Thank God for memes.
It's been such a totally shit-fuck week that I thought I'd never blog again and suddenly Shazza rides to my rescue with this! Bless her cotton socks.
And a big fuck you to all you meme haters.
Eyes down for a bunch of crap. Here goes:
1) Are you taller than your mother?
Yup.
2) What colour is your car?
Black.
Silly question … Clothes, black; car, black; life, black.
3) What is the closest thing to you that is red?
Rather a lot of leather bound books.
Far more than is decent outside of the British Library, but anyone who asks "What on earth do you want more books for?" gets a slap.
This means you.
4) What is your ringtone?
No ringtone … No phone (as you should know by now).
5) Are you sick?
As in "one sick puppy"? … Yup.
As in unwell? Not physically, though I tore a muscle in my shoulder yesterday which is making me cranky enough to be glad we're not allowed handguns over here.
6) What colour is your favourite pillow?
White.
And filled with goose down. As are all my pillows.
I love pillows. Mmmmmmmmm.
7) Favourite video game?
Grand Theft Auto; probably the San Andreas one.
There are moments in my life when I simply have to steal a car, drive like fuck around Los Angeles and shoot people in the head. GTA means I don't end up in jail doing it. Thanks, guys.
8) Nap today?
No. My fucking shoulder hurts too much.
9) Gold or silver?
Silver. Gold's tacky.
10) Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Not as much as people do.
11) The last person you rode an elevator with?
Squeaky Kate. We were feeling too damned lazy to walk up all those flights of stairs. I know, I KNOW!
12) Did you go ice skating as a kid?
Only on the river or ponds. We don't have rinks here.
14) Ever have stitches?
Enough to start a sewing circle.
15) Favourite non alcoholic drink?
What's non-alcoholic drink? … Okay … water or green tea.
16) How long ago did you kiss someone?
Too damned long ago.
17) What is something that you want to do before you die?
Getting through today would be nice.
18) Ever caught something on fire?
Nope, though I've blown a lot of things up in my … ahem … "naughty" bomb-making student days. Making bombs means learning to be careful with matches.
19) Ever seen a ghost?
Nope.
I remember all the trouble I got into with you lot for saying they don't exist. That same post I said there was no God and no afterlife and nobody made a peep, but point out that there are no such things as ghosts and you delusional weirdos hit the roof.
Sheesh!
20) Ever seen the northern lights?
Twice. They're rare this far south, but we do get 'em on occasion.
21) Do you know how to use chopsticks?
I mostly eat with chopsticks.
22) Something good that happened today?
I found a meme. Yup; that's how crap my day is.
23) Are you worried about something you can't control?
Not at all. With all the crap I've lived through, if I couldn't cope with everything life throws at me I'd be dead a long time ago.
24) Do you take daily meds?
Alcohol and caffeine. All a growing boy needs.
25) Ever been in a fight?
Yup. I've broken several bones … fortunately all on other people. And all in self defence, I hasten to add.
26) Wearing nail polish?
Boots No.7: clear … though only if I break a nail at a gig.
27) Favourite colour?
Black. It's a colour if I say it's a colour.
28) Innie or outie?
Innie.
29) Ever used a Ouija board?
Yup. What a heap of crap that was.
30) Sweet or sour?
Can I have "bitter"? Please? Awwww, c'mon!
31) Sun or Moon?
Moonless nights.
32) What shoes did you wear today?
None. I'm working from home and I ain't goin' nowhere.
33) Favourite eye color of the opposite sex?
Deep, dark brown, the colour of rosewood in sunshine. Yeah, I know I'm being kinda specific.
34) Most important quality in a relationship.
Never chewing food with your mouth open. GodDAMN I lost some weight dating her! I just couldn't eat in the same room. Blech!
35) Favourite zombie movie?
The second George Romero one; you know, the one in the shopping mall. That was fucking funny.
36) Time of day that you were born?
Five minutes to midnight. That really fucks up astrologers.
37) Do you know your blood type?
Red … I have blood. That's about all I know.
Mayuko guessed my blood type from my personality (it's some weird Japanese thing they do when they're dating), but I've not yet been and asked the lovely Doctor Amanda what mine is, so we can see if Mayuko was right. I'll keep you posted.
38) What would you spend 500 dollars on right now?
More books. Stupid question.
39) Name something annoying in public transit?
HA!!!!!!
