If there is a God, then may He, She, It or Them bless Maria for saving me from blogger's block once again and presenting me with a meme.
This one says, put your iPod on shuffle and press next for each question. Write down the song that's playing as an answer.
This could either be fun or a complete disaster (much like the options that greet me when my alarms go off every morning).
I'll weed out the classical ones, as answering "What Do You Like In A Guy/Girl?" with "Scuoti quella fronda di ciliegio" or "Variatio 15 a 1 Clav. Canone alla Quinta in moto contrario" is not going to get us anywhere.
Right! Eyes down … Let the crap hit the fan!
1) How would you describe yourself?
Glorious Fool, by John Martyn, from the album of the same name.
I kid you not; this was the first track that came up!
Maybe my shuffle button knows the inner secrets of the universe.
Okay; I liked that one. What's up next?
2) What do you like in a guy/girl?
Blue Boy, by Joni Mitchell, from Ladies Of The Canyon.
HA!
I knew the first song was too good to be true; I just KNEW it!
C'mon, guys! I like kissing girls and looking at pert little boobs. I do NOT like … er … boys; blue or otherwise.
Okay, so my house looks like it's been attacked by gay decorators and is full of Tiffany lamps and paintings and books but that doesn't mean I … er …
Aww crap!
3) What is your motto?
Hello Central, Give Me Heaven, by The Carter Family, from The Best Of The Carter Family, Volume II.
Holy fuck! Perhaps God knows something this old atheist doesn't.
Shan; you could be right, my friend.
4) What do your friends think of you?
Complete Control, by The Clash, digitised off the original single.
Hee hee. I LOVE this meme! It tells lies about me that make me giggle.
For the record, I am not a control freak.
I AM NOT!
5) What do you think about often?
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes, by Frank Zappa, off Sheik Yerbouti.
Cool!
And true.
I've had enough of broken fucking hearts.
6) What do your parents think of you?
Puddin' Fingers, by The Handsome Family, off Milk And Scissors.
Yup. Phil and me always argued and fought to be the one to clean out the mixing bowl when mum baked cakes and puds.
Dee-smegging-licious!
7) What do you think of your best friend?
Be True, Be True Blues, by Henry Sims and Charley Patton, off Charley Patton: The Complete Recordings: Disc III.
Well, I suppose my small bunch of best buddies have lasted me the best part of fifty years, so they're pretty damned true.
8) What do you think of the person you like?
The Fat Lady Of Limbourg, by Brian Eno, from Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy.
Uh-oh … Shit, I'm in big trouble now.
9) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Underdog, by Lisa Loeb, from Hello Lisa.
Yeah, I suppose I'm comfortable with that.
Not that I ever want to grow up.
10) What do you think when you see the person you like?
It Hurts So Good, by Millie Jackson, digitised from the original single.
Wow! This meme speaks more truth than the Magic Eight Ball did when I was a kid!
11) What song will they play at your wedding?
Woo Hoo, by the 5,6,7,8s, from the Kill Bill Soundtrack.
I think that one speaks for itself. Woohoo!
12) What will they play at your funeral?
Slidin' Home, by Danny Gatton, off 88, Elmira Street.
Fuck, I cannot believe this! I am honestly not cheating; just sitting here, hitting the next track button and grinning like a fool.
13) What is your hobby/interest?
Emily, by Bill Evans, from Bill Evans Live.
Really? I know three Emilys and I'm pretty damned sure this will give them nightmares.
14) What is your biggest fear?
All Of You, by Miles Davis, off 'Round About Midnight.
Hee hee hee! I laughed my socks off when this one came up.
Sorry, guys, but it looks like y'all are truly scary.
15) What is your biggest secret?
To Die A Virgin, by The Divine Comedy, off Victory For The Comic Muse.
Holy frijole, this just gets funnier and funnier.
Er … Okay, so I've not had sex for so many millennia that perhaps I can class myself as a born-again virgin.
16) What do you think of your friends?
Come On In My Kitchen, by Robert Johnson, from Robert Johnson, The Complete Recordings, Volume I
Aaaahh. that's kinda sweet.
C'mon in, folks; the kettle's singin' and I'm cookin' up a storm.
17) What is your theme song?
Hey, Nineteen, by Steely Dan, off Gaucho.
Holy crapola! My midlife crisis has burst out of the closet.
Okay, I'll fess up! Just like in the song, I want to sleep with nineteen year olds while drinking tequila and snorting coke. Who the fuck doesn't?
Well maybe not the coke …
18) What do you think of your family?
I Don't Want To Hear It Anymore, by Dusty Springfield, off Dusty In Memphis.
Hee hee hee. Well, Mum and Phil often pop in to read this, so now they know.
19) What is your best friend's theme song?
Kittypants, by Shellac, off Excellent Italian Greyhound.
Yeah, right!
20) What is your mood right now?
Morrissey's Rubber Sheet, a talky anecdote about Morrissey and … er … a rubber sheet, off a bootleg recording of Billy Bragg, Live At The Barbican.
Well, I suppose that probably does indeed sum things up right now.
21) If your heart could talk what would it say?
Love Will Tear Us Apart: Susanna And The Magical Orchestra's lovely cover of the old Joy Division classic.
Actually, it's a bit late for that.
22) What do your co-workers think of you?
Muskrat Love, by America, from The Definitive America.
Now you're just taking the piss.
23) What does your future look like?
Fareweel (sic) Regality, by Rachel Unthank And The Winterset, off The Bairns.
Woohoo!
Hoorah for a bunch of fat Noocastle birds singing folk songs in their front room. They've foretold the downfall of the monarchy.
Sorry, Lynn, but the Magic iPod never lies … except of course with the Blue Boy thing.
