Do you remember all of those pretty pictures I posted of the beautiful Norfolk Coast near my village?
Well, it's getting close to tourist season again and it's about time I did my bit in the battle to keep the fuckers from clogging our country lanes with smegging caravans and throwing junk food cartons into the hedgerows.
This is Lowestoft (pronunced by the locals "Low-stuff" and with good reason).
Actually, this is the only pretty building in Lowestoft; the lighthouse I went to photograph when I got distracted by the local beauties in yesterday's post.This is the reality … Lowestoft is such a shithole that you're not allowed to take colour photos there.
This is Ness Point; the most easterly piece of land in the British Isles.Spectacularly beautiful it ain't.
You'd think they would make a little park, or even a visitor centre.
Land's End and John o'Groats actually make a bit of an effort to proclaim themselves the top and bottom of the mainland, but this is Lowestoft and they simply can't be arsed.
People come here at Midsummer and Midwinter to watch the sun rise.
Poor bastards.
And this is the beach.Or at least it looks like this every time an oil tanker vents its tanks, which is quite often.
I like our local offshore wind farms. Some deluded nimbys say that they're ugly; and that birds might fly into them … They are far less of an eyesore than a beach full of crude oil, with its regular crop of tens of thousands of dead seabirds. Twats. Fuck fossil fuel.
So … Tourists. Thinking of coming to the East Anglian Coast this summer?Fuck off!
Leave us alone.
You are not welcome here, and besides, it's ugly as these photos graphically attest.
Go to Tewkesbury and see Lynn instead.
13 comments:
Why, that beach is absolute lovely. Makes me want to set up my canvas folding chair, pop open the umbrella and have a nice cold Mike's Hard Lemonade. I'll be right over.
he he yes come to us! We need you after the floods. All tourists welcome. lol.
Lowestoft. Yeah. The ex i had a recent - last year - lucky escape from i.e. i saw through him? One of his ideas, apart from his retiring from work, moving into my house and proposing i pay for everything while he sat on the sofa (yes he actually said this) - okay i digress, one of his ideas was that we both up sticks and move to - yes you've guessed it, Low Stuff, where some of his family is. Phew! Lucky escape or what. Glad i shared that with you.
Hokay, so what's Mike's Hard Lemonade, Robyn? It sounds kinda crunchy.
Lynn: Ye Gods! What a luck escape! A Lowstuff man? Brrrr …
By your description of his behaviour he certainly sounds like he comes from there.
Well now you've seen the photos, consider yourself a very fortunate young lady.
FIRST, thanks, dive-alish! ;-) and you know why!
it's fascinating how b&w photography can lend an austere beauty to the most unsightly...re wind farms, the last time i was out in palm springs, california we saw an immense wind farm mde me thing of a christo installation..it was grand!
My pleasure, Savannah. You're a great mom.
Wind farms look so cool! Where I used to live on the coast we had an onshore one and an offshore and I could sit and look at them for hours. They're beautiful.
Our government is investing fat all in wind, wave and solar energy and going all out for nuclear and biofuels (as if burning plants instead of eating them is going to do any good), the ignorant bastards.
Hey ho.
Actually no he was a southern man but his family had moved there. Is it worse that they actually chose it, do you think? he he. He'd always been a Low Stuff kind of fellow though, now looking back and yes, your photos show me wow quite a lot. Phew.
Oh Dive...I feel your pain with the seasonal tourist. Soon the summer will be filled with horn honking, big ass power boats along the river with roar with their obnoxious power, Bennies (or shoobies) filling up the beaches in their black socks and zinc oxide coated noses littering their cheese fries and beer bottles on our beaches.
eck.
We need some more hyperdermic needles and medical waste to wash up along the shores to chase them away.
Come on New York...spill something will ya?
Lynn: Unless you crave the company of seagull-poop, fish guts and crude oil, don't go there.
Shazza: Roll on October when the bastards leave us alone again.
Don't worry Dive, it was never going to happen.
Whew! Sensible girl!
I just adore the word "smegging" and boy howdy, I am going to steal it.
Steal the smegger, Maria. You're more than welcome.
Hahaha! Lovely.
Many tell me they couldn't be paid enough to live in Lowestoft. I haven't been, but then, I haven't had any reason. I think I'd explore North Norfolk though - in search of lavender and poppies.
Beaches? Come on - I come from the Philippines, where I used to go diving and actually see a million and one different fishies and sea creatures and colours. But darn it - I still don't know how to swim.
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