Monday, April 23, 2007

Monday Melee With Boris

So Farewell then Boris.
A fellow drunk;
A fellow Marxist;
Like me, as disillusioned with Communism as with Crapitalism.
I'll always remember watching you clamber up on that tank during the hardline coup to rally the soldiers to the cause of democracy.
I have a nice vodka here.
Here's to your big fat memory, Comrade!



And I've also got Fracas Monday Melee .

1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).
This week I have been mostly hating mankind's headlong rush to greed.
When Boris dissolved the Communist state and opened up markets to private ownership, he stupidly allowed a few corrupt and greedy fuckheads to grab what they could and become obscenely rich; the Berezovskis and Abramovichs who now live like kings in the West while billions of Russians starve.

2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).
Two today: Capitalism and Communism.
Bogus, twatty and responsible together for almost as many needless deaths as religion.
Arse on all of them.

3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).
Totally unrelated to Boris, those annoying Swiss people at Toblerone.
You know those HUGE bars of Toblerone they sell off cheap in W.M.Shits on Liverpool Street Station?
Thought you did.
Nowhere … and I've checked thoroughly … NOWHERE on the packaging does it state "Do not eat this entire bar in one sitting, you twonk."
I don't feel so good.
Irresponsible Swiss bastards.
Oh, and twatty Russian so-called "oligarchs". Fuckwits!

4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).
Boris, for dismantling the Communist state and for being an amusing drunk.

5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).
I am a Marxist.

6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).
Justice for the Russian people and an indigestion tablet, please.

And if I may I would like to append my personal eulogy for Comrade Yeltsin:
Fuck politics! Let's get drunk and dance!
Farewell, my fat friend.

11 comments:

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

I don't involved with politics much but i always thought he looked such great fun! he he the dancing oh the dancing.

Toblerone? mmmm a whole one in one eh? God Dive i take my hat off to you. I couldn't. I mean, imagine all that soft, silky chocolate just swilling around in your stomach, threatening to rise up your throat at any moment. Oooh no i just couldn't. How you feeling?

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

give me a Russian woman and a bottle of good Russian Vodka to get through the winter. yeah :))

Old Knudsen said...

yeah show respect to him with a meme.

dive said...

He taught me every dance step I know.

Maria said...

I want whatever you're having. Two.

And what were you psychologically blocking that you had to eat an entire toblerone in one sitting? It takes a guilty conscience to eat a whole one, mister......

Anonymous said...

Yep I found out the hard way that toblerones are bad for your health and haven't had one since .... hmmmm, maybe its time to bite the bullet again?

dive said...

Luckily it didn't come out the same shape it went in!

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

eeeeuuuww Dive too much information!

dive said...

heeheehee

Scout said...

If Yeltsin had just dismantled Communism or if he had just made an attempt to install democracy or if he had just jumped on a tank like a teenager, he wouldn't be remembered as fondly today for all of his staggering and very very bad drunk-dancing.

And I love going to the hospital for a heart attack and telling the world he had a bad cold.

dive said...

You think Boris was a bad dancer, Robyn?
I'm glad you've never seen THIS old git on the dancefloor! Yikes!