What voice-over talent do you hire to read the Holy Bible, I wonder?
Ian McKellen? I daresay some Christians would say he doesn't qualify, though I think he'd be fabulous. James Earl Jones? I believe he's already recorded it at least once (it's on Amazon.com). Patrick Stewart? Ooh, that would make the Bible sexy. That's just not right.
I'm now feeling terrible that it didn't occur to me to suggest a woman.
I would be terrific at recording the Bible, though it might be tough to keep the sarcasm out of my voice in some passages.
I think I'd also enjoy hearing Emma Thompson read the Bible. I enjoy her cadence. Actually I'd really just rather have her read me a good, funny novel.
Vanda: Yikes! That is not something I would want to be surprised with on random iTunes.
Petrea: A sexy version of the bible? Hee hee. I was thinking more along the lines of Mel Blanc. Or perhaps Marge Simpson.
Katie: for Revelation I'd have Rush Limbaugh shout it over a lot of cartoon sound effects; the book is totally insane.
Petrea: Oh, hee hee hee! Thank you for making my day (indeed my entire decade); an audio version of the Bible dripping with sarcasm would be a number one hit! Go for it! You've got one sale already.
I think i'm out on my own here, but I don't get this week's WTF! Um. What's wrong with the Bible on audio CD? I'm part of a team which reads local news for the blind. Why not the bible too? Have I missed something?
Lynn: It's the juxtaposition of the icky Sentimental Moments and the New testament that got me. There's nothing wrong with an audio Bible, though I'm with Petrea in wondering just who might be the best person to provide the voice.
Kim: This is another one of Katie's photos. I love the way she captured the scary face looking through the hole at the top of the DVD cover. It's like somebody's trapped by awful sentimental moments and is longing for escape.
Well, at least it's the King James version; the only acceptable one for reading out loud, in my estimation. And yes, I'd go for Emma Thompson reading it.
I'm thinking that the couple listening to Spanish Guitar isn't thinking just sentimental thoughts.
Yes, catching that eyeball peeking through the slot is amazing.
Cynthia: I'm with you on the King James Version. I was brought up on that and when they tried to foist the Good News Bible on us as teenagers it was so awful none of us wanted to read it any more. All the poetry, beauty and majesty had been sucked out of it, a bit like decaff. Ick.
Lynn I took this photo at the same 99 cents store where last Monday's WTF photo was taken. It was indeed the wonderful juxtaposition of these two CDs that prompted me to photograph it. Plus the whole Bible for less than a dollar! I was bummed that there weren't CDs of Hawaiian ukulele music and dog training with The Dog Whisperer; those would have been perfect to go along with the tchotchkes I photographed.
I like listening to the voice of Anthony Hopkins. Sorry, Sir Anthony Hopkins. Though for the bible, the guy who played Captain Sisko in Star Trek, Deep Space Nine might work better.
Katie: the Bible for less than a dollar? Cool! That's more murder, mayhem and destruction (and unfeasible, many-headed, goat-based monsters … or was that just Ezekiel's drugs?) than any number of slasher movies. It would be even better with a ukelele accompaniment!
Vanda: To my undying shame (being not of the TV-minded persuasion, except for Buffy of course) I never saw any of Deep Space Nine. Though Anthoy Hopkins would be good as long as he read it in his Hannibal Lecter voice.
Katherine: Morgan Freeman is way too sexy for The Bible!
Lulu: I feel she would bring a much-needed gravitas to the proceedings.
i actually used to have a side job editing books on tape, or rather, reading along with the tape and marking in the text where the reader messed up or there was a bad segue or glitch of some sort. one assignment was chapter uno of the bible. so i read it really carefully and listened very carefully and marked the mistakes and decided .... that it's totally crazy stuff! people living to be hundreds of years old, begetting child after child who also live for hundreds of years. one gal tricking her own father into ... i won't even go into it. it's just ... strange stuff. adam and eve are fun, but then it got really really strange.
Dive, we'll be reading Revelations this fall at Bible Study. Too bad we don't have any Rush Limbaugh type to rant at us. I've never really read it, so this should be a real eye-opener. I'll have to check my local 99¢ store to see if they have a find like this.
The Bible is public domain so there's nothing holding me back. I'll just get to work on that in my spare time. I'll need a director to help me interpret. Dive?
Cali: It's a great read. There's some excellent history, some boffo parables, the Beatitudes (which rule even for Atheists), some totally stoned ranting, lots and lots of sex and violence, all sorts of torture, some great monsters, some frankly very silly bits, a nifty striptease and some good songs, too. Worth anyone's dollar, I'd say. I've got three of the things, but I'm still waiting for the Director's Cut to be released.
Trish: Ah, Genesis. The book is almost as silly as the band. Don't let that put you off the rest of the Bible (see above). Even Genesis is good to read out loud … if you're drunk or stoned.
