And so the Atheist sallies forth to Saint Larry's to check out the Good Friday morning service.
Don't laugh. I was brought up a good Christian; it was only when my brain had developed sufficiently to form the word "Huh?" that I kinda fell off the God-wagon.
And Easter is, after all, a cracking story.
You don't need to believe in the resurrection to enjoy it.
For a heathen like me it's like any other good story; f'rinstance I don't believe everything that nice Mister Clemens tells me ol' Huck Finn got up to but I still love reading about it.
The Good Book is a good book. Even for an Atheist …
Especially for an Atheist!
Sheesh! You should see some of the stuff in there! I was reading Ezekiel the other day and that bloke was off his trolley! You remember the bizarre, ranty prophet in Life of Brian? Worse … Much worse! And funnier.
So anyhoo; your correspondent got well wrapped up and walked into the village through the teeth of an arctic gale (snow heralded for tomorrow) and sat in the back pew (reserved for the village's token anarcho-syndicalist) to enjoy the show.
And enjoy it I did, even though most of the hymns were of the happy-clappy-crappy modern variety, except for Walton's wonderful setting of Fletcher's "A Litany" ("Drop, drop, slow tears, and bathe those beauteous feet …").
Linnet (yes, it's what his parents called him) read from John 19 and gave a goodish sermon but he somehow got all entangled with the war in Iraq, bless him.
I even - in that strange way that we feel it is somehow right to endure a bit of suffering on Good Friday - rather enjoyed the sensation of sitting on a hard wooden pew in a thirteenth century stone building equipped with a very few Victorian heating pipes (to describe the efficacy of which the phrase "wholly inadequate" is … er … wholly inadequate), on a freezing cold morning; my poor old legs will take days to recover from the bone-chilling ordeal.
But here we come to the part that set my teeth on edge and kinda spoiled things for me (as I knew it would; it always does) … The appalling desecration that is the "Good News Bible"; like flares and tank tops in fetching shades of brown, this abomination encapsulates all that is shameful about the 1970s, and its introduction has driven multitudes of Christians away from their churches.
Listen up:
I'm old.
I was brought up with the King James Version, that paragon of linguistic and poetic beauty that has given our language more wonderful phrases than Shakespeare.
I agree that - for those whose Latin and Greek are even more rusty than mine - we need a version of the Bible that ordinary folk can read and understand, but to me the KJV is "it".
Don't mess with perfection.
A bit of background:
Poor old John Wycliffe was the first to have a real go at the job, translating the Vulgate into English in 1380, but he was promptly throttled into unconsciousness and then burned for his trouble.
William Tyndale had a crack at it, eventually coming up with the translation used by Henry VIII (and look at the trouble he caused with it), only for this and all other English translations to be burned when Mary and the Catholics got back in power.
Next up came the "Geneva" Bible - Elizabeth's Bible - the translation used by Shakespeare and John Bunyan, the pilgrim fathers and good old Ollie Cromwell.
But these were simple and literal transliterations of the Latin translation of Saint Jerome. The theological conference of 1604 called for a new translation, "as consonant as can be to the original Hebrew and Greek", but written specifically to be read aloud, in the glorious "high" English of the day.
This became the KJV and to this old and bitter pedant, as beautiful and unsurpassed a work of literature as anything Shakespeare and Chaucer produced, using the same rich cadences and powerful poetic majesty of the English language at its zenith.
In this vulgar modern world where grunting chavs binge-drink in front of the telly rather than read books, a rift is developing in the English language between the spoken and the written word and every few decades some misguided idiot decides that the Bible needs a new translation to enable an increasingly illiterate and ignorant population to understand it.
The "thing" currently being used in my lovely little village church can most generously be described as a paraphrasing of the events in the Bible. Much like a bloke down the pub describing what he saw on telly last night. The beauty and the poetry and the power have been lost from the language and replaced with the dull and plodding descriptive prose of a TV guide.
And it's not just the Bible; Chaucer has suffered a similar fate.
Dryden first tried "updating" him, to appalling effect, but I'll use Wright's rather better Oxford University Press verse translation to demonstrate what I'm trying to get across here:
When an unsuspecting member of the public buys Chaucer's Canterbury Tales these days, here's what they get (from the description of the Knight in the prologue):
There was a KNIGHT, a reputable man,
Who, from the moment that he first began
Campaigning, had cherished the profession
Of arms, he also prized trustworthiness,
Liberality, fame and courteousness.
So far, so hoopy …
But compare that to what Chaucer actually wrote:
A KNYGHT ther was & that a worthy man,
That fro the tyme that he first bigan
To riden out, he loved chivalrie,
Trouth and honour, fredom and curtesie.
Wow!
Chaucer doesn't need translation.
He is perfectly readable in Early English.
And his language is wonderfully rich and expressive.
Contrast those two passages again (read them aloud) and you'll see just how much the modern reader loses out. And it is the same with the KJV.
Fortunately Shakespeare has not (yet) suffered this treatment, otherwise we might be seeing poor Hamlet soliloquize:
To live or to die.
That's the question.
Whether it's best to put up with all the shit that happens
Or to just say "Fuck it." and top meself …
It can't be long …
I'm glad I'll be dead soon.
Church congregations have plummeted in England since the seventies.
And for me and millions like me the main reason for this has been the introduction of the Bible in modern colloquial English.
It has lost its poetry, its beauty, its power.
It is no substitute for the real thing.
