Hey, we've not had a meme for donkey's years.
Maria posted this one so I thought I'd give it a go.
Yadda, yadda, yadda …
1) What bill do you hate paying the most?
My monthly direct debit to the stupid rail company. Over ten grand a year (that's Sterling, not toy Dollars) and what do I get in return? Seven hours a day minimum of pure, concentrated suffering and misery, delays, filth and incompetence from the world's worst train company.
2) Do you miss being a child?
Not any more, because there's this.
They sell this …
… this …
And this!
3) Chore you hate the most?
Scrubbing the smegging bathroom. Sheesh! They can put a man on the moon but they can't develop a self-cleaning toilet.
Bastards!
4) Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Right here at this very table.
5) If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be?
In my whole life?
I wouldn't have eaten that whole tub of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Macadamia earlier today.
Not because it made me ill, but because there's none left, dammit!
6) Name of your first grade teacher?
What's first grade? No idea. I'll have to ask Katie before I answer that one …
Hokay. So I started school at age four and Katie says First Grade in the US is age six, so that makes it Miss. Gibson.
Yay! I was teacher's pet in her class.
7) What do you really want to be doing right now?
That's a darned stupid question. My honeypie is six thousand miles away.
8)What did you want to be when you grew up?
An astronaut or a Beatle. Sheesh, I was a kid in the sixties, what else WAS there?
9) How many colleges did you attend?
Five to date and still counting.
10) Why did you choose the shirt you have on right now?
I didn't. It's one Katie chose because I have the dress sense of a 1980s Australian.
11) What are your thoughts on gas prices?
My thoughts are that people in the US should stop whining about gas prices. Over here, when your tank is getting near empty it's cheaper to buy a new car than to fill the fucker up again.
12) First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Wh … erp … gggn … followed by "Get your saggy ass out of bed because it's time to videochat with Katie."
13) Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Hey, I've told you … She's six thousand miles away and her photo is beside my bed. What do you THINK I was thinking about when I went to sleep?
Duh!
14) What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Steve Albini. He's my personal deity.
15) Have you crashed your vehicle?
No. I always look like this.
16) If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yup. I've done work for the Norfolk Wildlife Trust and a whole host of charity stuff and I'd go do some more.
17) Get up early or sleep in?
The alarms go off at 4:40 AM and I like to be in bed long before nine in the evening.
Sucky but true.
18) What is your favorite cartoon character?
I've always loved Fred Quimby era Tom and Jerry, though I've not seen any for decades. As a role model, however, I've based my life on Hans Moleman from The Simpsons.
19) Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl?
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Let's just refer you to the conversation between Sue White and Doctor Mac.
You know the one; about the little pink bunny that lives in the enchanted forest.
Whaddya mean you've never watched Green Wing?
20) When did you first start feeling old?
When I was seventeen and a little kid called me "Mister". I thought my whole damned life had ended.
21) Favorite lunch meat?
Whale sashimi. Mmmmmmmmmmm …
22) What do you get every time you go to Wal-Mart?
I dunno. Some kind of disease? Is this a trick question?
I've never been within two thousand miles of a Wal Mart.
23) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I'm not exactly the right person to ask.
It's probably no more outdated a ritual than sacrificing animals and reading the future in their entrails. Though it's also probably not quite as much fun.
24) Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I hate to admit it but I rather enjoyed Die Hard 4.0.
25) What's your favorite drink?
Liquid.
26) Who from high school would you like to run into?
Hell's donkeys! I can't remember that far back. I just sat here for a few minutes straining my brain; I can recall very few of them and I really don't think I want to see any of them ever again.
27) What radio station is your car tuned to right now?
BBC Radio 3.
Always.
28) Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
I've never seen either but I've been told the Sopranos is good.
29) Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Looking at Ming the Menstrual and not walking away.
30) Do you like the person who sits across from you at work?
Yup. Especially when I'm working from home.
31) Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Fortunately not.
32) Last book you finished reading?
The glorious Ted Hughes translation of Ovid's Metamorphoses. Yay!
33) Do you have a teddy bear?
No. I have a blue rubber cat.
34) Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
One too many scuzzy changing rooms at weird gigs and festivals.
35) Do you go to church?
Hahahahaha!
36) How old are you?
Hawai'i Five-O
That's your lot.
22 comments:
Hey, I was an Australian in the 80's.
If you were running around in flippy little skirts and Gym boots and midriff shirts with an armload of black O rings, well.......
Actually I'd like to see photographic evidence of this timewarp fashion.
somehow i always picture you wearing black, sugar! xoxxoo
Kate: That describes me to a tee. Hee hee.