Lupine Lady: Revelations is great! DId you ever see Monty Python's Life of Brian? There's a bit in there (where Brian falls from the balcony and ends up amongst the ranty prophets) where a mad Scotsman is shouting all sorts of insane gibberish. That's straight out of Ezekiel, and Revelations is almost as bonkers. … Unless of course you're an Evangelist. When THEY read it, all the bits about monsters and doom are very clearly prophecies about President Obama and his Socialist healthcare reforms.
Petrea: People wouldn't listen to the message; they'd be lost in the dreaminess of the voices.
Vanda: Yay! He's pretty cool! Looks like I missed some fun.
Cali: Me, too!
Petrea and Cali: Hee hee! Me as a director? I can't even direct TRAFFIC! I'd love to hear you read the Beatitudes though, Petrea. Not of course the Python version … "Blessed are the cheesemakers" etc.
Heehee. I knew this was another Katie photo. I also frequent dollar stores!
I think to do the Bible justice, you will have to use several voice actors. Anthony Hopkins is classic old testament. Perhaps Emma could do Psalms. I do agree with Rush on revelation. You need a southern fire and brimstone preacher for Paul's letters. (He started that movement in my opinion).
Jesus should be voiced by a passionate black preacher. (Barack Obama would do).
Is that guy's hand about to go under her skirt? Nooooooooooooooooooo. I guess not. Just my imagination working overtime. This photo made me laugh out loud. Thanks Dive. Thanks Katie. You "guys" make my day.
neetzy, that gives me a giggle. I'm madly in love with Obama but just think about his speech patterns for a second. Now think about him doing Jesus: “You have heard. the law that says. ‘Love your neighbor.’ and hate your enemy. But I say. love your enemies. Pray for those. who persecute you. Yes you can."
33 comments:
Best if played together.
What voice-over talent do you hire to read the Holy Bible, I wonder?
Ian McKellen? I daresay some Christians would say he doesn't qualify, though I think he'd be fabulous.
James Earl Jones? I believe he's already recorded it at least once (it's on Amazon.com).
Patrick Stewart? Ooh, that would make the Bible sexy. That's just not right.
Vanda I think Spanish guitar would definitely make Revelation slightly less onerous-sounding.
Petrea too bad George Burns is no longer with us; he was very believable as God in "Oh God" back in 1977.
I'm now feeling terrible that it didn't occur to me to suggest a woman.
I would be terrific at recording the Bible, though it might be tough to keep the sarcasm out of my voice in some passages.
I think I'd also enjoy hearing Emma Thompson read the Bible. I enjoy her cadence. Actually I'd really just rather have her read me a good, funny novel.
Vanda: Yikes! That is not something I would want to be surprised with on random iTunes.
Petrea: A sexy version of the bible? Hee hee.
I was thinking more along the lines of Mel Blanc.
Or perhaps Marge Simpson.
Katie: for Revelation I'd have Rush Limbaugh shout it over a lot of cartoon sound effects; the book is totally insane.
Petrea: Oh, hee hee hee! Thank you for making my day (indeed my entire decade); an audio version of the Bible dripping with sarcasm would be a number one hit!
Go for it! You've got one sale already.
I think i'm out on my own here, but I don't get this week's WTF! Um. What's wrong with the Bible on audio CD? I'm part of a team which reads local news for the blind. Why not the bible too? Have I missed something?
Lynn: It's the juxtaposition of the icky Sentimental Moments and the New testament that got me.
There's nothing wrong with an audio Bible, though I'm with Petrea in wondering just who might be the best person to provide the voice.
Spanish guitar, why not. But is that a DVD like whatever's behind it? Just thinking about what the images might be scares me!
And yes, it would kind of slow down your iTunes shuffle list to hit "Holy Bible". I wonder how many days it lists as in iTunes?
Kim: This is another one of Katie's photos. I love the way she captured the scary face looking through the hole at the top of the DVD cover. It's like somebody's trapped by awful sentimental moments and is longing for escape.
Well, at least it's the King James version; the only acceptable one for reading out loud, in my estimation. And yes, I'd go for Emma Thompson reading it.
I'm thinking that the couple listening to Spanish Guitar isn't thinking just sentimental thoughts.
Yes, catching that eyeball peeking through the slot is amazing.
Cynthia: I'm with you on the King James Version. I was brought up on that and when they tried to foist the Good News Bible on us as teenagers it was so awful none of us wanted to read it any more. All the poetry, beauty and majesty had been sucked out of it, a bit like decaff. Ick.
Lynn I took this photo at the same 99 cents store where last Monday's WTF photo was taken. It was indeed the wonderful juxtaposition of these two CDs that prompted me to photograph it. Plus the whole Bible for less than a dollar! I was bummed that there weren't CDs of Hawaiian ukulele music and dog training with The Dog Whisperer; those would have been perfect to go along with the tchotchkes I photographed.
I like listening to the voice of Anthony Hopkins. Sorry, Sir Anthony Hopkins. Though for the bible, the guy who played Captain Sisko in Star Trek, Deep Space Nine might work better.
Morgan Freeman for the Bible reading!
"Evan Almighty" anyone?
Marge Simpson...brilliant!!
