So I dug around in my studio and found some dusty portfolios (I never throw old crap away) stuffed with my college work and fired up the scanner.
Today I present to you a Monday bonus:
Gratuitous Nudity, a pretty girl and a Dive stiffy embarrassment story (what another one, you ask?) … Yes, another one.
Hokay … Let's hit the swirly effects and head back in time to 1978 (cue Kate Bush singing "Wuthering Heights" and a suddenly slim and hirsute college-boy Dive).
And here we are in life class (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays), where we get to sit and chat with Gary (who drums in a rival band to Dive) while he poses, stark naked, for us to draw.
It's either Gary or Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a lovely, middle-aged woman who always starts each session holding herself in; all firm and slim and upright. But we soon learn to anticipate "the sag" and draw accordingly, her body gradually surrendering to gravity until at the end of the session she actually looks like what we have drawn … What looks to me now like a wonderful, soft, rounded and beautiful middle-aged woman's body but back then just looked saggy and old (sigh).
So now we take a quick sidestep back to school and Dive being in the same class as a certain Louise, for whom he has the unrequited hots …
Are you still with me?
Then you'll have already guessed what happens next.
Sure enough; Elizabeth goes on holiday and we get a stand-in.
We're milling around in the life studio when in walks Louise, all jaunty and "Hi, Dive! How are you?"
"Wow! Louise! Are you joining our class?"
"No. I'm modelling today."
Cue what must have been the most comical expression my face has ever made, which reduces her to a fit of the giggles.
And the next three and a half hours pass chatting and catching up, whilst trying desperately to hide my whopping stiffy.Sitting nekkid in front of me is a girl with whom I have sat in class, mentally undressing her many times in my spotty teenage schooldays.
Of course, Louise knows full well how I feel - and the trouser mayhem I am suffering - and flirts outrageously.
Anyhoo … This is my favourite of the half-dozen poses from that morning, because it actually looks like her.And because moving round to get her in profile meant that she couldn't keep catching my eye and grinning and staring at my crotch, so I could actually concentrate on drawing her.
Click on the pic for more detailed perky teen … er …
After class we shared lunch in the refectory and had a damned good laugh about it all.
But my feelings remained - inevitably - unrequited so we just stayed on chatting terms.
And she never came back to life class, no matter how much I tried to talk Elizabeth into taking another break.
I wonder where she is now.
And if she's as saggy as me …
Sigh …
23 comments:
That really is a somewhat charming story, Dive. Much more so than the thumb-sucking girl on the train, even.
And you're a very good drawer.
Great sketches dive. We all know the reason you have kept them for so long. Either you still use them as masturbation material or you still have the hots for her or maybe both.
It's good to see you had a keen eye for art at that young age. Back then I didn't give a damn about it all that much. I guess I've grown old enough to appreciate such things.
Your drawings are wonderful Dive and the story is hysterical.
She was quite perky that is for sure!
I love your definition of the word "charming", Robyn. Hee hee.
And thank you for the compliment. I still like to draw.
Rich: Ew!! Hee hee. I suppose a part of me still has the hots for her, like any old flame.
But I didn't just keep Louise; I may well post Gary, too, for the lay-dees.
Shazza: Thank you.
She sure was jiggly when she giggled (sigh).
Jiggly and giggly, how onomatopoeic, Dive.
Do you suppose you were a bit onomatopoeic, too, at the time ?
Ooer!
That's quite a beautiful drawing, Dive. Wonderfully sensitive and clear. I love her face lines and i wonder if her breasts really were that pointy or your pencil tip slipped in excitement? I mean it, it's really beautiful. In fact, i feel a new Zazzle shopkeeper is being born. Open one. Imagine the lovely Louise on your t shirt, a mug, your stationery...oh how the mind boggles.
I did feel sad at your initial impression of Elizabeth. Not all young men feel that way about older ladies! Poor Elizabeth, i wonder where she is now.
Post Gary then oh go on then do... i bet his bits will be hidden though, male bits always are. The unfairness of life.
You and i were clearly doing the same thing earlier, Dive.
Before your imagination gets the better of you with that statement, i'll clarify that i too was looking through old uni files. So interesting isn't it. Now that i am re-reading old studies, M. et Mme can expect my French to improve once again!
