Hey, peeps! Prithee celebrate with me. Raise a glass of the alcoholic beverage of your own choosing to Old Dive's Miraculous Lightening.
A year ago this week I caught sight of myself on video, standing sideways on to the camera and - as I put it at the time - screamed like a girl.
Here is that offending video and the post that confirmed I had indeed swallowed a planet.
I weighed myself that very day and found to my horror that I weighed 104 kilos (almost 16 and a quarter stone in real money, or 229.3 pounds in American).
Having stuck a big red sign on my fridge saying "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" I proceeded not to go on a diet, not to cut down on the booze and not to exercise any more than I did at the time.
What I DID do, however, was begin a regime of portion control. For the past year I've eaten and drunk what the hell I wanted, when the hell I wanted it, but have not "cooked for two and not let it go to waste" which was my previous kitchen habit.
I have consumed many a gallon of Barolo and Pinot Grigio and Islay malt, together with a lorry load of Green and Black's organic chocolate, a veritable Tsukuji Market of fish and shellfish and have committed atrocities against the vegetable kingdom that would shock the squeamish.
This morning, as I stood on my scales (which read the same as those in my doctor's surgery, I'm happy to state) I find I weigh (tadaa) a mere 83.4 kilos (a little under 13 stone 2, or 183.8 pounds in American).
A year ago, I thought the only way I'd lose twenty pounds of ugly fat was to cut off my head, but instead, having shown no restraint whatsoever and not at any moment felt like I was was dieting, I discover I've shed 46 pounds.
Forty-six pounds! That's more than six-and-a-half seven pound babies! Sheesh! Try lifting that weight of bottled water and hefting it up and down the stairs and you'll see just how happy my knees are. Yay for the new, gravity-free me!
Without a belt, my jeans now fall straight to the floor, much to my amusement.
Anyhoo … I'm chuffed to bits, so while I stuff myself full of crayfish tails and salad I wish you all a very merry Sunday. Whoop whoop!
14 comments:
Oh, I am so pleased to know that, Dive - you sexy thing, you. And so is your heart.
My knees are the most vociferous in their thanks, Speedway; they no longer yell at me when I walk down stairs and they no longer creak out loud when I do squatty things in the gym.
Give it another year and I might yet fit into clothes that are measured by inches rather than yards.
Well done on this matey, that sounds so much more like common sense than the more normal thing of choosing a trendy diet, losing loads and then regaining it all before anyone's really noticed.
But we do need to see a video of the trousers refusing to stay up.
To the good fortune of all, I find myself of a sudden bereft of the wit to operate the video function on my camera.
I suppose now that I have - five and a half decades late - decided to try this "common sense" thing, I might apply it to other facets of life. But let's not be too hasty.
Yay for you, Dive!! Losing weight isn't an easy task, and keeping it off is sometimes even harder.
Coming from the most inspirational winner of the war on weight that I've ever known, any encouragement is doubly welcome. Thanks, Katherine.
Well done, sugar! xoxoxoxox
I confess to feeling kind of smug, Savannah. Still some way to go, however, so I'll stick to the wine, scotch, seafood and chocolate diet (perhaps I could patent that) and see if I can get the weight down a little further.
xoxoxoxox
Yay! Well done, Dive! Portion control is a wise way to lose weight.
You inspire me! Let's see how long it takes to make my too-tight pants fit me again.
I am so pleased with you, and glad that you cannot operate the camera with the trousers down!!
My sausage rolls will stay in the freezer then! But Phil did take some home on Sunday.
I'm not exactly wise, Ms.M. but I can vouch for the efficacy of the method.
Not long, Petrea. The weight comes off a little ata time but it stays off and keeps on coming off. Yay!
Anyhoo … you're slim and lissom; you don't NEED to diet.
Mum, the advantage of portion control is that I can still snaffle your sausage rolls … just no longer a dozen at a time.
B that's an unfortunate juxtaposition of Dive with trousers down and sausage rolls.....
Gimme the sausage rolls, any day.
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