Savannah: I'm having to change my wardrobe so Katie can look at me without flinching.
xoxox
Dive I don't have a problem with your wardrobe (well, maybe a few items); I really don't care what you wear (except when you're in Paris with me), as long as you don't blame your fashion sense on Australia -- you've never even been there! I thought Die Hard 4 was pretty good too. I actually left work early to see it because a co-worker was driving me insane and that was a good (and legal) way to exact my revenge. Nice to know you've volunteered for a Wildlife Trust; that says a lot about you. Tom and Jerry AND Metamorphoses. At least I can keep up with Tom and Jerry. And now you have me singing the Hawaii 5-0 them. Thanks a lot! Book 'em Danno.
I'm still reeling from #1 and #2! The first made me choke and question your sanity...again, sorry. ;)
The second made me inhale hard and guffaw at the thought of tighty whities for the hand. Good grief that's hilarious. Bacon and monkeys are some of my very favorite subjects of amusement as well. I just never tire of them. Glad you shared that web site.
Of course the rest of the list is golden too but I have a new rule for my comment lengths. I'm cutting back by 43% so I can get more done in a day.
he he Shan like the 43%!
I also liked No. 15 Dive.
I loved reading this. Who knew that we both liked Tom & Jerry. And a reference to Ming too. Wasnt she the one that had one of the cutest and well-rounded arses in the UK? Dive, your humor is rock solid.
Katie dear, Dive didn't need to come to Australia to observe the 80s fashions. London was fair to bursting with folks from Oz in the 80's and I bet that most of them probably were dressed badly.
I'm with you on the bathroom cleaning. I can actually cope with the loo, it's scrubbing the bath that does my back in.
As for that website - I'm rather pleased that I don't have children, not counting MB of course. :)
Which Beatle did you want to be, Dive?
OH my gosh. I didn't get beyond #2 because at the sight of Handerpants, I nearly fell off of my chair.
hee hee hee hee hee
Ok, now I'll go back and read the rest of this.
Yep, The Sopranos is very good. It's over, though, so I've moved on. Now I like United States of Tera and Weeds.
#15 was my favorite, too.
Dive's mind is divine.
I laughed through the whole thing.
I am surprised by this post. I though you did not do quiz's - isn't this something typically found on one of those social networking sites?
That said - I enjoyed your answers. Even though the quiz is oriented to us Americans. By the way, Archie McPhee is the best - they have a big store here in Seattle that sells everything in their catalog. Maybe Katie will take you there on a visit
I laughed through the whole thing, too.
We have a store here that sells several of the McPhee items (we have the WWBD spinner up in our kitchen)
Go, Archie McPhee!!!
Have a couple of stories about that outfit, but too tired tonight and gotta get up too early in the morning.
We'll see what I can do tomorrow. Love that place.
Katie: I'll let you throw out anything in my wardrobe that offends you. Even my last remaining Hawai'ian shirt.
Lynn: What position is number 15? Refresh my memory.
Shan: I choke and question my sanity every time I get on the stupid train. Glad you liked the Archie McPhee stuff.
Katie introduced me to the site as a kind of personality test. If I hadn't found it funny she'd have been worried, but I laughed until I cried so I think I passed the test.
Mark: Yay for Tom and Jerry! I do love good family ultraviolence. Foghorn Leghorn was fun, too … bait the dog until he runs out to the end of his chain and chokes and then beat him senseless with a baseball bat. We used to love that when we were kids. One can learn some important life lessons from cartoons.
Mme: I love Aussie fashion. My jibe was actually a Spinal Tap reference (Janine dresses "like an Australian's nightmare").
Here's hoping that someone develops a self-cleaning loo soon!
Cali: I was a John man, though I loved all of 'em.
Robyn: You like what?!?!?
Katherine: The rest of me is pretty sordid. Hey ho.
Petrea: Yikes! That's my life you're laughing at! Hee hee.
Christine: Ah, the Facebook thang. Delve into my archives and you'll find hundreds of these meme things from long before Facebook. I stopped when everybody started doing them but this one appears to have crept through my defences.
Katie has actually visited the Archie McPhee HQ in Seattle. What a gal!
Ms.M: I always knew you had impeccable taste. What a wonderful kitchen decoration that must be.
Sarah: I can't wait to hear your Archie stories. I'm so glad Katie introduced me to them.
Isn't it time for a new sentence yet?
I have literary itch here.
And it's not pretty.
Not until tomorrow, Itchy!
But just because you were so industrious last week and wrote two whole stories, this week's sentence has been chosen from a novel about Australia (yay)!
Hey Dive, related to the previous post: Try to get hold of some mangalica meat products (ham, Pick salami, etc.). It's supposed to be the king of pork, on level with Iberico. It's not available in the US, though that might change soon.
United States of Tara (I spelled it incorrectly before). It's about a woman with multiple personalities, and her husband and two kids develop relationships with each one, except for the one that's more like a giant insect than a human being.
And Weeds is about a woman who has made a living as a pot dealer (a good living), and she's trying to be a good mother to her kids despite the setting she raises them in.
Vanda: Yay! Thank you for shopping advice. I'll ask for it next time I'm in there (Saturday).
Robyn: TV in the US scares me.
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