Thank you, Lynn.
And hee hee, yes, they were indeed that pointy!
As for Elizabeth, our idea of beauty changes as we get older (thankfully), and soft becomes alluring.
Hmm … Gary … Do I really want to spend my time scanning pictures of a naked man?
Persuade me, Lynn!
Yes you do, Dive, to be fair to your blogging ladies, and you do like to please the ladies, don't you? lol. :) that's a winning smile.
Glad to hear soft is in, then. Phew. Alluring, even. Wow. Thank God eh ladies? Mind you i was never as thin and pointy as your young Louise. I am tempted to sulk all day like you did at my blog Dive.
Dive when you popped in to M. Benaut's i feel you must have omitted to click the link. Talk about being hot under the collar and your current er... predicament with your stiffy, i do think you should return to Adelaide Daily Photo. Gosh.
Lynn: you know you've got me wrapped around your little finger when I spend an age scanning in a naked man for you (I'll post him in the morning); and I did indeed click on Monsieur Benaut's link but found the girl's shoes so appalling that I couldn't bear to comment. Hee hee.
lol i agree about the shoes, ugh. I am amazed you noticed them lol!
Wrapped around my little finger huh? .......i like that..... blush... thanks, i'll be here in the morning!
There's something Degas about this drawing Dive, i really am impressed.
My word, she was a pretty one, wasn't she? Do you have any of Elizabeth?
Because those lovely perky breasts...yeah...I haven't seen those in a long, long time. I fear that I droop like an Elizabeth....
Dive, you are quite the talent!
Degas without the tutu - she should have at least been bending over or had an arm or a leg in the air but for what it is worth, your drawing of her lazy pose is quite delightful, Dive. Like Lynn, I would love to see your sketches of Gary.
Do you ever just draw these days, because you can or because something in particular catches your eye? Any other sketches you'd like to share? This is another Dive depth I'd like to plumb.
I mentioned on Rich's site about my friend Rebecca Hayward (to whose brother I was engaged in Paris some 30 years ago). Becky is an artist in Florence. Google her name and look at her website and her art - if you like Salvador Dali, you will like Becky. Do it - it's worth it. If you prefer classical/mediaeval music, google her husband - David Bellugi and then you're in for some fine listening.
Lynn: My gay gene (the one that likes ironing and Tiffany lamps and decorates my house) didn't let me look at her legs; it just screamed "OHMYGOD! THOSE SHOES! HOW COULD SHE?" at me.
Hey ho.
And thank you again for the compliments. You've earned your Gary post!
Maria: I will hunt down Elizabeth. She's not in the folios in my studio so next time I'm up in the attic I'll have a rummage and see what I can come up with.
Mme: I am a great Dali fan. I spend a lot of lunchtimes down at the Tate standing in front of his works and even after all these years of study I am amazed … mostly by how small they are!
And I love classical and mediæval music, too, so I am going to treat myself when I get home from the city later.
And yes, I still draw and sketch and paint. It's part of my job, though I do it for pleasure, too.
Dive, old son. Have you NO imagination?
Those blue, high-heel shoes, mate.
They come OFF. It might take a bloke a minute of two, but Marshall McLuhan would suggest what result to expect, given there's a bit of processing to be done first.
An experience is not an experience until you have experienced it and neither is a truism !
That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.
Lynn, I think I need some back-up here. Help !!
Eek M. Benaut. Well, taste behoves me to agree with Dive BUT, and there is one, there's a lot to be said for the removing of such items to reveal things infinitely more beautiful. he he. Hope that did the job. Oh i should really rephrase.
Ah but the type of woman who would wear such excrescences on her feet would very likely also sport a concealed penis and have stubble showing through her make-up.
a day late and now i have to go and find those shoes al y'all are talkin about! lovely drawings and a very sweet story, dive. especially the recognition of what elizabeth really was and what we are now.
Yup. If only kid's realised that as they grow up, they'll find older faces and bodies attractive, too.
Just as well, really, or else we'd all be in big trouble!
Big trouble always sounds good at the time, but, Crikey, Dive.
Can't one just tell by the voice ?
I'll just have to learn Portuguese.
Bloody hell, bother,,,,,
Post a Comment