I mean FUCKING HA!!!!!!!
Read all of my archives.
Go on!
Fucking hell, what a dumb question!
40) Did you grow up in a city or in the country?
I'm a country boy. I work in Westminster but I could never live there. I need total silence at home. Other than birds and rustly trees, any noise is going to be made by me or my Bose.
41) Consider going on a reality show for a large amount of money?
I wouldn't even WATCH a fucking reality show for any amount of money. Sheesh!
42. Flown in your dreams?
I usually use planes.
Dreams are cheaper but you wake up in the same place, so what's the point?
43. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs … er … or kisses … or hugs … or …
Ah, fuck it. Licking pretty pink clitoris.
44) Ten dollars to spend in a dollar store. What on?
Total crap!
I'd have to take Mikey. He's the "Poundland King". He once came out of there with what could possibly be the coolest thing ever made by the hand of man: a wind-up crawling Mothra larva! It looked like a turd, about four inches long. You wound it up and it kinda humped its way across the desk! BRILLIANT!!!
Waadya mean, you don't know who Mothra is?
45) Slurpee flavour?
What the fuck's a slurpee?
Can I have clitoris flavour?
23 comments:
DIVE! Don't be disgusting. A slurpee is a frozen fruity juice thingy--ice and sugar and artificial color. Yum, except for the brain freeze.
Damn. That doesn't sound anywhere near as nice.
I don't like the emphasis on the "pee" in slurpee. Not very promising, is it?
You're a lifesaver, because I couldn't think of anything to post either. Have drafted mine up and will publish in due course.
Hee hee hee.
Memes save the day.
I must confess I hadn't noticed the pee in slurpee. Now I'm DEFINITELY not going to try one!
Yes. A 24-hour convenience store chain called 7/11 out here in the US is absolutely famous for their "slurpee" collection. Most serve them in cherry flavor, and they are literally a drinkable version of a sno-cone really. Other flavor ideas include Coke and Mountain Dew, both of which are as disgusting as they sound.
Clitoris flavour?
Ever been to Billinsgate?
They do small, regular and large.
They sound pretty disgusting, Pilgrim.
I made myself a red wine one last night. That was nice.
Istvanski: Now I'm beginning to realise the cause of my addiction to sashimi.
Some of this is not for ladies' eyes, i fear and is spiralling downwards even further...moving swiftly on...
I also love pillows Dive mine have the same filling, well some of them anyway, large and square they are and difficult to find new cases for! My son's nicked them now though... i have synthetic ones, they are surprisingly gorgeous though too. Mmmmm beds....mmmmm.
I'm surprised, i don't know why, at your vid game habit! I adore games but can only seem to master them on the pc. The control thingy does not compat with my hands somehow. My favourite ever was DOOM.
My nearest red thing were some snuggly, soft socks. I'm clearly in a cuddly, pillow/socks mood...
Thank God you're back here am I thinking you had your head in the microwave and what do I find you are here designing erotic frozen treats - jeeez!!!!
You are obviously feeling better!!! I left a message on Lyn's blog for you fearing the worse (no Dive Blogs)I couldn't cope although I do have some bad news tomorrow on my front.
PS Was just reading pilgrimchick and thought if the slurpee was spelt Mountin' Dew - it might taste a whole lot better!!
Oppps - sorry - I meant Lynn not Lyn
Lynn: The older I get, the more I appreciate a good quality mattress, lovely thick linen sheets (freshly ironed, of course) and wonderful goose-down pillows to nestle my old head in.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Hee hee. A video game habit! I do have a PS2 and occasionally will take a "holiday" in one of the GTA games. The total freedom to roam around beautifully re-created real cities (Miami, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas with NY coming up next April) and to misbehave and create destruction and carnage on a comically massive scale, accompanied by great music and the GTA team's sick, sick anti American sense of humour and lots of good, Dive-style swearing can be astonishingly refreshing.
Sheesh! I'm a bloke living on my own. It's either that or online porn and I prefer to be geeky rather than creepy, so GTA it is.
I don't play games on my computer because I'm a fat, lazy geek and prefer to be snuggled down on my sofa when I play.
Oh, and socks fresh out of the airing cupboard on a cold morning are bliss!
Jules: You have bad news on you front? Where on your front, precisely? I think you should show us.
working from home is bliss, sugar. good for you!
