Phew …
After a relaxing Easter Break of housework, weeding, mowing lawns, cleaning the car, washing, ironing, shopping, going to church to find good old traditional Cannonball Bob has retired and been replaced by a happy-clappy moron, visiting, cooking, cleaning, washing up, dusting, vacuuming, decorating Mum's bungalow, furniture-wrestling and occasionally sleeping, it is lovely to get away from the countryside and back to the peace and quiet of Westminster to have a nice sit down and a cuppa in the office.
I missed Fracas Monday Melee so here it is on a Tuesday instead.
1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).
This week I have been mostly hating mankind's innate love of gardening (as if I don't have enough to do).
2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).
Painkillers … Ha!
Five pounds for a box of crappy pills that do fuck all (yes, I have a headache).
3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).
Crumbs …
I hate the little fuckers!
If genetic engineering is so good, why haven't they made toast, croissants and biscuits that are safe to eat in bed? Eh? …
Useless buggers!
4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).
Mark E. Smith for reaching fifty and still being the most 'ornery curmudgeon this planet has ever seen. Bless his cotton socks.
5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).
I have great legs.
In fact below the waist I am pretty good looking. It's above the waist that things go seriously awry … and above the neck is where the ugly stick hit hardest.
6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).
See above … crumb-less toast for eating in bed.
16 comments:
.......will there be any... below the waist shots coming then?....(whistle innocently)...
Hee hee.
They are my only good bits and I'm afraid they have a "reserved" tag on them now.
Mate, can you come and do all that at GGHQ? It needs a spring clean.
Hehe, this week, I have been mostly eating acorns. I can't believe I didn't get your Fast Show reference sooner. Brilliant!!!
Um, that is, I am assuming it's a ref to Jesse from FS. If not, I'll just skulk away.
"biscuits that are safe to eat in bed." This is so funny, I'm still giggling.
Gardening is for the neighbors. This year, I will plant my yard in plastic flowers.
GG: You know you should have done that at New Years'"
Hee hee. Well spotted! Hoorah for the old Fast Show. Coincidentally, they have a new sketch show starting this week. I'll check it out.
Wow! Robyn! "Gardening is for the neighbours." What a brilliant idea. I'll sell my gardens to my neighbours. They can look after them and I can look at them. Splendid!
And you obviously know what I mean about crumbs …
Oh feck. I just dobbed myself in; GGHQ still hasn't been cleaned. I love a spotless house, I'm just not prepared to clean it myself.
Omg, what's the new show called? I'll try and get it online. Cheesy peas.
And now, new strawberry flavour!
New show starts Friday 13th April, BBC1, 9:30.
It is called "Ruddy Hell; It's Harry and Paul" and it's not the full Fast Show gang, but Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.
Sounds fun.
I spotted the Fast Show thing ages ago, she said smugly. I loved that show! he he.
I like the reserved thing, Dive. I love that attitude, i just wish to God more people had it. I too am reserved.
Yeah yeah. You aren't moving all your crap from one abode to another. I feel no pity for you.
Now what about this girlfriend? When is it going to get uncomplicated? Huh?
I like being "reserved", Lynn.
It beats the hell out of being "unused" like I was for decades.
And Sassy: I was going to pop over and move all your heavy stuff for you, but now … I just don't know.
Hee hee.
Hurry up and get settled in; I miss your rantiness.
Gee dive, you'd make someone a good wife with all that ironing you've been doing. old knuddie may have somthing to say about that
Oreo crumbs are the worst! The little black buggers stain my white sheets!
(Did I do it? Did I use "buggers" correctly? I'm trying to learn to speak British, cause Spanish was way too hard.)
I think Dive may have found a biscuit that is safe to eat in bed... snicker, snicker. I am NOT reserved!
Sassy: Maybe he IS moving from one abode to another. Or moving another INto the abode. Or, decorating his mum's at the weekend was REALLY decorating the new JOINT abode. OH, God, Dive, it's driving Sassy and me mad. Give us SOMETHING?? lol
Robyn: "Gardening is for the neighbours" - love that - and sport is for people who can't read.
Oreo crumbs - use of "buggers" is sort of correct - what a vision - yuk - I think you should eat them in front of the TV.
Mme Benaut
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