Well, that was refreshing.
I think you'd all be well advised to sit there with that bunch of questions and flick through your songs on shuffle and see just what it says about you.
17 comments:
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes - classic track. More women should listen to that instead of dross like "I Will Survive" after they get dumped. The world would be a happier place.
It would indeed, Istvanski.
Zappa wrote some sweet and lovely tracks for girls; Jewish Princess is one of my favourites: "I want a nasty little Jewish princess, with a couple of sisters who could raise a few blisters … She can even be poor, as long as she does it with four on the floor."
Hoorah for Frank!
WHOA! And double WHOA! That WAS better than an 8 ball's fortune for sure. BAHAHAHHA! I'm generally too lazy for memes but this one might be fun to do with my Ipod because it is full of episodes of 'This American Life'.
Here are a few notes I took on yours:
#2- There was quite a lot of nervous banter going on there Dive. Makes one think doesn't it? wink wink nudge nudge. Isn't there a magazine by that name also? Cyndi Lauper sings of it in 'She Bop'.
#3-The Shan is always right. Well, in this case anyway. Still winking still nudging.
#12- I was so hoping that Stairway to Heaven would come up here on a guitar players ipod. "Slidin'" usually does refer to going down so Shans getting her armor back on! :D
That was entirely TOO entertaining!! You were so right to leave out the classical. Hey and Ho! Bah and Ha!
This is classic! Since I'm new to your blog, and haven't had time to completely go through your archives, it was fun to get a mini-biography about you in songs! (And now I have to go find some of these songs that I haven't heard of.) I didn't know that America did Muskrat Love; I only know the Captain & Tennile version. I don't know if I dare to do this little exercise myself!
Muskrat love?! Wait! You have Muskrat Love in your collection!?!
Well i don't have an ipod so i grabbed the nearest CD. The wonderful but troubled Amy Winehouse. Seemed to work anyway. I won't bore you with them all but the answer to What's your biggest fear was Monkeyman and What's your mood right now was Love Is A Losing Game. Ha! You're right. It's fun!
Hey, Hi Katie!
Hey Lynn! I actually just got the Amy Winehouse Back to Black CD, and really am enjoying it immensely. I'm a little late to the Winehouse party; makes me feel like I'm so out of touch!
So without cheating I wrote down the first 23 actual shuffled songs on my ipod (the only thing I skipped was a French lesson that came up) then paired them up with your questions Dive. My favorite two were:
If your heart could talk, what would it say?
Wouldn't it be Nice (The Beach Boys). You can say that again!
What does your future look like?
Superstylin' (Groove Armada). If you've never heard of Groove Armada, run right out and get Goodbye County (Hello Nightclub). Hard for anyone not to be superstylin when listening to that CD!
Thanks for the fun exercise Dive!
Shan: Of course you're always right.
No.2: I do have a "gay decorator" gene somewhere in my system.
I also love housework.
Go figure.
No.3: It seems the Magic iPod can reveal things we deny.
No.12: Stairway to Heaven has been rightfully banned from all guitar shops and gigs for decades now.
I did enjoy playing it back when it was cool, though (about two years in the seventies).
As for "Slidin' Home", I'd not heard that reference. It's a lovely slide guitar track by a wonderful and virtually unheard of guitar player who died too young. That's why I thought it apt.
Ba and Ha. Hee hee.
Hi, Katie. I've been a Groove Armada fan since At The River, the one with Patti Page's "Old Cape Cod" vocal and that lovely trombone figure.
Cool.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Robyn: you would back away pretty quickly from some of the stuff in my collection, believe me.
Love is indeed a losing game, Lynn. I'm glad you managed to play.
I saw Maria's first and then looking through this, I was in a state of utter dismay. Not because of your answers; the titles spoke for themselves but because I only knew TWO of the songs - one of them being Muskrat Love although, like Scout, I only know the Capt & Tenille version.
Holy Cow. This means that muscially I am totally out of date and stuck in a bit of a time warp. Probably has something to do with the fact that I don't have an iPod!
Anyway, I'm off to youtube now to see if I can find some of these titles and educate myself.
Phew!
PS I love guys who love housework. Could you whisper this in M.B's ear sometime? I'm a total let down in the ironing department and it's getting to be a bit of an issue!
A few dilemmas Dive
!. I don't have an Ipod
2. I can't find the shuffle button on the record player
3. Most of those songs I've never heard of.
4. I can't download anything on UTube
with my 18th century phone lines
And
5. I don't even have a bloody gas oven to put an end to it all!!!
Me, tell an Australian male to do housework, Mme?
Yikes!
I want to live a little longer.
Don't worry about not knowing stuff on my iPod. I have every piece of music I've ever bought on my Macs, a total of well over 150 Gig of deliberately obscure weirdery.
Jules:
Choose records at random from your collection, then close your eyes to pick particular tracks.
Give it a go. It's kinda revealing and fun.
how did i miss this sunday meme? oh yeah, i was dead asleep or readingthe newspaper...as in a real sunday layabout kinda day, sugar! i'll have to snag this and do it soon i feel a blog brain freeze approaching! xoxxo
How often does THAT shit happen? When I did it, it was such nonsense! I had to struggle to even think of something interesting to make of all of them and there you go...getting a meme that hits it square on the head with you.
I think I will keep my eye on you, Dive. There is a bit of the prophecy on you, yes?
Savannah: Sundays are for relaxing. You did the right thing.
Maria: I was astonished when I hit play and "Glorious Fool" started up.
Some of them were pretty tough to make fit, but some seemed so perfect, like"All Of You" being the thing that scares me most. That one made me snort.
I must be an Asshole many times over hee hee
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