Katie: the Bible for less than a dollar? Cool! That's more murder, mayhem and destruction (and unfeasible, many-headed, goat-based monsters … or was that just Ezekiel's drugs?) than any number of slasher movies.
It would be even better with a ukelele accompaniment!
Vanda: To my undying shame (being not of the TV-minded persuasion, except for Buffy of course) I never saw any of Deep Space Nine.
Though Anthoy Hopkins would be good as long as he read it in his Hannibal Lecter voice.
Katherine: Morgan Freeman is way too sexy for The Bible!
Lulu: I feel she would bring a much-needed gravitas to the proceedings.
I had a feeling this was Katie's handiwork!
Perhaps I should invest a dollar and finally learn what all this talk of a Bible is about? Nah! :D
i actually used to have a side job editing books on tape, or rather, reading along with the tape and marking in the text where the reader messed up or there was a bad segue or glitch of some sort. one assignment was chapter uno of the bible. so i read it really carefully and listened very carefully and marked the mistakes and decided .... that it's totally crazy stuff! people living to be hundreds of years old, begetting child after child who also live for hundreds of years. one gal tricking her own father into ... i won't even go into it. it's just ... strange stuff. adam and eve are fun, but then it got really really strange.
Dive, we'll be reading Revelations this fall at Bible Study. Too bad we don't have any Rush Limbaugh type to rant at us. I've never really read it, so this should be a real eye-opener. I'll have to check my local 99¢ store to see if they have a find like this.
Cali, perhaps if Morgan Freeman read it to you...? Or Patrick Stewart?
Dive, Sisko. What do you think?
Petrea: LOL! I'm with Sister Trish on this one . . . strange stuff indeed. I would buy a copy if it were read by you. ;-)
Thanks, Cali.
The Bible is public domain so there's nothing holding me back. I'll just get to work on that in my spare time. I'll need a director to help me interpret. Dive?
Dive as director is inspired thinking! I wonder if he has any spare time?
Cali: It's a great read. There's some excellent history, some boffo parables, the Beatitudes (which rule even for Atheists), some totally stoned ranting, lots and lots of sex and violence, all sorts of torture, some great monsters, some frankly very silly bits, a nifty striptease and some good songs, too.
Worth anyone's dollar, I'd say. I've got three of the things, but I'm still waiting for the Director's Cut to be released.
Trish: Ah, Genesis. The book is almost as silly as the band. Don't let that put you off the rest of the Bible (see above). Even Genesis is good to read out loud … if you're drunk or stoned.
Lupine Lady: Revelations is great! DId you ever see Monty Python's Life of Brian? There's a bit in there (where Brian falls from the balcony and ends up amongst the ranty prophets) where a mad Scotsman is shouting all sorts of insane gibberish. That's straight out of Ezekiel, and Revelations is almost as bonkers.
…
Unless of course you're an Evangelist. When THEY read it, all the bits about monsters and doom are very clearly prophecies about President Obama and his Socialist healthcare reforms.
Petrea: People wouldn't listen to the message; they'd be lost in the dreaminess of the voices.
Vanda: Yay! He's pretty cool! Looks like I missed some fun.
Cali: Me, too!
Petrea and Cali: Hee hee! Me as a director? I can't even direct TRAFFIC!
I'd love to hear you read the Beatitudes though, Petrea.
Not of course the Python version … "Blessed are the cheesemakers" etc.
Ah ok, understand, lol. I thought that when I saw the pic firstly but then the comments made me think I'd missed something higher! :D
That reminds me!!! Have you ever seen the Brick Testameent (aka Lego Bible)? It's a must.
Heehee. I knew this was another Katie photo. I also frequent dollar stores!
I think to do the Bible justice, you will have to use several voice actors. Anthony Hopkins is classic old testament. Perhaps Emma could do Psalms. I do agree with Rush on revelation. You need a southern fire and brimstone preacher for Paul's letters. (He started that movement in my opinion).
Jesus should be voiced by a passionate black preacher. (Barack Obama would do).
Just my opinion.
Is that guy's hand about to go under her skirt? Nooooooooooooooooooo. I guess not. Just my imagination working overtime.
This photo made me laugh out loud. Thanks Dive. Thanks Katie. You "guys" make my day.
neetzy, that gives me a giggle. I'm madly in love with Obama but just think about his speech patterns for a second. Now think about him doing Jesus: “You have heard. the law that says. ‘Love your neighbor.’ and hate your enemy. But I say. love your enemies. Pray for those. who persecute you. Yes you can."
Lynn: With me there is never any deeper meaning or higher purpose.
Vanda: I have that wonderful site down in my sidebar links, along with many other similar treats.
Neetzy: You've given that a disturbing amount of thought. Hee hee.
Mark: Your imagination is at least normal; I thought they were conjoined twins.
Petrea: Thank you for making me laugh my breakfast out through my nose.
Yes, Petrea, thank you!!! LOL!
He should say "Tiddle poo" after that, but that's going to be my catch-phrase when I run for president.
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