Savannah: It's still work, but I don't have the seven hour a day commute to worry about so it is considerably less stressful.
Kate: You know how to cheer me up! Hee hee.
he he ok we seem to have some housework issues here Dive, you and me. Differences shall we say. I too love good quality linen oh yes BUT i don't iron them. I fold. Surprisingly they still snap out crisply and wonderously when you dress the bed and they don't look so bad. I have decided to relocate that time elsewhere. My airing cupboard does not contain anything but sheets and towels. Folded neatly with folded edge outwards, not the edgy flippy bits showing oh no. I'm very strict. RRRRRaaauuuWWW. Everything else is dried thoroughly and put straight into drawers or wardrobes. I sense that you, like me, pay justified importance to such domestic matters so i thought we should clear it all up now. LOL!
Oh by the way, working from home. Welcome to the world where people think you do nothing - not referring to anyone on here it just reminded me - but it's true to say that most people believe you're watching tv all day. It IS bliss, for sure, not travelling, making your coffee when you want, having Sky News on in the background, yep it's all good. You'd be amazed at the comments i've had from people though. My mother when she rings: "You're going out? Ooh that'e exciting, where?! Work? Oh, you've got some WORK? oh that's useful isn't it dear. Well i won't keep you long then, but I've just been speaking to...and..."
My brother when i complained of a dry patch of work one week "Have you thought about getting a job?"
Friend: "I was feeling down and i KNEW you'd be in and available for a moan..."
Other friend "Oh Lynn you could take him, couldn't you. I can't as i work, but Lynn will."
Freelance/working from home. Not what others think or how you expect it to be.
I'm looking around now anyway, so soon i'll be getting a 'job' i expect.
Hee hee, Lynne. Yes, I am an ironing addict. I love flat, crisp sheets (no I don't iron creases into them,; that would just be weird).
And in cold weather, socks and undies get added to my airing cupboard for the sheer, unadulterated bliss of putting them on warm in the winter.
As for working from home: it took me a while to get that accepted as my boss goes out playing golf when he is "working from home".
The only way I can do it is to get up early, get dressed (NOT slob around in boxers and teeshirt) and log on to the office servers bright and early. I work from six to noon and take a long lunch, then a couple or three hours in the afternoon.
I do NOT allow personal calls during office hours and yes, people do think I'm available to meet them in Norwich or I have an open house, but I soon put them right. I like to keep my job!
Good luck with the job hunt!
Thanks. I don't look forward to the confines again of being locked within four strange walls for a certain amount of hours, but it's necessary. Like you i have to have work! There's not a lot around at the moment.
I admire your straight talking with friends and family. I clearly need to be MORE strict. I thought i was pretty scary already, but maybe that's only with my airing cupboard...
I do admit to working in my knickers sometimes LOL if it's a tight jeans day. Always a decent top though oh yes. Other than that, i'm pretty much up and running early too. If i do bump into someone out during the day, they often comment how lovely it must be to go shopping when i want and have all that free time. What they forget, or don't know, is that whilst they are watching Eastenders and going to bed early that evening with a great book or a fab man, i'm probably working! It's a charmless and pointless argument and i've long given up on it, apart from today when you reminded me of the most amusing comments i get from time to time. My, how they make me laugh.
Hee hee.
The best bit of home working for me is not having to set the alarms for 4:40 in the morning and do the seven hour a day commute from hell (though I'll be doing that tomorrow, but it's not so bad if it's just for one or two days).
As for family, Mum just called to let me know Phil's back from France, but she was good enough (well trained enough?) to wait until my lunch hour.
I'm not allowed to have slurpees as they are loaded with sugar and I am diabetic, but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it when Bing or Liv gets one and force them to let me have a sip or two.
The white cherry is the best. Although I am sure that I would enjoy clitoris as well.....
And if you ever come to America, come to the prairie and meet my house ghost, Madge.
Ah..hugs, kisses and slurping up clitoris. And then going out for a slurpee. Life CAN be good if you know where to look...
Hahaha, your post is interesting. Never fail to make me laugh. I know where I would go for a laughter or two. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day. :)
Mmm... leather bound books and goose down. I'd own a leather bound book I couldn't read just because. You do realize PETA hates us with passion?
Gold is tacky.
I showed you but you were asleep!!!! We really must time our visits better. When I'm awake you're asleep and vice versa - living on a round world has its disadvantages!!!!
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