Monday Melee With Crap Rhymes

Yikes!
So now we have to do a rhyming version of Fracas Monday Melee?
Whoo. That's a tough one. I'm crap at rhyming stuff.
Oh well; here goes nothing (story of my life) …

1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).

The phrase "I'm not a racist, but …
We're overrun by immigrants."
You hypocritical fuck-nut
Your brain is in your pants.

2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).

Politicians "going green".
The lying bastards are obscene.

3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).

I broke my glasses Saturday,
My iPod froze, I've got a cough,
My back aches and I think I may
Just tell the world to fuck right off.

4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).

J. Arthur Rank's
Getting my thanks.
(A joke for the English,
But not for the Yanks*).

*"Yanks" … geddit? Oh, please yourselves.

5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).

I hate my face, I hate my tum,
The time has come to praise my bum.

6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).

At times like this I'd wish for
The ability to rhyme,
Though that would be too tragic
If it happened all the time.
I'd lose my job, I'd lose my friends,
They'd all think I'd gone bats.
I'd have to work for Hallmark
Writing doggerel for twats.

Next week: the Movie Melee.
Miss it if you dare.