Sorry, Linnet, but other than on special occasions like today when I'll pop along for a sing-song and a sermon, I'll read my KJV at home.
And don't get me started on modern hymns!
15 comments:
modern hymns. Gross.
I was raised with the KJV, too, but I set it aside for the New International Version. The Good News Bible was a fad in the States for awhile, but it went the way of the hoola hoop. there are plenty of other paraphrases around, though. And people argue about them all the time. I don't think that's what God had in mind. I think he really is bothered.
Haer here hirr. I hear what you say and can only agree in the strongest possible terms.
And thereto I pledge thee my troth.
The stunning ignorance of the fluidity of the English language that abounds is breathtaking. One thinks that progress in going forward is all that counts.
The language is becoming phonetic. Why bother; it always was. The difference was simply in its beauty.
Robyn: I'd far rather have a hula hoop than the GNB.
The New International Version is becoming pretty ubiquitous now, but I still feel that it's like eating a cheese sandwich that you've forgotten to put the cheese in. Something special is missing.
Monsieur B: Ah, progress. As time moves forward not everything gets better. The English language is going the same way as the contents of a fruit bowl if you leave it too long. Hey ho.
dogma was the BEST anti good news catholic church movie! i have to admit, i do miss the high ceremony of the old church, sugar! what a show that was *sigh*
Hee hee. I loved Dogma too, Savannah.
The moment Alan Rickman dropped his trousers to reveal his genitally challenged state will stay with me always.
I was going to watch Life of Brian tonight, but I think I'll dig out Dogma and make it an irreverent double bill.
I remember loving Chaucer in college, savoring the words, reading it out loud and just...yes...falling in love.
I know just enough of the bible to make my sisters really, really mad.
And translations are tricky. I write french notes to Liv (pretending to be the fairy queen) and she gets frustrated trying to translate them herself, so goes online. My last note read, in part,
"Dear Liv, The leprechauns appreciate your consent to plant carrot seeds for them. Does your dog bite? If you catch us, will you cage us?"
The online translation went:
Expensive Liv, The monsters are mad for your eating of the carrots. Is your canine have teeth? If you rope us, will there be a caging process?
It made me laugh.
I like to think of you sitting in the back of a church, listening and taking it all in, letting your brain have a go at it. And then telling us all about it in your own way which is unbeatable.
Oh, hee hee, Maria!
That BabelFish has a lot to answer for. I particularly love "If you rope us, will there be a caging process." What must be going through Liv's mind when she reads that?
Actually, I was sitting at the back of the church trying to hear what Linnet was saying over the chattering of my own and everybody else's teeth. We have a howling arctic gale here today (as it's Spring … Winter was ridiculously mild) and the old stone walls kept none of it out. Brrr …
Oh how I wish I HAD a quaint little village church to sit in the back of and just shiver away. Personally, I love me a good lyrical Latin Catholic service in an ancient cathedral somewhere in Europe. I've actually taken communion in several of them (heresy, I know!)
Great writing! I think I shall make a toast to Chaucer tonight and read aloud from the Canterbury Tales.
Hey Dive - just followed a link over from Terroni. Great blog.
Like Scout I was raised the KJV, but the GNB came in the late 60's. At least it was easier to read, but suspect in the interpretive department.
Hymns - love singing the good one. Sometimes I wish I could've belonged to a Black Southern Baptist Choir - now they know how to sing a good hymn, yes sir!
Keep warm. Don't forget your scarf and goulashes.
deb
This is all way over my head. Let's talk about the hoola hoop some more.
Gosh Dive's gone to church. Well i have to say i'm not that Godbothered about the Bible either way, i did go through a spell of reading most of it as a teen but i didn't get hooked in. I absolutely agree about updating Chaucer and Shakespeare....WHAT?! No no no. The whole point is that it should be studied to be understood, yes it takes some effort. As you say, many young ones lack this these days, not all but some. I have to add too that it's not the young ones in my view, it's the SCHOOLS. The educational system is dumbing down in an ongoing downward spiral i think. I am generalising of course and there are good teachers, good schools but there is a tend to make things 'easier to manage'. Why? Recently it was decided that British pupils should no longer take oral exams for languages since it was considered too stressful. Oh please. Don't get me started.
I'd like to have been in church with you Dive, but only for the architecture and the pew experience. lol.
Suesun: I did the same as you last night, though I read the deliciously rude Miller's Tale and Reeve's Tale. Great bedtime smut. Hee hee.
Deboo: Welcome! I love it when new people drop by and give me new blogs to read.
As for the black Baptists, I can thoroughly recommend The Abyssinian Baptist Gospel Choir's classic 1960 album "Shakin' The Rafters". It's a doozy!
Rich: You're a Bostonian! You should be interested in language as you guys have one all your own.
Dammit … Now you've got me thinking of hula girls …
Lynn: You are so right! Don't start me off on the dumbing down of education or I might explode rather messily.
Loved the pew joke. Hee hee.
Funny, the only people here who bitch about the decreasing popularity of the KJV are the really hard-core fundies (or is it fundys?). It was much more amusing to read the Atheist's rant about the subject.
Will you be going to church on Easter as well?
Yup. I still tend to go to the biggies,just for a good old sing-along and a free tea and biscuit session.
Thoroughly entertaining Dive. A bit like plugging the nano ipod into a speaker the size of a toaster compared with taking the LP out of it's dust jacket and lining up the needle on the old stereo, what?
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