bit now, after a severe case of clematis wilt (a problem that affects a lot of men, so I hear).
Lilacs--my favorite!
Almost makes up for the wrinkled balls tidbit.
I once got into a fist fight on how you pronounce clematis, if you don't make it you will be ironed and burried in a spice rack.
Speaking of racks I think my word of today is 'soap'.
I last saw your shed in 1998 after that Japanese soldier was found hiding in it because he thought the War was still on.
Don't forget your camera next Sat for the wisteria.
lol Full!
I am so thrilled - i don't usually have any flowers in my garden at all but this year i have some poppies and even my clitoris is flourishing.
Try Wanadoo, now Orange. I hope to God i don't speak too soon but i've not had a single problem.
Did Lynn just say that her clitoris is flourishing?
When I look outside my bathroom window, I see the fence of my neighbor. Once I saw a squirrel.
And I have some superb wrinkle cream that you can borrow for your balls if you wish. Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it. And, um, just keep the cream. I don't need it back or anything......
Yes terroni LOL ! You were the only one to notice. Quite interesting. I wondered if the brain would accept clematis in a conversation about flowers when it was actually clitoris. he he. Your brain's on the ball then!
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